Young Writers Society

"So, how's this going to work?" he asked. "I go to Terra. But what happens after?"

He looked over at Evaline in the dim light, not able to make out much of her features, even though she was close. He looked down at the grapefruit in his hands, now fully peeled, but he couldn't find the stomach to eat it just yet, even though hunger was gnawing at him.

Evaline sat still again, then retreated back to sitting up straight with her legs crossed again as this seemed like it would be a longer conversation. James wanted to have a rough idea of his future here. She didn't blame him. She would want to know too.

"I'm not sure," she said. "You didn't come with a note, so I'm not sure how you'd return to Nye. But I'm thinking I can go back to where you woke up and search for clues. I'll have to do some research."

James was already doing the math in his head. A few days to get to Terra. Another week or two for Evaline to go back to the refugee camp and look for clues and return, if she did return right away if she did find anything. That was going to be at least a month. He didn't have to pretend to be clueless, but he didn't know all of the things he thought he should know. Not enough to bs his way through conversations if he had to talk to a lot of people. He didn't know what not to say either.

He knew Evaline had already gone to great lengths to put him in the highest security camp, but he didn't know what that entailed.

"Okay," he said slowly, still trying to sort through his flood of thoughts. "And... the kid thing?"

He paused, not even sure how to formulate his question.

"I just want to know what I'm getting into, Evaline."

Evaline opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly found herself at a loss of words when James said her name. It was strange to hear coming from his mouth, and it almost felt like a strange sense of deja vu. It gave her goosebumps, in the same way she'd get if it was too cold or if she sensed something lurking nearby.

"You're not getting into anything," she said after a moment to recollect herself. "That's why I put you in Terra, where you'll be safe." She fixed her gaze back out in the darkness outside.

"Kids are rare out here. I've only seen two in the past five years, and they were already teenagers. Many people who live here want kids but can't have them. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you can bear children, and others would want to capture you for that reason alone. Again, that's why I chose Terra, among other reasons."

James still had a headache, and the pressure building inside his head only increased the more Evaline talked. Evaline did not at all address what he'd been meaning to ask. Frankly, he was far less concerned about his physical safety than what might be expected of him when he got to Terra. He decided to not dance around it, and he bit back his annoyance. He knew Evaline couldn't read his mind.

"Am I going to be expected to have children?" he said in a level voice.

James's question made Evaline squint a little as she slowly turned back to face James, studying his face. She was searching for an expression, but she couldn't help but take note of his new features.

"No," she said firmly. "Of course not. Not unless you want children, which would be safer in Terra, but I still advise against it since it would still be dangerous for you."

"Dangerous to have kids?" James asked, still not understanding.

"Dangerous to be seen with kids," Evaline corrected. "It's relatively safe by the mountain and it's even safer in Terra, but word would spread around about who the father of the child is. And that would make you a target." She paused, deciding to be even more concise so he'd understand. "We're basically protecting you from people who are so desperate to have children, they'd take someone like you."

James blinked slowly, not sure if that made him more or less nervous.

"Well, I don't plan on having kids," he said blankly. "So I guess that simplifies that."

"Good," Evaline said simply. "I'm not too worried about it, because no one would know. It was mostly an excuse to get you somewhere safe."

"... Thanks," he said with a sigh. He was quiet for a few passing seconds, leaning his head back on the wall.

"Will I be alone there? I assume you don't live there. Terra."

Evaline was quiet for a moment, still watching James. He was hard to read, but that was nothing new.

"No, I don't live there," she said. He hummed. "You might have neighbors. I don't know. I don't personally know anyone that lives there. I've only ever ridden to the gate."

She paused for a second.

"It has been discussed that someone in the committee would check in with you at least once a week," she added. "I'm not sure who it would be every week, though. It's unlikely to be consistent."

James was trying not to think too far ahead, but he could feel the weight of all of the unknowns crashing down on him. He stared out into the forest with a blank expression and dead eyes.

He was used to being alone. That wasn't what scared him.

He closed his eyes, just for a moment. These next few days were the only ones he would have any certainty of. He was traveling with Evaline. An older Evaline, one that he didn't know if he knew at all, but at the very least, she was trying to help him.

