The moment Schadel put her arms around him James shrunk more into the jacket, pulling his head under so only his eyes barely peeked out. His entire body tensed, but his muscles began to ache with weariness at the energy that required. He turned his head away from the shoulder she rested her chin on.
He didn't return the hug, of course. He wouldn't know how to, with her behind him, and his arms were currently occupied holding the jacket tightly around himself.
Her words entered his ears like a soft whisper of reassurance, but he didn't know how to respond. He knew it was "okay to cry" in theory. It's what he would tell anyone else, but hearing it himself felt like trying to let a stone through a cloth pouch. Nearly impossible.
But when she gave him permission to stay silent, the knot developing in his throat caused his breath to catch. Her question caught him by surprise. He'd only expected her to pressure him more, to pry his sadness out of his cold, dead hands so it could be exposed for everyone to see. But instead, she asked what made him happy.
A mournful whimper escaped his throat as he tried to swallow down his emotion. His eyes, barely recovered from his earlier crying, started to tear up again.
His lips trembled as he desperately tried to hold it together.
"I-I dom't know," he said.
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