The walk up to the mansion felt longer than she remembered. Maybe the fantasy-adventure weekend had taken more of a toll on her than she thought. Or maybe it was having to deal with Tula now that was draining her a bit.
It wasn't like it was bad living with her. Tula was just... angry. And that was hard to be around.
It kind of felt like living with a moody teenager, even though Tula was older than her. At least, Clandestine thought she was, but she wouldn't have known from the way Tula acted. The poor woman hadn't really grown up in a lot of ways. She wondered if Tula ever had anyone there for her in a way that mattered. Clanny knew she could've been in a really similar spot if she'd just made a few different choices in life, too.
But it was whatever, really. Clanny wasn't responsible for her. She was just trying to be kind, even if Tula didn't appreciate it at the moment. She supposed that was the part that was tiring.
That, and even after a whole never-ending battle with a bunch of mushroom people, she still had a full room of animals to take care of.
Now, don't get her wrong. She loved them. She cared for them. And she gladly did all the stuff they needed that they'd missed in her absence - like cleaning, clearing litter-boxes, bathing, feeding, and all of that. But she was just one person, and while it'd been manageable at the start, with her being so physically exhausted, she was feeling pretty spent.
People didn't seem to realize that having pets - especially that many - was kind of like a full time job.
Okay. Maybe a part-time one.
Heck, she was multi-tasking at the moment, anyway, since she'd brought Jumbo with her for a walk. Which he was enjoying thoroughly, by the way, judging from his big fluffy tail wagging.
When she finally made it to the entrance of the mansion, she didn't know why she felt a little nervous.
Natalie had spent a lot of time with her the past week, and it had been really nice. They'd cooked together, they'd had nice conversations, went shopping, and spent time with her and her pets. Natalie was so personable and asked so many questions, listened so well, and happily shared about her own life and children. She even taught her piano - building off the basic building blocks Alan had given her.
Clanny would never tell Alan, but Natalie was a better teacher. It was helpful.
But with all of the good moments they shared, for some reason Clanny felt like maybe she shouldn't be presumptuous.
Hesitating on approach, Clanny stood awkwardly, looking down the pathway that led to the base floor of the mansion where all the guests were staying. It was still pretty early. Maybe Natalie wasn't awake yet?
No. This was silly. This was just... just old insecurities and stuff, coming up again. She was afraid Natalie would be upset for some reason, but that didn't make any sense. Right?
Clanny held her hands together in front of her, biting her lower lip a little as she tried to give herself a moment to work through this little emotional bump in the road. It was kind of distracting, though, when Jumbo pulled away and started walking ahead.
She'd had him leashless because normally he was pretty good at staying closeby. But he was...
"Hey!" she called out, running after him.
Ack. Jimbo was going up to Alistair. It looked like Alistair was smoking on a bench or something. Clandestine didn't make it in time, though. Jimbo was already sitting in front of Alistair, drooling with his tongue lolled out, and looking at the poor guy expectantly for pets.
Clanny ran up, clicking her tongue in chastisement. Jimbo knew what it meant, and he dipped his head in apology, retreating to her side.
Hands on her hips, Clanny caught her breath for a second after her brief sprint.
"Sorry about that," she said. "He doesn't usually do that."
Previously slouching, Alistair sat up straighter, setting his hand holding the cigarette on his lap. "All's good. It's fine," he said stiffly with a weak shrug.
Clanny flashed him an apologetic smile, patting Jimbo's head in appeasement. He wagged his tail, content.
"I um," she started, realizing the previous anxiety and awkwardness was still lingering, and she didn't really know how to shake it. "Yeah. I interrupted your morning moment, didn't I. Should I um -- is anyone inside awake? Do you know if-- cause I'm looking for your mom is all."
Well that could've come out nicer. Oh well. She smiled again, trying not to seem so unreasonably nervous.
Alistair hesitated, glancing between her and the mansion's entrance a few times. "Uh." He turned towards the bin next to him, tossing the cigarette in. "No, you didn't interrupt my morning moment. I'm just..." Back flat against the bench, he wrapped one arm on the top of the bench, pressing his lips together into a half smile and fluorish of his hand to say, "Chilling."
He pressed his lips even tighter together, closing his eyes for a brief moment as he lightly shook his head, continuing. "But... yeah. My mom's inside. Probably in her room or the lobby."
