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Young Writers Society


A girl called February



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Gender: Female
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Reviews: 542
Sat Apr 06, 2024 12:19 am
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Liminality says...



Spoiler! :
Hey Amaya! You're doing great coming up with all these poems! Just thought I'd pop by and comment on a few of them . . .

2. A Good Chocolate Frosting

Sometimes burnt sugar will come,
But think of it like caramel,


I like these lines! Nothing wrong with burning a little sugar here and there. :D

I also especially like the last lines of the poem:

A good chocolate frosting
On your slice of life


I like how you play with the idiom "slice of life" and put it together with the image of a *cake* slice and chocolate frosting. Feels like giving that phrase a fresh take!

3. Always Ginger Cotton Floss

Never allowed to taste
That dream
Always ginger to
Keep me sane


I like how you expanded on the idea of "ginger cotton floss". Ginger reminds me of herbal medicine (even though you *can* also have it as part of a treat, like gingerbread or ginger snaps). So using "ginger" as a metaphor for reality/realism feels very fitting.

The sharpness
It hits hard
And deep


I also like the sensory imagery here, describing the taste of ginger/ reality as sharp, hard and deep - it makes the idea of a 'harsh/ bitter reality' seem more concrete.

5. Amazing Girlfriends Can Fail

I’m a dancer in
The rain
Daughter of the
forest

I make mistakes
I’m gonna bore you


This part is so interesting - the image of "a dancer in the rain, daughter of the forest" feels very ethereal and seems to contrast the following lines "I make mistakes, I'm gonna bore you" - as though she's saying even the most ethereal things have flaws and a more mundane side to them.

Keep writing, Amaya!
she/her

.
Have you met my friend, The Story Review Template?
  





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Sat Apr 06, 2024 8:53 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