He knew there was only so much she could do. He didn't expect her to do more. But he didn't know what to tell her...

"If you don't find anything," he said slowly. "When you go back to look for clues. Don't... worry about me."

His gaze drifted to Elliot, and he abandoned that train of thought. Partially.

"Would they have anything in Terra for taking care of a horse?"

Evaline waited until James talked through his slow sentences, but she wasn't sure she fully understood what he meant by "don't worry about me."

Did he not want her to come back?

"They should," she said to answer his question. "If not, I'll make sure of it."

She knew this was a difficult situation for James. She had first-hand account of the confusion and fear of being in another world. When she went to Nye, she was lucky she had found James when he did because he helped her navigate the world. And now the roles were reversed. Only this time, he had more structure. She wasn't sure if that was better or worse now. It would have scared her on her first day to know that there was a long-term plan for her to stay in Nye.

"I'm trying to make this as easy as possible until I figure out how you got here," she said, changing the subject. "What do--"

"Does it matter?" he interjected. "How I got here?"

Evaline paused, taken back by the interruption. "I don't know," she said. "Does it?"

James stared out into the darkness, still not looking at her.

"No," he said.

Evaline could hear the soft sounds of crickets and other bugs in the background as another silence passed between them.

"Do you want me to look for clues?" she asked, deciding to unpeel the layer to that answer one at a time.

James's answer was delayed.

"I just don't know that there's anything to find," he said. "I was there. I looked around. No, I didn't know to be searching for anything, but, if it's--"

He took a deep breath and sighed.

"The only thing you found was a note. I didn't find a note."

Evaline could see that James was unraveling again.

"There might be a note there," she countered, deciding to press the subject just a little.

James didn't respond right away again. There were a few long seconds that passed.

"...You can look for clues," he finally said.

Evaline kept her gaze on him despite her not being able to absorb any information from his expression, but then she dropped it to stare at the flicking candle. She quickly replayed the conversation in her head, then decided to file it for now.

"I was about to ask you before you interrupted," she said, breaking the short silence. "But I'm not going to force you to do anything. I'm just trying to help. What do you want from all this?"

She looked back up at him, and although it took her eyes some moments to adjust from staring at the fire, she could just barely tell from the dim light that James was tightly clenching his jaw.

"I don't know," he said quietly, but it was clear he was filtering his answer.

"That's fair," Evaline said back, deciding to not prod any deeper. "I don't know either."

James slowly looked away, and she could see his shoulders move up and down slightly with a sigh.

"I appreciate all of your help," he finally said, but it didn't sound like his heart was in it. "Thank you."

"Of course," Evaline said, although she replicated the lack of sincerity. She paused in thought. "I guess I'm just returning the favor."

James finally looked back at her, but his shoulders were angled slightly away. He briefly met her eyes, and then looked away again.

"Not everyone returns favors," he said.

He seemed to be skirting around what he wanted to say, but maybe she could fuel the topic a bit more, if that would help. Evaline wondered if she should say the next words to him and tossed it back and forth in her head, but then she just decided to say it since it didn't hurt.

"Do you remember the oasis and their purpose?" she asked. She paused, adjusting her position so that she lifted one knee up and rested her arm on it. "I think about that from time-to-time. Helping others because others helped them. Passing it on."

James didn't move.

"I remember," was all he said.

"I think it's a decent philosophy," Evaline continued on. "I didn't think I'd ever return a favor in this way, but it's the right thing to do."

She waited for James to comment, but he didn't.

"I don't know," she said to fill the silence. Her day was already full of small talk. She might as well continue to pile it on. "I finished an old philosophy book the other day, so that crossed my mind."

"...Sounds nice," James said quietly.

Evaline rested her head against the tree wall, still watching James. "I have a few books if you'd rather read than talk. I don't mind."

"I have a migraine," he said in response.

Evaline hummed this over. She didn't want to read either since it was too dark and it would likely give her a headache.

"Are you tired?" she asked.

"At the risk of sounding... I don't know. I'm tired all the time. No more than usual."

She already knew that.

