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watercolor flowers & other pretty fading things



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Thu Mar 07, 2024 9:48 pm
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alliyah says...



watercolor flowers & other pretty fading things

Image

(watercolor painting by me)


"though the grass withers and the flower fades, the Word remains"

- Isaiah 40:8


This is my eighth NaPo. Everything here has been said already, I am simply walking through my annual habits, straightening over-used words, tending perennials, and yet isn't everything strangely new? The sun brighter, the birds more-alive, and every locust chirping in calculated crescendo.

Isn't poetry interesting in how persistent it is? Long after buildings crumble, and gardens perish, long after the wound has healed and the offense has been forgiven, these little words remain, as if the words could breathe and live on their own.

If you read the Hebrew and Christian scriptures, you know that God was the first poet - could that mean our uneven verses always reach for meaning? The prophet Isaiah says it is the Word, which is persistent, yes even eternal, amidst all the many temporary things we might hold on to.

That isn't to say that those little breaths of air, and turns of tide, and sun-set moments are inconsequential; in fact maybe it is their temporariness that makes them more important in a way. It is maybe the fact that the watercolor flower will not bloom or grow roots which makes her so beautiful.

And I want to write something beautiful. I want to write something meaningful about what might very well be meaningless, if only to keep a folded scrap of paper tucked away in my hand, if only to hold these pretty moments tighter as if they might be anchors, if only to believe that words matter; and there is something here that continues on.

Thank you for reading with me, I will be reading along with you too.
alliyah


GOALS (badge thread)
Write 30 Poems
Read every NaPo thread
Write 60 comments
Keep up with NaPo hosting things
Write 1 song
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





User avatar
1227 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227




User avatar
1227 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227
Thu Mar 07, 2024 9:49 pm
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alliyah says...



Image

1. bird-watching
2. listening
3. tending gardens full of hindsight
4. holding close, for safe-keeping
5. tending to these little living things
6.
7.
8.
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26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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245 Reviews



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Fri Mar 08, 2024 6:14 am
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Spearmint says...



alliyah i absolutely love this title + the images + the vibes !!!
mint, she/her


.--. / ... ...- -.-. .-.. / - .--. ..- .- / .--- --- ...- .--- / .--- --- .--. .-- / .--. .--- .-.. / .--- -.-- .-.. .... -
=D
  





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Fri Mar 08, 2024 9:04 am
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IcyFlame says...



Spoiler! :
*immediately subscribes* the vibes are absolutely on point for this one!
  





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Mon Apr 01, 2024 7:03 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



Mesmerizing painting and congrats on your 9th NaPo Alliyah!
  





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Thu Apr 04, 2024 6:05 am
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alliyah says...



1. bird-watching 4.4.24

Image

Spoiler! :

TEXT:
i am so used to believing people like they are a glass-half-empty,
i am so used to letting lies nest in my chest with all the untruths i tend to believe,
until the spring when i find out every shell is empty, and i am a hollow tree

i am used to running, and running, and running away –
then back again, against my better judgement, if only so i could try to hear
all the syllables of ‘goodbye’ rough-edged and half-imagined and jammed into my lungs
so i might have something to remember this dying season by when i am drowning again

but i am holding all his words like they are the last ticket for the train home
and he says he’s coming with to meet my father -
i am clutching all his words like they are made of hollow bones,
and feathered wings, and the song i’ve been humming all winter long
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 144125
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Thu Apr 04, 2024 6:12 am
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alliyah says...



2. listening 4.4.24

Image

Spoiler! :

TEXT VERSION:
it's that little comment,
and the tilt of your head,
right before you say goodbye,
that makes me think
your 'forever' might mean it.

i have traded that word before,
like a currency that never exchanges right -
i always give just a little too much,
and then realize a little too late,
that words don't always
mean what they should.

but maybe this time;
i am enough.


you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227
Thu Apr 04, 2024 6:41 am
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alliyah says...



3. tending gardens full of hindsight 4.4.24

Image

Spoiler! :

TEXT VERSION:
i want you to know
i see those wilted flowers
poking out of your pockets,
and cupboard drawers, and billfolds,
and eardrums, and fingernails,

aren’t you afraid
all this decay might attract pests,
i ask as i tuck another dried geranium
behind your ear, and into your mouth,
and try to lick an auburn petal
off your jacket without you seeing.

you tell me not to worry, she’s been gone,
for so many years now, so many-many-years,
that you can’t even remember what her voice sounds like,
but still you laugh as you say her name, like it’s forbidden,
like you are still in-love and don’t know how else to say it,
like she’s standing right there and asking why
you are lying to me again; but i know better
than to clean up a home that isn’t mine

so i will bury myself deep in all the cobweb corners
until this place becomes a living flower garden
or a makeshift cemetery.


Image
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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Fri Apr 05, 2024 3:10 pm
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momonster says...



