(or maybe you won't enjoy lol)
People say when your about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. In my case, thats totally not true. All I can see are the small bubbles of air escaping from my lips and speeding up to the surface of the ocean. Fear overcomes me and I fight wildly against the water that was stealing my life from me. Darkness takes over my vision and my lungs convulse painfully. The small remains of life slip through my fingers like smoke.
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I knew that I was dead, yet I felt strangely alive. My body was completely numb and weightless, as if I were floating in space. My mind is blank. I can’t seem to process any thoughts, can’t seem to remember anything. Focusing all my will and power to my fingers, I try to move them. To feel something.
My fingers feel like they haven’t moved in years, stiff and unfamiliar to me. The tips of them brush something soft and smooth.
A flat, emotionless voice of a women blasts through my head. “F58, are you able to communicate?”
My eyes slit open groggily. I blinked a few times before I was able to fully open them, which were greeted by a plain white ceiling. Pain shot through my head, making the white ceiling begin to fade, but I force myself to remain conscious. Memories of my life shot through my head at a speed faster than light. Little to late for the “life flashing before the eyes” moment.
“F58, are you able to communicate?” said the emotionless women again.
I swallowed hard and opened my mouth to speak. “A-am I dead?” My mouth was dry and my tongue heavy.
“Incorrect answer. Are you able to communicate?”
“Yes,” I reply, preparing myself to sit up. “Am I in a hospital?”
“You are able to remember your dream?” The women’s voice was the same, not even going higher at the end to indicate she had asked a question.
“I don’t recall having any dreams. Am I in a hospital? How did anyone find me? It was the middle of the night and I didn’t scream or anything.”
I took a deep breath and forced my body up into a sitting position, squeezing my eyes shut from the stiffness and pain. My spine cracked loudly as I slouched over and let the breath I was holding out slowly.
“Do you have a name?” asked the women.
“Jacqueline Birstmor, but you can just call me Jackie.” I opened my eyes and turned my head slightly to look at the women who I was speaking with and my heart began to pound with horror.
Her skin was translucent, showing all her veins clearly as if they were blue lines drawn on paper. No hair was to be found on top of her head, just smooth clammy skin. Her features were sharp and defined, skin stretched out over them and looking like it might tear. She had no eyebrows or ears, just holes on the sides of her head. Her lips were slightly more coloured than the rest of her. Her eyes were what horrified me the most though. They had sunk deep into her eye sockets and were pure white, with pinpricks of black pupils.
My stomach did flips and quickly covered my mouth with my hand so I wouldn’t puke. Swallowing hard, I removed my hand from my mouth and tried to form words. “W-where am I?” My voice shook horribly and I felt sick. Everything felt wrong.
The creature cocked its head and blinked with clear eyelids. I wanted to run. Run as far away from this thing as I could, but something inside of me kept me sitting down and staring at this thing.
“You’re location is within the Dream Lab, Ward 84, room 61.”
None of this makes any sense. This can’t be happening. This has to be a nightmare of some sort. Yeah, that makes sense. This is just a nightmare. I tore my eyes away from the creature and to my surroundings.
I was in a small plain white room, just fitting the bed that I was on, a small square bedside table and the creature. I was dressed in a loosely fitting white v-neck gown and I checked my hands to see if my skin wasn’t like the creatures, which it wasn’t. It was the tanned skin I remembered having and I still had my short brown hair and ears. I sighed inwardly and prepared myself to look back to the creature, who I noticed this time was holding a clipboard in its spidery hands.
“What is your time living in years?” asked the creature, its lips barely moving.
“Fifteen. My birthday’s April 13th 2004,” I answered uncertainly, confused by the phrasing of the question. The creatures fingers tapped extremely quickly on the board, its eyes never leaving me.
“Do you have parents?”
What a weird question to ask. “Of coarse I do. They’re names are Dave and Loretta Birstmor. Have they been notified that I’m not actually dead?”
“What continent, country and city do you live in?”
“Um.... North America, Canada, Winnipeg, but I’m on Spring Break so my family and I came here to Newfoundland to visit with my grandparents.”
“How did you wake up?”
I paused, confused. “What? Wake up?”
“Sorry. I must have phrased that incorrectly. You are a fresh child. How did you die?”
I swear my heart must have stopped when the word “die” emerged from the creatures lips. My head began to spin, my stomach churn again and my heart try to break my ribcage. My brain was in absolute shock and I whispered,” I drowned.”
--- Opps, I think my narration changes once or twice
sorry about that ---
‘Kay, right off the bat you seem to have some tense problems. Like in the prologue, Jackie goes from ‘all I can see…’, like she’s seeing it 
I might recommend switching the two words just for zero misunderstandings. “I still had my ears and short brown hair.” Take it or leave it. 
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