"Do you want to sleep now or would you rather stay up?" she asked instead.

"I can stay up," he said. Finally, he turned to her again, but his face was devoid of emotion. "I assume you keep watches in the night."

"It's hard to keep watch when you're alone," she said as she unfolded her legs and lifted the cover of the sleeping bag with the blanket bunched in her hands. She paused to peer up at him again. "I generally don't worry about it when I'm around here, though. There aren't any dangers. But... I know that would make you uncomfortable, so I don't mind sleeping in shifts if you want to do it."

James looked out of the opening of the tree.

"I would prefer that," he said.

Evaline nodded, quickly doing the math in her head. Cat Elliot needed to sleep for at least nine hours a day. She could round it up to ten, and they could both get five hours of sleep. Or, they could both get six hours, and twelve hours would pass. Half the day. It would slow them down, but... well, which was better: more sleep, or faster traveling? She decided she'd let James decide this since this was all for him anyways.

"My Elliot needs at least nine hours of uninterrupted rest," she said. "But I wouldn't want us unnecessarily being tired if there's no need to be. We can sleep more but get to Terra later, or we could sleep less and get to Terra sooner. Which do you prefer?"

"Sleep more," he said with a small nod. "I'll wake you in... six hours."

Evaline nodded. "Sure. Okay," she said as she laid down on the sleeping bag, getting on her side and facing away from him. "Thanks."

James didn't say anything, and the silence lulled her to sleep.

It was hard to describe how the sounds of Earth's forest didn't quite match those of Nye. The crickets chirped at a different pitch, and they sung a different song. The stars were scattered in different places, and the moon didn't glow in the same way.

James wished he knew what he wanted.

He didn't want to go home, but he didn't want to be here.

In his heart, he knew his honest answer was simple. If he wasn't tethered to Elliot, he wouldn't try to find an answer to that question anymore.

But he couldn't tell Evaline that.

He had already replayed the scene he'd created in the cabin a million times over. He hadn't seen his face, but he knew how pitifully desperate he must've looked, trying to run away from a room full of people who could put him in his place with one gust of wind. What he felt was beyond embarassment.

Running was all he knew how to do anymore. And if he was going to be trapped in a high-security camp he knew that would limit his freedom. It didn't matter if he was safe. It didn't matter if he could make friends, or find things to do, or figure out a way to make a home there.

James sat still in the corner of the tree, still watching. Waiting, for something to happen. Almost hoping for trouble, because at least he knew how to deal with that. Or at least, he thought he did.

James glanced at Evaline, listening closely to her steady breathing to determine if she was asleep.

It seemed like she was. He didn't think she would pretend. He hoped he could assume that.

He felt the pressure in his head boil over, and he dropped his head down, curling his arms around his face.

In a perfect world, he didn't exist.

That was what he wanted.

Finally, he let the tears come slowly, like steady streams. He made every effort to silence every sob, and muffle every sniff, but when he heard Evaline turn over in her sleep, the tears came to an abrupt stop, and didn't come back.

With a small, shaky breath, he wiped his face and went back to watching the forest ahead of him.

When six hours had passed, he woke Evaline up uneventfully. She sat up, he laid down, and sleep evaded him for hours until exhaustion finally took him.

When he woke up, the sun was up. One glance around the inside of the tree informed him that Evaline wasn't there. Not inside, anyway.

He slowly got to his feet, and took time to roll up his sleeping bag. He tucked it under his arm as he walked towards the exit, and spotted Evaline sitting just outside the entrance.

She was sitting with her back straight, legs crossed, and her arms resting on her knees. Her eyes were closed, and he recognized the meditative stance.

He leaned against the doorway, looking over at his horse, and Evaline's cat. The cat was still asleep, but he knew his Elliot had awoken with the sun.

He thought for a moment, if he waited, how long would Evaline stay focused on meditating before she got up?

They did need to get going... but James was in no rush.

He stood there in silence for some time. Maybe half an hour had passed before Evaline opened her eyes. He stopped counting.

She blankly looked ahead for a few moments as she blinked a few times, and then her back started to relax as she spun her head around to stretch her neck. As she did that, she finally noticed James.

