z

Young Writers Society


my path to the moon and the stories i plan to take with me



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Tue Apr 04, 2023 4:22 am
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
There's such a comfortable, casual nostalgic feeling to poem 3 that seems like it just captures the essence of childhood - growing up and just being a kid hanging out with friends - I like the style you wrote it in too, with the frequent stanza breaks and colons - it sort of felt more like stilted reminiscing that way - like the thoughts were interrupting themselves as there was so much to remember. Looking forward to reading more! Keep up the terrific work! <3
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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Tue Apr 04, 2023 3:38 pm
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starbean says...



Spoiler! :
@alliyah thank you so much!!! <333
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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Tue Apr 04, 2023 9:58 pm
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LadySpark says...



Spoiler! :
i love love love the octopus poem. I thought you were going one way and you went such a more original, interesting way. Excellent work so far!!!
hush, my sweet
these tornadoes are for you


-Richard Siken


Formerly SparkToFlame
  





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Wed Apr 05, 2023 2:20 am
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starbean says...



4: life haikus
i: volleyball
being a middle
school girl who is unable
to play volleyball

is illegal, though
it shouldn’t be. who cares if
i don’t like hurt arms?

ii: music
not one day in my
recent memory has been
without meanness. but

i go home, and i
poise my fingers above keys
of ivory and

rosin my bow and
disappear into a world
of nothing but song.
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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Thu Apr 06, 2023 3:43 pm
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starbean says...



5: spring is not here


sometimes i forget it is
already april, and that

the cherry trees are blooming early,
and think that maybe spring will come early

and the rain will stop for the first time in five months.

then i remember that it is already april,
and everything is blooming late,

and that it’ll keep raining for
a while.

sometimes i forget that
hard times are still here,

and think that things are getting
better faster than normal and that maybe

good things will come early and
the hard times will stop for

the first time in three months.
then i remember its already

been too many months, and it is taking twice
as long to get over,

and the hard times keep coming and coming.

AND THEN I REMEMBER RAIN IS WHAT MAKES THE GRASS GROW.
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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Sat Apr 08, 2023 1:31 am
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starbean says...



6: haiku musings
i: locker rooms
sometimes i wonder
if people notice my bare back
when we change in the

locker rooms. i’d check
and see, but i hide in the
corner and don’t look.

ii: invisible
sometimes, i could swear
that no one sees me in the
hallways, what with all

of the times people
bump into me and don’t say
sorry, and ignore

me when i smile
at them. then i remember
that hardly any

people seem to like me.
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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93 Reviews


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Sat Apr 08, 2023 2:59 am
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starbean says...



7: looks don’t do much for me now
i can spend a long
time brushing my hair just so,
arranging my clothes

like a princess, but
no matter how i look, they
call me names, don’t stop.

it doesn’t help the
fact that i always drop too
many books and say

the wrong words, and then
mumble and stutter through an
explanation of

what i was supposed
to say. so i stop caring
as much about what

i look like, and then
they point at my old tennis
shoes and laugh at me.
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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Sat Apr 08, 2023 9:13 pm
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starbean says...



8: suns and hope

i don't understand
why we hate yellow flowers
that become wishes.

"weeds" don't normally
look like the sun or give hope
to people who are

running low on it.
leave them there: hope that
fits in your hand is

better than something
you have to keep mowing down.
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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Tue Apr 11, 2023 4:14 am
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :

Oh! That last one is such a poetic observation - I always think that there is certainly something poetic about dandelions and how people hate them so much despite them being beautiful flowers. :)

Also a big fan of that Spring one! It makes me want to write another of my "monthly musings" poems!
"sometimes i forget it is
already april, and that

the cherry trees are blooming early,
and think that maybe spring will come early"


Ah - I like the timidness and confusion of defining spring. Lovely poem again!
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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Sun Apr 16, 2023 8:23 am
DreamyAlice says...



Spoiler! :
I know I am late commenting on your poems but believe me I have been reading them THEY ARE AMAZING! I hope you realize how much of a great poet you are!

poem 7, aww it's so sad. We all are awkward humans and the fact that some mean people still laugh at someone being kind and stuttering is soo horrible.

octopus and hot afternoons are really special<3 and have I not mentioned the cover is so nostalgic and beautiful!!!Keep Writing👍
Imagination is a superpower. Use it well!
  





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93 Reviews


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Tue Apr 18, 2023 3:07 am
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starbean says...



9: you remind me of a tablespoon (so the regular text is for both the italic and the crossed out text, the crossed out text paired with the regular text is the true part of the poem and the italicized with the regular is the analogy of those feelings lol)

the thing about you the tablespoon is that it
you are too busy with others is always getting used
so its always so you’re always away
getting washed when i need you most.

Spoiler! :
@DreamyAlice thanks so much!!!
Last edited by starbean on Mon May 01, 2023 3:03 am, edited 3 times in total.
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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Mon Apr 24, 2023 3:46 pm
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starbean says...



10: summer milestones

i saw the very
moment the cherry tree’s pink
flowers came to life.
Last edited by starbean on Fri Apr 28, 2023 1:14 am, edited 3 times in total.
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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93 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 2211
Reviews: 93
Mon Apr 24, 2023 3:47 pm
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starbean says...



11: back to spring

i hear God crying
on my window and wonder
what happened today.
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  





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355 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 2099
Reviews: 355
Thu Apr 27, 2023 10:01 pm
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LadySpark says...



Spoiler! :
10 is fantastic!!!! maybe my favorite of yours so far!
hush, my sweet
these tornadoes are for you


-Richard Siken


Formerly SparkToFlame
  





User avatar
93 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 2211
Reviews: 93
Fri Apr 28, 2023 12:59 am
starbean says...



Spoiler! :
Thank you so much!!!
she/her————pro-life————Christian————climber of rocks, trees, and rooftops----reader of poetry, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Anthony Doerr
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." -Louisa May Alcott
  








Remember the rain that made your corn grow.
— Haitian Proverb