Corrupt a Wish [3]

Granted, but Wednesday is also Execution Night, and you're next.

I wish Stan had a mustache.

Granted, but it's not his, it's yours, which he tore from your cold dead lip after you were poisoned by the muskrat.

I wish I was the executioner and had a cool huge sword.

Granted but it's used against you and you're killed.

I wish I wasn't lazy and actually got up to make dinner.

Granted, but you mistake rat poison for sugar and you all end up dead.

I wish I had my mustache back.

Granted, but you're dead so you no longer have any use for it. It wasn't much of a mustache anyway.

I wish every rock in the world was smiling.

Granted, but all the smiling made them hungry and they ate you.

I wish chocolate was healthy but still tasted like chocolate.

Granted, but only if you eat it in tiny amounts.

I wish my toys really did come alive at night.

Granted; but they're all creepy Chucky-like toys that kill you.

I wish I won't get sent to the dean's office tomorrow....

Granted. You're expelled without warning.

I wish pigs could fly.

Granted, but they're very ungainly and often run into people.

I wish I had a little sister who was kidnapped by gypsies.

Granted, but they decided to take you too and sell you as a slave since your not much use to them.

I wish tomorrow would come faster.

Granted, but tomorrow the world ends.

I wish I would live forever.

Granted, as a freak of nature you are subject to torment, ridicule and subpar food service.

I wish I could move stuff with my mind.

Granted, as a freak of nature you are subject to torment, ridicule and sub-par food service.

I wish I had a balloon.

(for the record, I DID get sent to the dean's; but they're letting me off the hook with a warning)


Granted, but it pops.

I wish the dean doesn't call my mum!!!!