"Oh," she said, clearly caught off guard. "I didn't realize you were awake."

"It's fine," he said. "I didn't want to disturb you."

She straightened her legs as she twisted her torso for a quick stretch, her eyes flicking between James and the entrance of the tree.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked.

"A while," he answered.

She brought her knees to her chest and quickly stood up like a swift acrobatic move. "You can disturb," she said as she dusted down her pants from the dirt. "I don't mind."

James hummed. He minded.

"Alright," he simply said.

Evaline hastily tied her hair back as she walked over to her cat and kneeled down. "You hungry?" she asked.

"Sure."

She glanced at him, finishing up the knot. "You don't sound sure."

"I am," he said. "Hungry."

"Amazing," she said blankly, then opened the bag and pulled out another foldable container and handed it to him. "Chickpeas and roasted vegetables. I didn't anticipate traveling with anyone, so we might run out sooner before arriving at Terra, but I know where we can get more food."

"I have some food of my own," James replied. "On Elliot. You don't have to keep feeding me."

Evaline stared at him for a second, then looked at Elliot. "You came with all your stuff, too?"

James shrugged, and pointed over to Elliot, who had his saddle, blanket, saddlebags and all.

"Seems so," he said.

Evaline stared at the items on Elliot's back for a little bit, and she looked to be mulling something over, but didn't voice it out loud.

"Whatever you want to eat is fine," she said after a long pause, putting his potion away.

"Will that be a problem?" he asked. "Me, having things from Nye."

"No," she said. "I don't see how it could be." She paused for a few moments. "But I guess it depends. Is there something in there I should know about?"

"Nothing you couldn't guess yourself," he said.

Evaline peered up at him, almost looking like she was starting to get annoyed. "As long as nothing screams 'I'm not from this world,' you should be fine."

James slowly turned to look back at Elliot, thinking long and hard.

"I suppose... maps of a different world altogether might be telling," he said.

Evaline was casually sitting back on the ground, eating while leaning up against her cat who seemed to curl more around her and flit its eyes open.

"It's up to you what you want to do with it. Keep it a secret, say it's a hobby to make fake fantasy maps, burn it. Whatever you want."

"A hobby..." he echoed under his breath. Fine. He'd go with that.

"Sure," Evaline said after chewing and swallowing. "And maybe you can write a book called the Adventures of Nye afterwards."

James had to keep himself from laughing again at the risk of looking like he was tearing at the seams more than he already did. His mouth twitched briefly into something reminiscent of a smile, but he returned it to normal.

"Elliot would be the main character," he said in monotone. "The horse."

Evaline let out an amused huff of air, talking again after swallowing. "Name the book the Adventures of Earth instead because Elliot the horse is already the main character here."

James again suppressed a laugh.

"At least he enjoys the attention."

"Yeah," Evaline said as she peered up at him. "Unlike you."

James stood still for a moment, and he slowly blinked, before turning to her.

"Some things haven't changed," he said, watching her for her reaction.

Evaline slightly tilted her head as she held his stare. "And some things have," she said back.

"Your hair is shorter," he said.

"And yours is longer," she said without pause.

"And you have a pet, now," James said without pause. He knew he was stating the obvious. He didn't know how to lead into... anything.

"And you still have Elliot," Evaline jabbed back.

James snapped his mouth shut for a moment.

He wasn't going to say it. He knew she felt guilty, and he knew she was sorry, but the words still sped through his mind.

No thanks to you.

"I see you've taken to more practical clothing," he said instead.

Evaline looked down at herself like she couldn't remember what she was wearing. She let out a small shrug. "I guess so. And you're dressed like..." She then looked back at him, scanning his clothes. "I don't know. Still like Nye, so that hasn't changed."

At least she didn't say farmer.

"Gold. That's what's different. You got more gold so you could finally buy nicer clothes."

Again, he wanted to laugh, but he didn't.

"Yeah, I'm rich now," he said, thick with sarcasm.

"Twenty five thousand rich?"

James smiled, but the smile didn't meet his eyes.

"If I had that kind if money, I'd be dead." And his smile dropped.