Spoiler! :
hey alliyah! i absolutely love your poetry so far. it feels like a journey of meeting someone and learning about them. my favorite so far is your second poem. i love the idea of someone healing parts of you they didn't break. i always love reading your work alli! can't wait to see how your napo this year grows and flourishes <3
For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.
Romans 6:14 NIV

never apologize for standing up for what you believe in.

previously MomoandAppa, LordMomo, MomoMajesty, and dancingontheclouds
  





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1227 Reviews



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Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227
Fri Apr 05, 2024 4:38 pm
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
Thank you @Spearmint, @IcyFlame, & @AmayaStatham for your sweet comments! I promise I will add some more water color painting or flower doodles some time this month! I have a few ideas of things that would go well with poems. :] but I am enjoying this muted green vibe for now!

@momonster thank you so very much! <3 Glad those themes are coming through; I am looking forward to following along with your thread too! <3


 
4. holding close, for safe-keeping 4.5.24

my mother's voice is saved in the pocket of my warmest coat
for me to clutch when my hands get cold -
i keep it like a recipe-card for a dish i know well;
out of habit i will recite each step as if it were a song -
and i know i don't need it, but i love the little stain at the edge, and
i love each bent corner of a memory;

when we laughed at the river, and she told me not to go out too far -
when she patted my sea-weed hair with a sand-covered towel
and told me next week would be warmer -
i am still looking for her on every shore i swim
and listening, and listening, and in the listening, remembering
the familiar way we have of tending to each other that reminds us we are loved

i called her seven times this week, and it's only tuesday -
not because i am lonely, not because i have anything in particular to say,
but because my hand always instinctively curls around the objects in my pocket
and i am always humming her songs,
and i am always cooking her recipes,
and i am always longing to hear her voice say everything i know all over again -
and i want to let her know
in all these little ways, i love her too.


you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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1227 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227
Sun Apr 07, 2024 12:37 am
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alliyah says...



not counting towards the final count - but including this collab piece by myself, creaturefeature, envy, and herbalhour

0. we left our bodies with the earth 4.6.24

Image

you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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1227 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227
Sun Apr 07, 2024 2:28 am
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alliyah says...



5. tending to these little living things 4.6.24

Image

Spoiler! :
TEXT VERSION:
i have been tending to a peace lily for the last 3 years
and by tending i mean - letting die, and then letting live;
watering, and over-watering, and drowning, and forgetting-again

i have considered leaving her; on a benevolent neighbor's door-step
if only to give her a better chance at a steady life,
but i feel guilty giving-up on such a living-thing
and i think maybe in my lonely dining-room conversations,
between myself and the lily - i have started confusing
the two of us - and whether i am dying, or living,
or if i am watering her, or she is watering me,
and i am afraid that she is awfully irresponsible

but she's all i've got. so we tend to each other
out of parasitic necessity or obligatory empathy.
i am not sure. but i am grateful that lilies are hardy things.


I'll probably make a little painting to go with this one when I have time! :) Also I feel like this is quite similar to "rain-gutter pigeon" from 2020 and my poem about growing an apple-seed on my windowsill from 2019. I'll have to grab links to those two poems later and compare for fun. Something about tending to our plant or animal neighbors, fostering the tending of ourselves. <3

Image
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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245 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 22538
Reviews: 245
Sun Apr 07, 2024 6:54 am
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Spearmint says...



Spoiler! :
ahhhh alliyah your poems are a joy to read!! they always have this sense of wisdom and reflection, and there are too many amazing lines to shout out <3 i will mention one section, though, since it was very relatable:

and by tending i mean - letting die, and then letting live;
watering, and over-watering, and drowning, and forgetting-again

this. i feel this whenever i try to take care of plants, yet you phrase it so poetically :')

i also love the collab poem so much!! it flows as if written by one poet :D
mint, she/her


.--. / ... ...- -.-. .-.. / - .--. ..- .- / .--- --- ...- .--- / .--- --- .--. .-- / .--. .--- .-.. / .--- -.-- .-.. .... -
=D
  





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Thu Apr 11, 2024 9:36 pm
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alliyah says...



@Spearmint thank you so much for the encouragement! <3

quick little rhyming poem.

6. there's this little part of me, i can't quite leave 4.11.24

Image
Spoiler! :

TEXT VERSION:

there's this little part of me;
i can't quite trim, but can't quite keep -
the wilted edge, the feathered peak,
the unhemmed thread, and so you see
i turn and hide, and try to leave
a little here, a little there,
a bit of light, a wisp of air -
maybe if these crumbs collect
there'll be enough
to take this part i cannot stand
and let it be something better than
what i am, and what i was, and
what i mean to be -
because there's this little part of me;
i can't quite trim, and can't quite keep -
and i feel like its heavy and out of place
i feel like i'm unraveling space by space
i feel like this spot is becoming a stain
i feel like it's venom to my heart and brain
i feel like my lungs can't expand
and my feet are barely able to stand
but do i dare leave a chain
that's been woven into my veins
or should i just hold the poison in my hands?
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  








*CLUCKING INTENSIFIES*
— Snoink