Young Writers Society

*snort*

Oh, my. That was wonderful. You not only managed to capture Bella Sue and Eddiekins perfectly, but you got the author right as well. As such, I present you with cookies. They're chocolate.

Haha! That was awesome! I loved it!
Especially the part with Edward trying to "dazzle" you. While I was reading the series I always thought that was stupid and you made it so perfect!

Eliza: (Poofs into the meadow in a cloud of purple smoke and looks around.) Um Where exactly am I? I was snarfing down snickerdoodle cookies by the handful when all of a sudden I was pulled into this really cool sci-fi vortex thing. Totally Star Trek. Awesomeness. (Sees Edward and Bella making out.) Ew! Jesus Christ, get a room, will you? (Throws a rock at Bella's head.)

my favorite line! XD

Keep up the awesome work!

*Here we go again* Explosive. Underscore. Pen.... That was *dramatic pause* amazing. I'm such a Twerd, and I loved it! Keep on keepin' on. You're so talented and funny. Your whole first line of Eliza's part was hilarious. Again, absolutely loved it! Good job. Gold star for Splodey! *snuggies*

You should consider making this into a true short film! It would be awesomesauceome.

Eliza: (Poofs into the meadow in a cloud of purple smoke and looks around.) Um… Where exactly am I? I was snarfing down snickerdoodle cookies by the handful when all of a sudden I was pulled into this really cool sci-fi vortex thing. Totally Star Trek. Awesomeness. (Sees Edward and Bella making out.) Ew! Jesus Christ, get a room, will you? (Throws a rock at Bella’s head.)

Edward: Let me handle this, Bella sweetie pie honey bunny. (Walks over to Eliza.) Hello there. Am I dazzling you? Dazzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. (Does some weird Broadway jig and a cane and top-hat suddenly appear at his disposal [in, of course, a cloud of purple smoke].)

=
THIS PARODY IS THE DEFINITION OF LOLZ!

I used o like twilight, I mean, at the time I thought it was written well, but after coming to this site I know that she just had 'F7' at her disposal... Poor, blinded twilight fans. I'll still end up reading the book again, but I now know that you have to strain your eyes to get past all mumbo-jumbo. Anyways, back to your script. I like it... extremely!very funny, and catches to bases of the Twilight characters completely! I was lol-ing! Great job... people should write stuff like this more.

To start off: This is hilarious! Also, you pretty much nailed all of the characters' personalities.

Oh noez! I am a beautifully sexy man-whore for being attracted to you in such a manner! I must run away and ask the Volturi to eat my soul!

this was my favorite line. However, if humping in a meadow is too grown up, would Eliza really use that language? Just kidding...but not really...

Wow!!! I love Twilight and I thought that was brilliant!!! I was laughing so hard!!! You are hilarious!!!

This was...extremely over the top. I LURVE over the top. I am a fellow anit-twilighter myself, so I found this extremely enjoyable.

My favorite part?

When you throw a rock at Bella's head.

I think all the minor grammar mistakes have been covered by other people so I won't bore you with that.

In short:
Very nice. I just wish it were longer.

~Scar

Intresting story it was i like the story line it was good.
But it was definitely not a script for sure. For proper script formating PM and one other thing I can assist you develop a character that could sell for a season film, though am not much into fantansy thing. Intrested? PM me

Loved it! I can relate to the rest of the commenter too, being a not-so-addicted twilight fan, but i seriously loved it!

Edward: Oh Bella! My pretty beautiful honey bunches of oats sweet-smelling Bella Bells Bonanza! Do you not see? I cannot be with you. You simply smell too amazing and I am a monstrous monster who wants to pull a Dracula and suck your blood. Also, I’m over-protective and masochistic.

Lost count of the times i fell of the chair laughing!!

Eliza: (Poofs into the meadow in a cloud of purple smoke and looks around.) Um… Where exactly am I? I was snarfing down snickerdoodle cookies by the handful when all of a sudden I was pulled into this really cool sci-fi vortex thing. Totally Star Trek. Awesomeness. (Sees Edward and Bella making out.) Ew! Jesus Christ, get a room, will you? (Throws a rock at Bella’s head.)

My favorite line, made me cry tears of laughter.

Meyer commits suicide because she realizes how inferior her writing is.

The only line i object to. You could have tried to write something more creative, suicide's been used too much in the past.

All in all it was... extraordinary, Funny, Comedic, Comical, Cynical and and... well you get the point i utterly loved it!!!!!

Great Job!!