"Well," she said. "It's a good thing money doesn't exist here then." She finally looked away, continuing to eat.

"Just people who want my sperm," he said, still deadpanning.

Evaline almost choked on her food, and she cough a couple times before reaching for her canteen and taking a sip. She let out a few more quiet coughs before looking up at him with a raised brow and her lips pressed together.

"You have a way with words," she said. "But in a different way, now. Add that to the list."

"It's all about the delivery," he said, still keeping a straight face.

"Of your words or your sperm?" Evaline quickly shot back, now with a smirk.

"Both," James said with no hesitation.

Evaline rolled her eyes and airily laughed. For half a second, James felt his expression soften, but he corrected it.

"Yeah. Okay," she said with a slight smile as she took another bite of her meal.

James watched for a moment as she took another bite. He didn't exactly want to make her choke on her food again, so he waited until it looked like she was done chewing to speak again, even though he didn't plan on keeping the joke going.

"You still have the same laugh," he said, a little more quiet.

She slowly looked up at him again, but didn't keep eye contact very long. There was an awkward pause as she chose to take another bite at this moment.

He waited for her to chew and swallow again.

"And I have a feeling that yours isn't the same," she finally said, voice hushed but otherwise expressionless.

James wished he knew. His eyes flicked to the forest floor. He didn't want to voice his thoughts. That it'd been a while since he'd really laughed. As himself. Without forcing it. Without pretending. A happy laugh. Not nervous, or afraid, or to fill the silence.

"It's been a long five years," he said, keeping his voice low.

"Some years were longer than others," she said after a brief hesitation, still with the same voice.

"A lot happened," he said, still vague. "...For me."

"Five years is a long time," she continued on as she shuffled the few remaining pieces of food. "I expect a lot happened."

James looked down at the ground.

"Yeah," he said, finding himself at a loss for something more.

"Here's a similarity," Evaline said with a brighter voice, cutting the silence. "Maybe you being on Earth will also give you time to heal."

James glanced over at her. That was a nice thought. But unrealistic.

"I don't suppose there are people with powers that heal in that sort of way, are there?" He said, his voice hollow.

She flicked her eyes over at him. "In a way," was all she said.

James turned to her again, looking down at her. He hadn't meant the question seriously.

"...Well just tell me who to avoid, then," he mumbled. If the healing happened as fast as Elise's powers worked, he didn't want it.

"I doubt we'd run into any here," Evaline said after another bite.

"Good."

She slowly chewed and swallowed. "Angsty," she said. "Took me a little bit to figure out the word."

"Been a while since I've had conversations with anyone as myself," he said, looking into the forest. "Sorry if I'm a little out of practice."

Evaline was quiet for a moment, only glancing at him. "Sorry, I thought that was the alias," she said a little quietly, then folded up her container again since she finished eating. She reached over cat Elliot's bag to put it away and gave her a quick pat. "I guess things really have changed."

James knew they hadn't been having an argument. What they'd had could barely even be called a real conversation, either. He knew he'd given her hardly anything to work with. But he couldn't help but feel like he just lost.

His heart sank. She sounded disappointed.

She was right to be.

"I guess they have," he said loosley, walking over to his horse, and greeting Elliot with a pat on the side.

Evaline didn't add anymore to the conversation as it looked like cat Elliot was waking up and stretching. Evaline was petting her fur and straightening the saddle.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked him. "We've stayed here too long."

James quickly got up into his saddle.

"I'm ready," he said, adjusting his grip on the reins.

It was another day of travel. They had a late start, but Evaline started off with another fast canter-like speed. Like yesterday, horse Elliot kept up for about twenty minutes before he started to slow down. Evaline matched cat Elliot's speed with his, and over the hours they gradually kept slowing down until they kept a constant brisk pace. It wasn't fast, but it was fast enough that it would be difficult to hold a conversation. This went on until sundown, with only brief breaks every few hours so that their animals could rest.



As they traveled, the forest became thicker, more vibrant, and taller. The trees stretched aboved them like giants, the trunk thick and weathered with time. Evaline had always admired these redwood trees, and this was one of her favorite forests to go through. They've lived for over a thousand years and have lived through the test of time, and for that, she admired them.