Clanny nodded, finding herself holding her thumb in front of her again as she cast off a glance to the main doors.
Gosh, this was so... she had no reason to be nervous. It made no sense! She pressed her lips together and then looked back at Alistair. Maybe she just... needed a few more moments. To calm down and be a big girl again. That was okay, right? She wasn't in a rush.
"Can I sit with you?" she blurted.
Alistair didn't answer right away, blankly staring at her. "Uh." He dropped his arm on top of the back of the bench, broadly gesturing to the open bench. "Sure, yeah."
Clanny let out a sigh of relief and hurried to sit down on the bench with a comfortable space between them. She leaned back for a second before deciding that did not help with the tightness in her chest and instead leaned forward, putting her hands on her knees.
"...You feeling okay?" Alistair asked more quietly, watching her with open concern.
Clanny pinched her eyes shut.
"I don't know. I think. I'm just anxious. I don't know why," she said.
He softly hummed. "Does this happen a lot for you?"
Clanny pouted a little, leaning more so she was hugging her arms.
"It's been a little while," she answered honestly. "It normally... I don't know. I usually feel like this if I'm..."
She hesitated, not sure if it would be oversharing to say.
"Sometimes stuff happens that reminds me of some... some stuff in my childhood, I guess. But I can't think of anything that triggered it today," she said quietly.
A pause.
"I don't know if that's too much to say," she added softly.
"No. No, that's not too much," Alistair said more quickly and assuredly. He paused, quiet for a moment. "Sorry. I was just thinking of a good response. I didn't want to say anything insensitive." He glanced at her. "It's one of those days, huh?"
Clanny nodded. "I guess so," she said with a sigh.
Jimbo came closer, sticking his head between her knees. She appreciated it. She held his head in return.
"Yeah. Shit sucks sometimes." Alistair sighed. "I sometimes get that too. I don't know what brings it on." He weakly shrugged. "Maybe there isn't really any trigger. I don't know."
Clanny idly scratched under Jimbo's ears. She looked over at Alistair, watching him for a moment, noticing the cigarette was gone before he'd finished it.
She wondered if that was why he smoked.
"Have you been up long?" she asked.
"Is twenty minutes long?" he asked dully.
Clanny shook her head. "No," she said. "I've been up a lot longer than you have, then."
Alistair hummed, bowing his head to the side to adjust his cap. "So you're a morning person. That's unsurprising."
Clanny tilted her head at him, pinching her brows a bit with a faint amused grin.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.
He innocently shrugged. "Just saying. Must be nice to wake up and be full of so much energy."
Clanny let out a huff through her nose. "I mean, I spend most of it making sure all my animal buddies are okay," she said, patting Jimbo's head.
"Let me guess." Alistair loosely estured towards Jimbo. "They're all morning creatures too."
"Not all of them actually!" Clanny said, raising a finger. "The elderly cats like to sleep in. I just set their food out for them for when they wake up."
"Well, yeah." Alistair waved his hand up in the air. "They're cats. They sleep for like eighteen hours a day."
"I don't think I've ever slept that long," Clanny said. "But it sounds like it could be nice."
"Can confirm. It's nice." Alistair slouched back on the bench, sighing. "Maybe I'll go back to sleep after this."
"Really?" Clanny asked. "You can just do that?"
"Mhm. It's my magic to sleep on command," he deadpanned.
"Wow," Clanny said, raising her brows. "That's a nice super power. Insomniacs must be jealous."
Alistair gave her a funny look, though she didn't know what warranted it. "Yyyyyeah," he drew out, biting back an amused smile. "Let's go with that."
Clanny tilted her head a bit. Had she missed something?
"Did I say something wrong?" she asked.
He huffed out a faint laugh, shaking his head. "No," he said with a small smile. "I'm just teasing you. I was being sarcastic."
Clanny smiled, feeling a little embarassed, but she let the feeling wash over her and away.
"Oh," she said, happy she'd at least made Alistair laugh. "Well. I'll try to um. Match that, then. Sarcasm."
She gave a little salute.
"Nah." He waved away the salute. "Just be yourself. If sarcasm isn't your thing, no need to copy that." Alistair shrugged a shoulder. "No promises that I won't stop being amused, though."
Clanny's head sunk a little between her shoulders, feeling a little more embarassed at that, but she tried to shrug it off with a small smile.
"Okay," she said. "I'll just be myself, then. Easy enough."
