Young Writers Society

Until today, Evaline didn't think she'd ever show these drawings to James. And when she slid the bookmark on the page, she didn't realize until it was too late that it would include that picture with that quote.

The timing was awkward and ironic. Even though he didn't remember, James told her yesterday that he loved her. She didn't know if he meant it or not, and even though she was now asking herself the same question, she wasn't ready to know his answer.

But at the same time, she hadn't been as stubborn to not show him the page because there was a small part of her that wanted to know. She wanted him to know that it had crossed her mind, even before coming to the oasis.

The first part of the sentence—"I refuse to fall in love"—might have hurt him. And obviously, she didn't want that. But how could... how could she explain this?

Evaline was looking up at him the entire time, trying to read his face for a sign, or for something. It was hard to ever read him, and it was difficult to do now too because of his sickness. Still, it seemed that his expression simultaneously hardened and softened.

"I... um..." she began nervously, not sure what kind of response he was expecting from her, if any. She nervously laughed as her mind was basically screaming with questions.

What did he mean by "change how I feel"? How did this make him feel?

"I tried to warn you," she said quietly. "But I guess this is another stubborn moment of yours."

James smiled ever so slightly and looked down taking a deep breath. His heart was only beating louder and louder.

"I know," he said quietly. "I guess I'm wondering... if you were afraid because there was a certain response that you wanted, or if you didn't feel ready to talk about it. Both are understandable reasons."

He paused.

"I know I'm... dancing around what's going on in my head. I just don't know if you want to hear it, which is why I'm hesitating to just... say it."

Evaline knew what he wanted to say because she had already heard it. If he had known that she almost went back in time because of it, maybe he wouldn't want to have this conversation. And maybe he wouldn't want to have this conversation, ever.

Her head started to feel lightheaded as doubt also began to seep in. What if he was talking about something else? Something she didn't anticipate? Was she overthinking this?

James was right. She wasn't ready. She shouldn't have shown this page yet.

"I..." she began with panic laced her voice, then trailed off to collect herself. "I think we should have this conversation later."

She paused, her eyes drifting down to the teddy bear still on his lap with the journal in front of it, almost like it was reading it. The image was comical enough to soothe her mind from this suddenly anxious moment.

"When you're less sick and tired," she added quietly.

James slowly reached out and took her hand in both of his, holding it firmly.

"Alright," he said softly, looking into her face with earnest sincerity. "But I promise you, I do want to talk about it when you are ready. It doesn't have to be today, and it doesn't have to be soon, but if it is weighing on you to the point that it is difficult to bear, please don't feel like I don't want to talk about it. And if - if for whatever reason, my memory fails me again as it did before, please don't let me forget this conversation."

Evaline nodded, appreciating that James took her hand to say his next words. He said he had been trying to add in extra touches because he knew she would appreciate it, and it was in this moment that she appreciated his intentions even more. He was going at a slower pace than she was used to, but... now, she didn't mind it. It made her appreciate him and the little things more.

And she appreciated that James was patient, even in times like this. He told her that she could bring this conversation back up if it weighed on her to the point that it became too difficult to bear, but she wondered how far he was himself. Was this weighing on him heavily, but he held back because she wasn't comfortable yet? Would he place great blame on himself if she told him that he already confessed last night?

She mirrored the sincerity, placing her free hand on top of his hands holding hers.

"Thank you," she said warmly. "I won't let you forget."

Because she couldn't forget. And she knew she couldn't keep this inside. Not forever.

Evaline paused for a moment, taking this moment in. So much had happened in the span of one hour: the reveal of the meaningless note, her retelling of the story, the kiss, the official courtship, reminiscing through her journal, building his confidence, postponing a conversation about how they felt about one another...

She could see the tiredness in his eyes and how he was pushing it down, because each moment mattered, and he didn't want to forget.

"I know this is a lot to take in, and you're not feeling well," she said as her gaze drifted to the loose bandage wrapped around his arm above the stitches. "I'll clean one last wound, but you should get some rest."

