Night of the Poorly-Done Impromptu Skits
”Hello? Hello? does anybody here have a microphone I could use?” Silver called out over the gathered crowd sitting down amidst the small, dull-colored auditorium that had been rented only a week ago, just narrowly beating the request to rent the locale for a ballet performance. He was beginning to wish that they had come instead.
The audience continued to talk in hushed, somewhat angry tones, occasionally glaring or staring in confusion up on the empty stage, as Silver impatiently waited. Tapping his foot on the ground, white hair ruffled, he checked his watch. 10 minutes later than scheduled. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know how to drive a car, even if he had offered it as a reasonable and cheap way to arrive (though not with style), nor had it been his fault that they should collide with a lamppost that happened to be in his way. Why he was he being blamed for this…
creak!
He stiffened, a crazed expression flashing across his face. Thankfully, being passed among the audience’s hands, a microphone slowly reached the stage grounds. Silver bent to one knee and picked up the object in relief, sighing as he stepped onto the middle of the stage, spotlights hovering over his head.
“Testing, hello, is this working?” he said as he turned it on, pulling it away from his face when it made that characteristic ear-splitting noise they had a tendency to do. The audience recoiled similarly, with some plugging their ears. Voices of discontent and jeering began to echo from the back, where the YWS trolls had been penned.
creak!
Briefly grimacing once more, Silver ignored the sound over his head and nodded in approval at the microphone’s quietness, not to mention his finally being able to speak. Yet, he hesitated for a few seconds. A bad time to have stage fright, unfortunately, but such was the case, especially in light of the sizably large crowd that had come full force. Pulling the collar of his cheap vest, the fox gulped and mustered the energy to speak. “Hel…hello, everyone,” he began quietly, catching everyone’s attention. The building quietened immensely, and his speech almost went with it. “and…and welcome to the first Impromptu Skit Night event, hosted by yours truly, and the rest of the Storybook moderators.”
“Those of you here were either invited, or snuck in through a vent, window, or through the floorboards. Honestly,” Silver went on, squinting at members of the audience to test their reactions. Most didn’t respond, but a few looked away, and at least one person grinned maliciously, “I bet there are still a few people hiding here. I would like to remind everyone here that we do have severe punishment for anyone caught trespassing, unless you were personally invited by one of the mods, or can bribe them sufficiently. Understand? You’d better have a lot of money with you, so…”
creak!
“…But, back to the topic on hand. You in the former group did, no doubt, receive your invitations and read through them completely, yes? You didn’t look at the first few words and throw the letter away?” Another stare, similar results, though some looked evidently frightened rather than maliciously happy. Silver sighed, shook his head in annoyance, and continued. “Anyways, I’m here to point out that you were expected to bring your own props here, by whatever means necessary. The reason is that most of us didn’t have enough money, and I was accused of being a cheapskate, which is the…”
creak!
“…So we were basically unable to provide any props ourselves. Now, I’m supposed to tell you to have fun and make the most of what you have, but I’m doubtful that many of you are good actors. And we didn’t plan this out very well. I swear, I wasn’t sure what we were…”
creeeeeeeeak!
“…Did I mention to have fun, and make the most of what you have? Since this is on the spot, we thought it would be appropriate to simply have me call up a few individuals to act out a play, skit, or something of the like off the top of their heads. It can be as random and as crazy as you like, so as long as it appeases the audience. And I’m sure you’re all aware that a few select judges will be announcing which act is the best?” Many individuals in the crowd nodded in agreement.
“Good,” replied Silver, now walking around the stage in an almost hurried fashion. He was amazed that he’d been able to speak as much as he did, given he felt terrified and was likely sweating absurdly. But he’d always had the ability to act calm even when he wasn’t, so perhaps that wasn’t surprising. “I’d also thought it would be appropriate if, as a random surprise, we allow anyone to attempt to sabotage the act as they are taking place. For the actors and actresses, that means you have to change plans on a dime, behave in the right manner, and appease the audience while keeping your skit alive.
That’s about it. Those are all of the rules. Simple, right? Now, for the first act, I’m going to call…” stopping and thinking for a few seconds, Silver pointed to a few faces in the audience. “…@Dinosaur, @StupidSoup, and…you…yeah, you with the pitchfork and angry expression. Come on up to the stage.”
As they did so, Silver bowed and stepped away from the center of the stage, happy to finally not deal with his stage fright. “Enjoy the show, everyone! This is your host, who is most certainly not beneath a giant sandbag suspended from the rafters by a rope, and definitely not in any danger of @Lumi’s making sure it falls on him, retreating to the sidelines to begin my ridiculous, outlandish, poorly-conceived...”
creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak!
“I get it, thank you!”
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