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Why A Scar Is Better Than Being Good At Swordfighting



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Wed Sep 06, 2006 7:37 pm
Snoink says...



Yay! I found a new poem, and I've fallen in love with it. Check it out...



Why A Scar Is Better Than Being Good At Swordfighting
by Alex Green

The soccer player who was bitten by a shark has a scar that sits under his eye like the fossil of a creature with a spine. Your friends think he gets all the girls because it makes him look tough, but you know that's not it. It's how they can see from the scar how violence failed on him, how it could only manage to glide weakly against his face like a weak splash from a shallow pool. He kicks winning goals, he gets perfect grades and to make matters worse, he's a really nice guy. He's kind and thoughtful and speaks quietly as if he's discussing the delicate childhood of someone nearby. You make everyone laugh with your Australian accent, your impressions of your professors, your ventriloquist act with a sandwich, but that's about it. You even have dates here and there, but you're no match for the soccer player because funny always loses to a scar. At night you stare in the mirror and think about giving yourself one, just to even things up. A quick swipe with a knife would last for years of girls, but you worry that you don't know how far to take the blade or if the bleeding will stop on its own. You'd probably go too deep, puncture an artery and soak the campus in blood; or you'd go too shallow for stitches and end up bandaged and embarrassed, known as a fraud forever. But the real problem is you wouldn't know how to live under a scar; how to act, how to stand, what to say when people say things, so instead you try to carve your initials in the woodframe above the window. And even when the blade goes hot in your hand and the letters break in half against the surface of the grain, you can't stop slicing away at the night.



From here: http://www.stmarys-ca.edu/magazine/v27/1/endnote.html

So, what do you guys think? :D
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

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Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:56 am
backgroundbob says...



It's great.

But it's also lazy, in my humble opinion. Great idea and brilliantly written, lack of effort on technique.
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Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:58 am
Snoink says...



Hehe! What do you mean by lack of technique? :P
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Thu Sep 07, 2006 2:14 am
backgroundbob says...



Well, let's see... perhaps it's the fact that it's one massive block of text?

:P
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Thu Sep 07, 2006 2:32 am
Doctor Kitty says...



To be honest it's kinda depressing to me...
  





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Thu Sep 07, 2006 2:36 am
Poor Imp says...



backgroundbob wrote:Well, let's see... perhaps it's the fact that it's one massive block of text?

:P


My complaint exactly - as far as its form, poetry. #_#

It's a very good thought - rather than read, to be specific. (Though I've got to argue its title, swordplay being infinitely better than scars. ^_~)
ex umbris et imaginibus in veritatem

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Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:41 pm
backgroundbob says...



Difference between swordfighting and swordplay is as big as the one between WW2 and Civ2, m'dear :)

But yeah - I remember doing 'poems' like this, but they're really just short blocks of prose.
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Thu Sep 07, 2006 11:30 pm
Poor Imp says...



backgroundbob wrote:Difference between swordfighting and swordplay is as big as the one between WW2 and Civ2, m'dear :)


...Ah...unfortunately. !_! (Precise meaning noted...ha. ^_^)
ex umbris et imaginibus in veritatem

"There is adventure in simply being among those we love, and among the things we love -- and beauty, too."
-Lloyd Alexander
  








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