James nodded slowly. "Alright," he said quietly.

She gently pulled her hands away and then began to unstack the blankets behind him so that only the pillow would be behind his head, and she helped prop him down. When he was ready, she laid the blankets over his body, then kneeled over to his left side to prop his arm over her knee.

Silently, Evaline began to do the usual cleaning method: undo the bandages, clean up any residue with a dry washcloth, apply salve, and then wrap with fresh bandages. In the middle of applying the salve, she could see James drifting off to sleep, but he was fighting it, like he wanted to be present with her until she left.

"It's okay," she said gently. "Get some sleep. I'll finish up and leave to get supplies, but I'll be back. I'll be here when you awake. Don't worry."

And with that consent, James seemed to no longer fight the tiredness and lulled to a deep sleep, even while she had to move his arm to wrap the bandage. She was glad that he slept, though. He deserved all the rest he could get.

When finished, she tucked his arm under the blanket, then cleaned up around the tent, putting away the medical supplies and journals, and piling the used bandages into one ball that the used washcloths wrapped around.

Slowly, she headed for the exit, but not before looking over her shoulder and looking back at James one last time. Although she frequently noted that he looked to be at peace when sleeping sometimes, he really looked to be at peace now, even when sick. Perhaps everything that happened in the last hour finally caught up to him.

She hoped that, for once, he had a happy dream that he could remember.

And with that, Evaline left the tent, setting off to check in with Edna and grab food and other supplies.

Evaline headed towards Edna's hut with the emptied basket from Kurt that was suspiciously filled with rags, but also the used bandages underneath them. It felt ridiculous to smuggle their waste like this, but she didn't know what else to do since others may start asking questions if she tossed it publicly.

Thankfully, she approached the hut Edna described without running into anyone. She took a deep breath, and then knocked on the door.

"Oh, hello, dear," Edna said, opening the door with a sweet smile. "Is everything alright? How's Yoen?"

"Hi," Evaline said with a forced smile. "He's doing better, but still sick." She paused, her fingers drumming along the handle of the basket as she looked down and saw the pile of rags in it. "I thought I'd come by to get some more supplies, and toss some things, if that's, um... okay."

Edna's eyes fell to the basket. "Oh, why of course, come in," she said, backing away and pulling the door open for Evaline to enter.

She gave Edna an appreciative nod as she entered the hut and was immediately greeted by the smell of fresh-baked bread. And she was right: there were a few loaves of fresh bread on a table, as well as papers with crayons scribbled over it. It seemed that some of the kids were here just a little bit ago. Other than that, the furniture was sophisticated and homey. Edna definitely lived here.

"I assume you have old bandages under there and the like," Edna said. "I can take care of those for you. I know you don't want the whole world knowing he's hurt as bad as he is."

Evaline found herself very glad that Edna understood. "Oh, thank you," she said as she handed over the basket. "They're hidden under the rags. I appreciate it."

"No worries, sweetheart," Edna said with a smile as she took the basket and set it aside for moment. "You said you needed more... bandages? Are the stitches holding up?"

"And gauze, and fresh washcloths," Evaline replied, nodding. "But yes, they're holding up very well. Thank you again."

"Gauze, gauze," Edna hummed to herself. She walked over to a dresser with the basket, opened a drawer, and pulls out various items to pile in the basket.

"You know, John used to get into all sorts of scrapes," she seemed to muse out loud. "Wasn't the most composed man, but he was kind. 'Course, I was a doctor before we met, so it was only by luck that we found each other. I think we patched each other up in more ways than one."

As she talked, she continued to pull items out of the drawer to place into the basket.

"You know, there was one time we were traveling, just the two of us, and we just happened to run into a fellow he once knew. They had an awfully ugly falling out. Needless to say, I wasn't really able to hold him back when they went at it. In hindsight, it was very scary at the time, but John was strong and made it out, but it was a hard time... He got hurt pretty bad. But he pulled through, and I'm sure your Yoen will too."