Alistair nodded, and a short lull passed between them. But this time, Alistair spoke before she could.
"So, uh," he began. "You said you were going to see my mom?"
Oh. Right.
Clanny scratched the side of her face.
"Yeah," she said, a little quieter. "Um. Just since I haven't seen her since the whole... you know. Do you think she'd like that?"
"Right..." Alistair brushed at his knee, unfocused. "Yeah, she wouldn't mind. She seems to like you." He hesitated, glancing back at her. "You doing okay, though? That event was..." He grimaced. "Rough."
Clanny frowned a little bit.
Honestly, she hadn't really had a chance to think about it. When she'd gotten home, she really only had the energy for grabbing some food, taking a shower, taking care of the animals... and then she'd conked out. This was the morning after all of that. She felt like she'd almost forgotten.
"It was kind of weird how it all didn't feel real," she said quietly. "And yet I still feel as tired as I'd expect to be if it was."
A beat.
"And it... was," she said.
"Yeah. 'Tired' is an understatement," Alistair replied with a sigh.
"It felt kind of weird, killing all those creatures," Clanny said softly. "Like, I know it was all part of the 'test,' but... even with my job we don't kill monsters without a cause."
She sighed, hugging Jimbo's head. He tucked it up under her chin.
"And I know there's self defense and there was the prize and all that. But why put creatures in a situation where their purpose is to die? In real life a lot of monsters can live in the world and have their own little system apart from human culture. It's only when it runs into ours in a harmful way that we intervene. But this felt like they were scared. Brought to us just to fight. I don't think they wanted that..."
She pressed her lips together, looking over to Alistair with an apologetic squint.
"Sorry," she said. "No one really thinks about the monsters. I know people come first. I just think it was all really unfair. I wish I could've figured out how to speak to them all and fix things peacefully. I wish I knew how to talk to monsters too."
Alistair was quiet for a moment, rubbing his thumb over his knee, taking in her words. "I don't think there's one easy solution or right answer here, but..." He weakly shrugged. "Maybe it starts by asking yourself who the real monsters are. In those creatures eyes, we're the monsters."
Alistair sighed, slouching to his side, elbow perched on the arm of the bench. "Easier said than done, though," he muttered.
"Especially when a giant mushroom creature is about to crush your friend," Clannt said.
"Maybe it's a fear response. Or they're protecting their weird mushroom family." Alistair adjusted his cap, brows furrowed as he squinted into the distance. "Are mushroom people even real, or...?"
"Not gonna lie," Clanny said. "Most of those creatures I've never seen before, and I live in monster city. If I had to guess, someone created them from a petri dish for this."
"Nice," Alistair said blandly. "Cool to create life to kill them off for worldwide entertainment."
"Does that make me a modern day gladiator?" Clandestine asked, looking up at the sky.
"Oh god. Don't give the DMV any ideas," he groaned.
"Oh. I forgot they're listening," Clanny mumbled. "Supposedly. Though they don't really give me that much attention, I don't think. I'm just the animal girl. I feel like I've only been on the fringes of all of the... well, it feels dismissive to call it 'drama.'"
Alistair hesitated, shooting a few uncertain glances her way. "Who says you're 'just the animal girl'?" he asked.
Clanny blinked, looking at him in a bit of confusion.
"I mean, no one's really said it like, to my face..." she said. "At least, not here. I kind of just assumed..."
Well now this was awkward.
"I guess it's just me saying it," she admitted quietly.
"...Well." Alistair said a bit stiffly, slowly sitting upright, back flat against the bench. He brushed his fingers over the arm of the bench, attention mostly fixed on the patch of flowers in the nearby garden. "I think you have a lot more to offer than just 'animal girl.'"
Clanny let out a huff through her nose, smiling softly.
"Thanks," she said. "I'd like to think so too."
She paused, wishing she could form a compliment in return for Alistair, but she realized most of what she knew about him was from his mom, and not actually from Alistair himself. Probably best to wait on that so she could say something genuine from what she saw, and now just what his mom told her in her own words.
So she went with a joke instead.
"And you have more to offer than being a 'good sleeper,'" she said.
Alistair had used the natural lull to drink from a blue krokerade drink, but upon hearing the joke, he loudly spat out the drink, spraying the liquid in a mist in front of him. Flustered, he turned away to cough into his elbow, gasping for air between choked coughs.
