Short Prologue

19 posts1, 2
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King of the North
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Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:35 pm
King of the North says... · Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:35 pm
The first paragraph really draws you in. It was good. I think it could do with being a little lengthier, but other than that it was great.

Not much else to say. Good job.
“Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.”

Please review War of the Willow - Prologue
All comments are welcomed!
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ashleylee
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Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:09 pm
ashleylee says... · Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:09 pm
Yeah, this is really short. I think prologues should be longer than just one paragraph but that's just my opinion.

Otherwise, I think you have a good start here. I mean, I haven't read any of your other prologues before this one so I can't really compare them (I'll just take your word for it that this one is better :) )

Anyway, I believe you could lengthen this out so that it is longer and maybe squeeze in some more descriptions so that I can imagine what is going on in the scene. I can't really picture your main character from this.

Umm, that's really all I can come up with right now. Keep Writing :)
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach
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King of the North
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Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:32 pm
King of the North says... · Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:32 pm
It was a good read, if not a little short.

I hope to read more.
“Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.”

Please review War of the Willow - Prologue
All comments are welcomed!
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ChloeJade23
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Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:18 pm
ChloeJade23 says... · Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:18 pm

Although this is short I think it is really mysterious, and I certainly want to read more!
ChloeJade23
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19 posts1, 2


You're wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they're better than you are. Sure, they're weak, and they cheat and steal and destroy and disappoint, but they also give and create, and they sing and dance and love. Above all, they never give up.
— Metatron