Edna continued to drone on, but Evaline was looking around to see if maybe Edna had any books around. She was sure that the oasis had some, and Edna seemed like she'd enjoy reading too. The only book she found was on a cabinet, and she was just close enough to see the word 'medical' printed on the spine. Maybe a set of information about medicine.

"I hope so," Evaline said softly. "I'm sure of it too."

Edna seemed to pause in her story to let her ruminate in it, but instead, Evaline thought to switch subjects instead.

"Kurt came by this morning," she said casually, shifting her weight to her other foot as she watched Edna glance back at her. "He came by to drop off a gift basket that I assume are from all the kids. It was really nice of them. I'll have to thank them for all the items." She paused to gauge her reaction.

"They're real sweethearts when you give them the chance," Edna said with a little smirk. "And I may have slipped in something about Yoen being at death's door. They felt real bad for him. I thought it would be best to exaggerate to make sure they don't poke their noses in your tent too much."

That made sense. She must have figured or heard from someone that they had to babysit the kids, and they were a bit out of control, even with Mikel nearby. It would be nice to be on their sympathetic side for the week.

"I appreciate that," Evaline said with a small smile. "I also noticed that they included a book. It's a children's book, but Yoen loves all books, and he appreciated it anyways. I also know there's going to be a lot of downtime for him when he's not sleeping... And I was wondering if, maybe, there were any more that I can lend to him?"

Edna nodded in understanding. "You know, you should talk to Gabby and Mikel. They've got quite a few books on 'em collected over the years for the kids, but not all of them are children's books. Gabby's quite a reader too."

This piqued her interest. "Okay. I'll come by their hut. Thanks for passing that along."

"Of course, dear," Edna said with a warm smile as she closed the drawer and walked towards her with the basket to hand back to her. "Let me know how Yoen's doing and if you need me to check on him."

"Will do," Evaline said as she took the basket from her hands. "I'm going to stay by his side for the rest of the day, but I'll let you know tomorrow if he'd want visitors. Thanks again." She turned to leave, but then paused in thought. "I will need food though. He hasn't eaten in a while, and I worry he won't be able to stomach a meal. What should I feed him?"

"Don't worry, this is a common symptom for fevers, and it certainly doesn't help that the two of you went without food last week." Edna smiled and opened the door for her. "We have just the meal for him. Go ahead and talk to Sasha in the kitchen. She's really busy these days, but she should be there now helping out with lunch. She's not only a great leader, but also a great cook."

Evaline leaves Edna's hut and waved to say goodbye, then followed the path to go towards Mikel's hut. She only remembered where it was because Mikel had walked back and forth numerous times while they babysat his kids. Evaline may have shot him daggering looks while he walked, so it was hard to not remember that. Still, she found herself wishing she had confirmed the location with Edna as she nervously knocked on the door.

After some shuffling inside, a woman answered the door, and it occurred to Evaline that she hadn't been introduced to Mikel's wife, Gabby. This must have been her. She looked tired.

"We just got the baby to sleep," she said, seemingly looking past her. "What do you need?" Evaline could see Mikel in the background watching the baby above a crib.

"Hi - sorry to intrude," she began softly as she realized that Gabby probably didn't know or remembered her name. "I'm Evaline. I'm here visiting with my husband Yoen who's sick, and I -- well, Edna sent me here to see if you had books. Should I come back another time?"

Gabby looked back into room and made eye contact with Mikel. They both nodded like they had a wordless conversation.

"It's fine, just keep your voice down," she whispered, giving a tired smile as she opened the door for her. "I'll bring you to our bookshelf. We don't have a whole library, mind you, but it's good to pass the time, of course."

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Evaline said with an appreciative nod.