They did run into some non-hostile critters here and there, but they simply passed them and she didn't pay them any mind. She did note a colorful bird with a long feathered tail that screeched like a child, but she didn't stop or give it much more than a glance. If her time in Nye was considered a standard reference for wildlife, then she doubted James would be familiar with many of the wild creatures here. Luckily for him, the dangerous animals had already been hunted and led out of the safe zones. All other creatures here were only strange at worst.

The sun's golden rays shined through the trees as the sun set, illuminating the winding path ahead of them. It was a little hard to navigate since they had to zig-zag on their animals, but Evaline quickened Elliot's pace so that they'd get to the spot she had in mind before nightfall. It wasn't anything special: another carved-out redwood tree. But she liked its location, and she'd rather they spend the night there.

They made it right when dusk fell, and Evaline hopped down from Elliot, giving her a neck scratch as a way of saying thanks. James tied up Elliot on a root that jutted from the ground, but Evaline didn't bother to tie up her Elliot. She seldom did when she was in the safe zone wilderness. Cat Elliot did sometimes saunter out on her own, but that was mostly to play or to hunt. She always came back, and as long as Evaline didn't leave before she did come back, there wasn't a problem.

The tree camp was more or less the same as the other one, but it was slightly smaller since the tree was younger and had a smaller diameter. Surprisingly, there was some food in this chest. It seemed that someone had done their rounds to replenish supplies.

There was a pan in there for cooking, and she almost took it out, but then decided to pull out the available food instead. If they kept up the pace, she wouldn't need to cook and instead eat what was already available. It worked out rather nicely.

Evaline pulled out some more fruit, some of which were dried, and some were not. And then she pulled out some granola, crackers, and a few other foods from the chest. A little stale, but edible. And of course, she pulled out the glass bottles.

She glanced back at James. "Someone came by and stocked this place," she commented.

James was outside of the tree with Elliot, but when she spoke he walked into the doorway. "Sounds like a good thing," he said.

"It is," she said, closing the chest and then putting the lock back on. Each location had a different combination, but she came to the various campsites often and memorized them. "It means we probably don't need to forage at all."

James nodded slowly. "I assume foraging here would be different here, than on Nye," he said. "At least -- I wouldn't know what to look for."

"Different, yes," she said, finishing up resetting the lock. "Method is the same, but the plants are different. It mostly depends on your environment. Mountains are different than forest, just like how it was different in the outlands."

"Makes sense," he said. "It's strange. The food here... is similar, in some ways. But not the same."

Evaline looked up at him for a second before she slid the items from the chest to the side where she sat. She slid her half closer to her, leaving some space between the two piles in case James wanted to sit.

"We do speak the same language," she said. "The similarities between the two worlds are a bit uncanny sometimes." She looked down and poured the water from the glass bottle into her canteen, not trusting to drink out of the recycled bottle.

James seemed to be looking down at the space she'd left for him like he was contemplating. Or hesitating.

"It definitely is fortunate," he said. "That our worlds share at least one language in common, and we both speak it. If there was a language barrier, I'm sure things would prove more difficult."

Evaline flicked her eyes up at him while she emptied the bottle, and then she set the glass bottle down and closed the canteen.

James was saying obvious things. It felt like an empty statement just to keep a conversation going. She knew small talk when she heard it, and usually she'd not bother, but he seemed tense. He did come from a whole new world, after all. She'd have to reciprocate the same patience he showed to her when she first showed up in Nye, even if it was as trivial as carrying a conversation.

"I did learn a new language in my downtime," she said with a slightly strained voice. "Not that anyone really speaks it here. But there are others like me who were bored enough to learn a dead language. You could probably speak the other languages you know in front of others, and they'd have no idea they're from Nye. They'd just assume it's one of the many lost languages that they don't know the name of."

"What does it sound like?" he asked. "The language you learned."

Evaline paused for a second, studying his face. "Want to hear it?" she asked.

"If you don't mind."

She nodded. "Je ne pense pas que vous réaliserez jamais la quantité de douleur et de blessure que vous m'avez causée."