Clandestine let out a bark of a laugh in surprise. Did she make him laugh? Or did he just choke?
"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" she asked through laughter.
"Yup," he rasped out, coughs dying down as he melted in his seat. "Yeah. I'm okay."
"If only you have a super power to not have drinking problems," Clanny said.
"Oh my god," Alistair muttered, hand covering his face as he sunk lower into the bench.
Clandestine let out a giggle, feeling a little pleased with her own joke but a little sorry it was at Alistair's expense.
"Sorry, sorry," she said, lightly patting his shoulder. "I'll give you a moment to recover."
"I'm..." Alistair cleared his throat, stiffly sitting upright again, sighing as he squinted at the flowerbed again. "Recovered, yeah. It's, uh..." He took off his cap, setting it on his lap so he could push back the hair sticking on his forehead. "I hate the weather here. How does anyone tolerate it?"
Clanny let out a huff through her nose.
"You dress right and stay hydrated," she said matter-of-factly. Then looked at his whole outfit up and down.
All black. No wonder he was dying.
"Neither of which you're really doing at the moment, mister 'wearing-the-color-that-absorbs-the-most-heat-possible,'" she said.
Alistair sighed, tilting his head backwards as he stared blankly into the sky. "I only brought one shirt that wasn't black," he said with no enthusiasm, "and my brother stole it from me."
"Well if it's breathable shirts you're needing," Clanny said. "You could borrow some of mine."
A beat.
"They're not girly ones, I mean, like I have tons of big unisex t-shirts and stuff," Clanny offered. "So long as you don't mind graphic tees."
"I..." Alistair flicked his eyes towards her a few times, pausing. "Uh." He slowly lifted his head again, sitting straight and staring dead ahead of him, cheeks flushing-- probably from the hot summer temperature, since he admitted he was heating up. "Um, yeah." He casually set his elbow on the back of the bench, opposite of Clanny. "Sure. Yeah."
"Okay!" Clanny said with a smile. "I can just drop them off later. Unless you're like, dying of heat stroke right now. You know what, drinking water might be a better first step actually."
She pointed at his non-water-beverage.
"That's probably not helping, to be honest," she said.
"Hey," he said with a shrug of his shoulder. Then deadpanning, "It's got electrolytes."
"And like, 50 grams of sugar probably," Clanny said.
"Oh no," Alistair said with no enthusiasm. "I'm dying."
"Melting, is more like it," Clanny teased.
"Yup." He popped the 'p' sound with his tongue, idly playing with his cap before setting it back on his head, backwards this time. "Melting," he murmured in agreement.
Alistair was kind of funny. Being all moody, and stuff. She was glad she'd paused to talk to him, too. She was feeling a lot better now that she'd had a good laugh.
Sitting up straighter, she set her hands on her knees. Jimbo, still with his head between her legs, also sat up straighter in turn.
"Walk?" he asked.
She patted his head.
"Yes, but just a short one," she said. Jimbo wagged his tail. Clanny turned back to Alistair.
"I think I'm ready to go inside now," she said. "Thanks for talking to me. Do you want to come with?"
He glanced at her uncertaintly. "You're going to see my mom, right?"
Clanny's smile faltered a little bit, unsure if he was asking because it'd determine whether he came or not. Was this some invisible trip line? Or maybe it was nothing.
"Yeah," she said.
Alistair glanced at the entrance, gaze lingering for a long moment, hesitating but seemingly considering the invitation. "Maybe... it's best if you go by yourself," he said slowly, turning back and offering a hint of a smile. "But, I mean. I'll probably see you again before I leave. Right?"
"Yeah," Clanny said, getting to her feet. Jimbo wagged his tail even more, already postured to go. "Because I've gotta bring you shirts you can actually breathe in. Will you be around here later today?"
"Oh, uh." He glanced around him. "Like, here? This bench?"
"I mean, I don't know," Clanny said with a little laugh and a shrug. "I guess I could just text-- well, nevermind, I'd need your number for that. If you'd be cool with exchanging them and all I guess."
Alistair stared at her for a long moment, processing. "Uh." He slowly nodded, slowly drawing out a, "Yeah..." He cleared his throat, nodding again, more quickly this time. "Sure, yeah. For t-shirt delivery service, I guess."
"Cool," Clanny said, pulling out her phone and pulling up the contact app to an empty form before handing it to him. "I'll text you my name so you know it's me."
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