She walked in the hut and was greeted by the stale air of paints. It had been a long time since she smelled that, and it had been even longer since she had seen painted canvases lined along the wall and stacked on easels. So, Gabby was a painter, and also a busy mom, which she knew from her many kids and the many toys littered around the floor.

Evaline let this thought seep in as she quietly led her to a shared kids' bedroom. Along the wall was a tall, skinny bookshelf full of books and toys. Gabby reached up high on the top shelf, pulling down two novels. These books were clearly thicker than the book from the basket.

"I have a few for myself. These two are fictional love stories," she said as she handed it to Evaline. She smiled, but looked a little embarrassed. "I like them, even though I know they can be cheesy. But hopefully they'll be entertaining enough for you. I know Mikel finds them more funny than anything."

So, these were romance books. Evaline had always steered away from romance books since she found them all groan-worthy and, like Gabby said, cheesy. And also unrealistic. But still, she wasn't going to turn them down. This was for James, anyways. Maybe he liked this genre...?

Evaline graciously took the book with a shy smile.

"Anything to pass the time will help," she said as she placed it in her basket. "Thank you. I'll return them when he's done reading it." Although, a small part of her wanted to read it too. Although romance wasn't really her genre, she couldn't contain the speck of excitement that this was a new story to read.

"That works just fine. And feel free to come by if you need more. I'm happy to share." Gabby then paused in thought. "Is he looking any better this morning? Mikel said he ran off last night? Is that right?"

"Yoen is doing better this morning than yesterday, yes. But he still has a fever so unfortunately we'll have to stay a few more days."

"Well, we wouldn't want to send you two out with him so sick. We want you to stay until he's better."

Evaline smiled. "Thank you. Everyone here has been hospitable. We truly appreciate it."

Gabby smiled back as she started to walk back towards the room. "You are very welcome." They reached the common area again and sneaked past the baby, and she whispered her goodbyes as Evaline headed for the door. She thought about asking Gabby about her art, but then decided against it since it seemed that they wanted to keep the quiet atmosphere for the baby. Instead she thanked her some more and waved goodbye to her and Mikel.

Some time passed as Evaline made her way back around the kitchen area. Thankfully, Kurt was nowhere to be found, but she had passed by Liana, Ava, and Mateo who seemed to express concern and gave her tips on what to do. She also figured that Ava and Mateo were likely going to leave before she and James did, so she made a mental note to spend some time with them before they did.

With Liana's help, she was able to find Sasha buzzing around near the kitchen.

"Ah, Evelyn," Sasha said with a warm smile, dropping the task she was doing to shift her attention to her and approach. "I'm been looking for you."

"Oh," Evaline said with a slight smile. "Funny, because I was looking for you."

"Is that so?" Sasha smiled in amusement and nodded. "Well, glad we ran into each other then. I've been busy taking care of bringing in resources to the oasis, so I'm sorry if I haven't been around that much. I'm happy to help whenever I can, though. And Edna told me that Yoen is sick? I'm sorry to hear that. Everyone is happy to have you here until he gets better. Just let me know if there's anything you need at all."

Sasha seemed to talk fast and jump from one topic to another, which indicated to Evaline that she must indeed be busy if she was rushing this conversation.

"Oh, um -- yes, actually," she said, actually finding her cut-to-the-chase personality quite enjoyable. "It's been tough for him to keep down food. I think a hearty meal will do him well."

"Perfect timing. Follow me," Sasha said as she led her to a big pot in the kitchen. With each passing step, Evaline could smell the savory spices and aromas. Without prompt, Sasha began to scoop some food over an insulated bowl.

"I'll prepare you a batch of food, covered and wrapped so it'll stay warm for a while. We've got some seasoned rice, roasted vegetables, and meat with gravy. A hearty meal. If he has trouble chewing, let me or Liana know, and we can get him a bowl of soup. We've got plenty leftover from last night."

As Sasha scooped up two plates of food, she kept on talking and eventually landed on the discussion of Evaline's role in the oasis this week.