I don't think you will ever realize the amount of pain and hurt you have caused me.

"And what does that mean in... well I don't think you call it common here, but, what we're speaking now?"

Evaline bought a little time by taking a sip of water, but when finished, she gave him a forced smile. "Nothing, really. I'm not fluent enough since I don't have anyone to practice it with."

He could tell she was lying.

The language she spoke sounded a little like Goulonian, not that it would mean anything to her if he was to make that observation. He thought maybe he could understand a few words, but he couldn't be sure just how different the languages were. Some words meant entirely different things in one language than another.

James looked down at the ground. He didn't know if she would ever tell him what it really meant.

It didn't seem like she wanted to talk. It didn't seem like she wanted him there. On earth.

"Fair enough," he said with a shrug.

A few moments passed, and a silence hung in the air. Evaline sighed, then gestured down at the spot next to her. "Sit," she said. "I assume you're hungry."

He silently obeyed, and plopped down beside her.

About a minute passed in silence, and Evaline was leaning against the trunk of the tree, one arm propped on one knee as she was eating a roll of bread. It was a bit stale, but she didn't mind. James started eating a piece of fruit.

She wished she could better understand James. It was obvious he had "changed" per his words yesterday, and she assumed it had to be mostly related to trauma from bounty hunters.

...Right?

She felt like she had to make assumptions to fill in the holes herself since he didn't seem to want to talk much right now. But it made sense considering his breakdown the very first day.

Evaline sighed.

Okay. She'll carry the conversation. She wanted to give him the same treatment he gave her their first week together.

"So," she said, breaking the silence. "I'm curious. Did you ever reach Lettera?"

James was about to bite into his pear, but paused, bringing his hands down into his lap.

"No," he said. "Not really."

If he didn't make it to Lettera after five years, then she doubted she would have ever made it there with him if she was still there. Maybe her absence was inevitable after all.

"I assume..." she said slowly, pausing. "That you kept going north?"

James started turning over the half-eaten pear in his hands slowly.

"I tried to," he answered. "Kind of gave up after a while, tried again, didn't try, got chased too many directions." He shrugged. "Was trying to go north again before I got here. I don't think it would have made much difference."

Evaline wondered if this was the real James talking or if this was an alias. She had to assume this was the real James now, although it greatly contrasted with the James she thought she knew. But a lot could change in five years, especially if he continued to get chased. Still, she wanted to confirm.

"Your wanted status didn't change during that time?" she asked.

James pursed his lips, still inspecting the fruit, like it was a distraction.

"No," he said, his pursed lips curving into a frown. "I don't think it's about the information anymore, though. Just bitterness. Revenge. Typical of people in power with injured pride."

The information.

Her memory was a bit hazy, but she recalled James mentioning that he was wanted because he stole records pertaining to magic child soldiers. Because he was the walking record.

"I can understand that," she said, tearing off another piece of the bread. "At least you don't have to worry about that here."

He hummed and gave what seemed like a noncommittal nod.

Sure, he didn't have to worry about being wanted for crimes. But he was worried about being wanted at all. Not in the same way.

"I don't know if it's that much different, really," he said, lifting his filter just a little. "My overall situation, I mean. I've never really belonged anywhere. I don't know if I belong here - I mean, I don't. Not really. Because I'm not from here."

He was still playing with the pear. He knew he needed to just eat it or set it down before he started breaking it apart and making a waste of food, but it was the only thing he had at the moment to occupy his hands. If he didn't, he knew he'd be fidgeting with something else more obvious. Fingers, twitching.

It didn't help that he was trying to be himself. He didn't know how to be himself anymore. When he took off a mask, he felt like he was his worst self.

He wondered if he started acting different... more polite, more kind, if Evaline would think he was faking it or not. He didn't know if he knew when it was real anymore either. He didn't really understand himself anymore.

James didn't even know if he was a full person. Just... someone surviving. With personalities in his back pocket.

"I only say that to mean - I don't know. I'm - I guess I'm used to it."

His eyes and eyebrows twitched. That didn't come out right. He shook his head.

"I don't know if that made any sense," he muttered.