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Prayer



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Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:45 am
pandacary says...



I want to say that this scene is about WW2. I don't know a lot about it, neither am I Jewish. If I do offend, I am sorry. I want to say that WW2 was an awful war and tragedy, and that this scene doesn't show any of my personal views of WW2 or Judaism. I'm also probably not going to turn this into something, cause I suck when writing full plays.

Characters

HADARA: SARAH’s abusive mother.

SARAH: Main character. Daughter of HADARA. She is 9-10 years old.

SCENE

Setting

New York, 1940, during WW11. A small apartment. The living room.

Scene opens with SARAH, who is kneeling near a small window, praying in Hebrew. Her mother, HADARA, enters, smoking a cigarette. She looks at her, disgusted.

HADARA: What’s the point in praying? You and I both know your father isn’t going to make it out of the war.

SARAH: It’s still nice to have hope once in a while that he may return.

HADARA: How many people do you honestly think would survive a day in Germany?

HADARA blows out a puff of smoke, and then coughs.

SARAH: I heard that stuff can kill you.

HADARA: Yeah, so can a bunch of Nazis, but people still go and fight anyway.

SARAH: I can’t believe you can say that with a straight face. You know, if dad wasn’t fighting in the war, those Nazis would’ve put him in one of those camps. Don’t you feel sorry for any of those poor people?

HADARA looks at her, shocked. She then smacks SARAH so hard that she falls over.

HADARA: (outraged) Don’t you DARE say such a thing! Just because I don’t talk highly of them doesn’t mean that I don’t care! If you don’t shut your ungrateful little mouth, I’ll throw YOU into one of those awful camps!

SARAH: I think it would be better than living here. I miss dad.

HADARA: I miss him too, but there’s nothing we can do about it. We can only wait.

SARAH: Things used to be a lot better around here when he was around. Remember when we used to run around in the fields back home in Austria? Then we’d go get cookies from the bakery downtown?

HADARA: Those fields are swarming with Germans now, and that bakery is probably destroyed.

SARAH: I don’t like it here in America. I want to go back to Austria. I can’t walk around here and be proud of who I am. Back in Austria, at least I could wear my star of David without getting beat up.

HADARA: It wasn’t much better in Austria, either. Besides, we won’t even be able to go back there after the war.

SARAH: We won’t?

HADARA: You honestly thought we would?

Just then, the phone rings. HADARA walks up and answers it.

HADARA: (on the phone) Hello? Yes, this is her. He is? Are you positive? Ok, I understand. Thank you and goodnight.

HADARA hangs up the phone. She stands there, silently.

SARAH: What’s the matter, mom?

HADARA: (quietly) Your father is dead.

SARAH: What?

HADARA: (yelling) Your father’s dead! A German soldier shot him in the head!

HADARA tries hard not to cry.

SARAH: But he just sent a letter only a few days ago saying that he would come back….

HADARA: Well he’s not coming back now!

SARAH looks at her mother for a minute. Then, she begins to cry.

SARAH: (through her tears) No….. Daddy…… he couldn’t have died!

HADARA: Go to bed, Sarah. Please.

SARAH exits. HADARA picks up a picture of her husband, beginning to cry.

HADARA: (crying) You promised! You promised you’d come back OK. You promised we would live through this. You’re a liar! You left us! You left me! You left Sarah! You left everybody!

HADARA falls to her knees and bawls. Just then, SARAH re-enters, crying.

SARAH: Mommy?

HADARA looks over at SARAH.

HADARA: I thought you went to bed.

SARAH: I couldn’t sleep. I miss dad too much.

SARAH starts to cry. HADARA walks over to her and hugs her.

HADARA: Its gonna be ok, sweetie. We’re gonna get through this.

SARAH: I miss daddy.

HADARA: I do too, sweetie. I do too.

END OF SCENE
Last edited by pandacary on Sun Apr 25, 2010 11:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Sun Apr 25, 2010 5:56 pm
Elinor says...



Hi!

Okay, so I didn't really like this. Is it supposed to be an entire short film or a scene in a story? I'm confused.

This was lacking story wise. I know it's short, but I didn't feel like there was much originality to it-I mean, I kind of knew from the get go that her father was going to die. Also, telephones weren't as common in the 40s as they are now, so they would probably be getting the message via the newspaper.

Also, I don't get why they're Jewish other then for the purpose's of the mother's little outburst. Besides, there weren't that many Jews in America. You can make them Christian Americans easily-the war did affect everyone, not just the Jews.

I also didn't like the mother's character that much. She seemed more like Sarah's friend then anything. She's supposed to be an authoritative figure, but we get someone who is less mature then Sarah.

This can go somewhere, I think, but you would need to make it longer. Covering a topic as broad as WW2 can be a challenge, especially in one scene. Focus one part of the lives of these two characters that you think will help capture how horrible the war was for everyone that will bring a sense of originality and let your talent shine.

PM me if you have any questions.

-Elinor xo

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Thu May 13, 2010 10:34 am
skutter11 says...



This could go somewhere, if you think about it. The dialogue could use a little brush up, but other than that, I think it is a ok script. Just keep writing!
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The best books... are those that tell you what you know already.
— George Orwell, 1984