"By the way, almost everyone knows Yoen is sick. Sorry about that, it's a small settlement, so word travels fast. Of course, we're all happy to have you here until he's better, but if you're ever free, it would be great if you can help out any way you can." She looked up at Evaline to gauge her expression, maybe for interest or disdain.

"Of course. I'm happy to help," Evaline said, trying to sound sincere. "Everyone here has shown great kindness. It's the least I could do."

Sasha smiled back and then covered the bowl and wrapped it up with cloth. "I'm glad to hear that. It's small things, really, but every bit helps. We can let you know, but for now, please get this back to your husband and nurse him back to health."

She stacked the bowels and handed it off to her, and Evaline graciously cradled it with her free hand, deciding to not pile it on her basket and risk spilling anything.

"Thank you, Sasha. I'm off to do that then."

And with that, she said her goodbyes and headed back to the tent without running into anybody else. When she entered, she could see that James was still sleeping, and he hadn't moved at all. She didn't know if he was a deep or light sleeper when sick, but she didn't want to test it. Silently, she put everything away and hid the books for now, deciding to surprise him with it later.

Evaline silently sighed and sat on the stool in front of him, watching him sleep for what would be an uncomfortable amount of time if he was awake. It was nice to be here in front of him while he rested. It reminded her of the day when she basically forced him to sleep in a ditch after not sleeping for a whole week, but the atmosphere was different now.

Because right now, there were safe. And right now, there were partners. And right now, her biggest concern was to make sure he kept the food in his stomach.

It was nice, for once, to only worry about the seemingly trivial things in life. And it was even nicer to share those worries with someone she cared about.

There was a breeze in the air. Gentle, and carrying the smells of spring over the fields of the farm. Pollen carried from the flowers in the front yard to the porch where James and Evaline sat, hand-in-hand, together on the porch.

They were older. Only by ten years or so, but time had passed, and he could feel the difference. The level of intimacy that years of work and persistence had bought, all communicated with just a little touch.

Evaline leaned her head on his shoulder. The bench they were sitting on was a swing, with ropes hooked into the roof of the porch that shaded them from the setting sun in the distance, at the edge of the fields, dipping behind the treeline.

No words were exchanged between them, but there seemed to be an quiet understanding between their hearts.

It hadn’t been easy, but their love was hard-earned through patience and time. And he wouldn’t have traded it for the world. For the first time in a long time, he truly felt content.

Then, he heard the front door of their farmhouse creak open. He turned his head, and who he saw standing there... it was surreal.

It was his mother. Greying, and more wrinkled. Aged, but she had a light in her eyes he’d never seen since before his father’s death. And in her arms there was a toddler. A little girl. James knew without any explanation that the child was his. Evaline’s. Theirs.

The girl had Evaline’s dark hair, and James’s thick brows. Evaline’s soft nose, and James’s strong jawline. But he didn’t know her name.

He found himself staring, but his mother didn’t seem fazed by it, and Evaline didn’t stir from her spot, still leaning on him.

James felt his heart beginning to race as his sister followed out after.

Larrel has gotten so tall... so...

His heart stopped.

His father was right behind her.

No.

Something was wrong.

This wasn’t real.

This had to be a dream.

As if on cue, things seemed to happen in slow motion.

James stood up abruptly. The little girl started crying. His parents started rushing towards him, and that’s when he felt his head starting to spin. That’s right. He had a fever.

His head began to throb, and he felt his body starting to tremble. Then blood. Hot, and sticky, pouring out his side uncontrollably. He looked down, seeing it come out like a steady stream, and for some reason, it didn’t concern him. He just stared.

Evaline was beside him, and he felt her arm go up around his shoulders, and she leaned in towards his ear.

“You never told me how you got Elliot,” she whispered. He couldn’t tell if there was a threat veiled behind her words, or if that was the blood loss speaking. “You never told me he was a gift from Carter. I can see it in the way you look at him. Like the horse is the only thing between you and who you used to be.”

James didn’t even understand what that meant. He felt his lungs start heaving. Suddenly, he was on the ground.

Thunder roared throughout the sky, and he was caked in mud, and his leg was bleeding out. He was alone. Where was Elliot? He’d lost him. He’d lost the only thing he had in the world.

Butch was standing over him, and James looked up to see his crooked smile.

“You can’t run forever.”

And he’d made sure of it.

James watched in horror as Butch lifted his axe and swung it into his chest.

James felt the dream end abruptly as his body ripped him back into consciousness, but his eyes didn’t open right away. They felt glued shut, and his entire body ached all over, but especially his side. He could feel the sweat on his back between him and the blanket, and he struggled to wake up enough to move it.

With eyes half open, he groaned and threw off the blankets to his side, feeling a different wave of heat hit him.

The air was still warm. He was so, so warm.

He turned his head to the side, seeing Evaline sitting not far from him, hunched over her journal. Writing.

Evaline. He could’ve sworn he had a dream about her, but it faded from his memory. Instead, memories of their previous conversation came flooding back.

The kiss. The commitment. The sketchbook.

A rush of happy and nervous emotions mingled in with the anxiety of his dream, and he felt strangely uncomfortable.

He watched Evaline with half-opened eyes, waiting for some of the anxiety to fade, and not wanting to interrupt her journaling.

Hours passed, and Evaline had plenty of time to herself as she sat by James's side. She wanted to be there for him when he woke up, but she knew it could be well into the night before he did. That was okay, though. She was happy to wait.

She was filling her time writing in her journal, and then her eyes flicked to James. She did this every few minuets or so out of habit, especially when he groaned, twitched, or made some kind of noise. It was usually just him sleeping—dreaming, presumably—but this time, she noticed that his eyes were halfway open and peering up at her.

"Hi," she softly said with a growing smile, meeting his eyes. She held her gaze for a little longer, then slipped the pencil on the page and closed the journal, already getting up to put it away.

"Sleep okay?"

Her smile was comforting, and James felt some of the anxiety melting away, though some of it was still lingering.

"I had a nightmare," he said softly. "But... it's alright."

He offered her a small, tired smile.

"It's better now. Seeing you."

Evaline looked back over shoulder to linger her gaze at him with a delicate smile and softened eyes, and then she put the journal away and walked towards the small table with the food items.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, but didn't wait for him to answer. "You need to eat. Your body needs the energy."

"Okay," James said, agreeing with her. He knew he didn't have much of an appetite still, but he also knew she was right. He needed to eat if he was going to get better.

"How was your morning?"

Evaline took the tray of food then walked back over to the stool next to James, setting it on her lap.

"It's been fairly uneventful," she said, untying the cloth that was wrapped around the food. "I replenished medical supplies, got food. Oh, and..."

She paused, almost admitting that she went to visit Mikel and Gabby, but then decided to keep it to herself for now. She glanced down at him with a hint of a smile.

"I got you something, but I'll only reveal it if you finish your food."

James had no idea what she would have gotten him, but he knew it was an incentive to eat. He started to sit up, looking curiously at the tray she was holding.

"I guess I'll just have to wait then," he said. He smiled another small, sleepy smile. "It's nice... when things are uneventful."

"It is," she said with a nod. "It's nice to not have to worry about... anything, really."

Evaline placed the cloth on the side, and then opened up the metal cover. The food wasn't hot, but it was still warm. It was better that way anyways so James didn't have to worry about potentially burning his tongue.

She set the cover aside and then extended the plate out to James.

"Are you good to eat?" she asked to verify before he took it.

"I think so," he said, sitting up a little straighter. Though he was warm, he didn't feel as woozy as he did earlier. He held out his hands to receive the plate, and took it from her, setting it down in his lap. It looked like there was rice, meat, vegetables.

He looked down at it, then looked back at Evaline.

"Uh... utensils?"