I love it too @CapybarasAndCoffee

~~~

Thanks @Liminality!

"Slice of Life" is also my favourite line of that poem :)

That's true, ginger can also be a treat, but I loved the feel of using it as a sharpness and harsh sth (also bc I wanna go with using the first letter of my NaPo title as a title for almost every poem;) )

The last poem is probably my favourite. I agree with your points there, I didn't even notice that while writing though O.o .

Thanks for stopping by Lim, it's always great to listen to your advice and compliments! <3
  





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Sat Apr 06, 2024 10:05 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



6| All Gods Create Fury
Inspo: Kaz Brekker - “No Saint Ever Watched Over Me”

Image

Faith and Hope
Are my long lost
Sisters

Believe is another one
That died a long time ago

I was told to
hold on
For the Saints would save
Everyone
And me

But when I called out for
help and closure
“No saint ever watched over me”

Where were these Gods,
These saviours,
these so blessed saints
When I needed them?

Where were they
When I begged them

To stop the war my father was going
To start
To take away the pain of
Sleeping on an empty stomach,

To cure the world of
Their reflections and beauty products
To stop the industrials
And cure the earth of
her damaged lungs.

To make me feel loved
Once again

The Gods don’t solve
Problems
All Gods Create Fury

I create my own
Solutions,
Happiness
And
Future

Fate is not part of my family
And Destiny will never be my neighbour

~ Princess February
  





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Sat Apr 06, 2024 11:25 pm
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RavenAkuma says...



Spoiler! :
Ooooh, this poem feels powerful! Nicely done! ^^
~ "I am a writer. Therefore, I am not sane." ~

- Edgar Allan Poe
  





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Sun Apr 07, 2024 8:50 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



7.| A 👩🏻s Choice’s Fictional

Image

Don’t wanna make my choice now
Don’t wanna become that 👰🏻
Just yet

Just wanna live that dream
Just wanna stay in that (fiction)📔 🌍
For now

Not meeting up with 👑 this
Nor Duke that
Not having ☕with Neighbour Chad
Or partying with him.

I’m on the lookout for my dirty fictional secret
Shhhh……

Waiting for that (thief) 💎Dimitri, (bad guy) 🍏Malfoy,
(sneaky) 🪄 Sirius, (supersoldier) US Rogers
to ask me to their Yule 💃🏻

Just want my 💖 to get
(Robbed) 💰 by that criminal in Ketterdam,
Wanna take a ▄︻テ══━一💥for Cadet Blake
Wanna commit a crime with the 💚 Arrow,

Never giving myself up
For a Captain 🪝,
A nasty Red 💀
Or a funny 🃏

Turning down every 💍
Living my life as I want to,
(with 📚as my friends)

🏃🏻‍♀️ towards the face of danger
In order to catch a ✈ with Maverick

Alas, I’m still waiting for that
🎶Directioner to come
And
Take me 🏠 …
  





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Mon Apr 08, 2024 12:33 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



8| A Glamorous Copy Falters

Try to
Unwrite Everything
Without Ctrl Z

Life’s harder that way, right?

But it makes you
Stronger and
Independent

For it’s your tears
And your effort that it took
to be so beautiful

Not coping skills,
Everyone can do that

Doing something
Yourself is
Forever your own
  





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Tue Apr 09, 2024 4:43 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



9.| Settle for it

Never also means forever
Like Hate means love
And Annoying means satisfying

If you say it too much
You’ll get it eventually
And settle for it
  





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Wed Apr 10, 2024 9:06 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



10| I finally saw stars
Haiku

It is in your eyes
That I saw beyond the world
The beautiful stars
  





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Wed Apr 10, 2024 9:22 pm
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RavenAkuma says...



What a great haiku! Love it! :D
~ "I am a writer. Therefore, I am not sane." ~

- Edgar Allan Poe
  





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Gender: Female
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Gender: Female
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Thu Apr 11, 2024 9:52 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



11| How I wish I weren’t that pitiful
Villanelle

I was that ungrateful
When the sun smiled at me
How I wish I weren’t that pitiful

It’s my tears that are pitiful
I was crying couldn’t you see
I was that ungrateful

I wish I was as fateful
As I was free
How I wish I weren’t that pitiful

“My gosh, get rid of being pitiful!”
If I wasn’t that stubborn I would agree
I was that ungrateful

I wanted to be fateful
But I don’t want a tree
How I wish I weren’t that pitiful

I was raised to be cheerful
Not to swim in the sea
I was that ungrateful
How I wish I weren’t that pitiful
  





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Fri Apr 12, 2024 7:38 am
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Spearmint says...



Spoiler! :
i am here for trying different poetic forms!! wonderful job with your poetry, Amaya!! already a third of the way through NaPo :0 :D
mint, she/her


.--. / ... ...- -.-. .-.. / - .--. ..- .- / .--- --- ...- .--- / .--- --- .--. .-- / .--. .--- .-.. / .--- -.-- .-.. .... -
=D
  





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Fri Apr 12, 2024 1:08 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



Spoiler! :
Thanks @Spearmint ! Yeah, I wanted to try out some different forms of poetry :D
  





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Fri Apr 12, 2024 8:56 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



12| TGIF
Prose
Inspired by Grant Gustin - The Flash

The last day of the business week (or as children would say the school week). It’s the day where people grab a snack (like a drive-thru sth) on their way home at TGIF’s because they deserve it. For some it’s the go to go movie night, for others it’s date night after dropping the kids at a friends for a sleepover. It’s the day you DO MIND (i always mind, but okay) sitting in the traffic to get home as quickly as possible. You can’t stop thinking about what you’ll do once you get home.

Friday is the vibe day in my head. This is no normal day, it’s the day I can finally take that heavy backpack stuffed with books off my shoulders and just take the longest shower everrrrrrr. I get to stay up ‘till 1 or three in the AM because I don’t have to worry about waking up early for work or school tmr.

However, this does not mean that I have an entire list with work to do. No, trust me I have work, but then I have that little voice in my head that says….but it’s friday. I agree. It’s Friday, my tiny Freeday (and hey it’s weekend). Let’s take a break from the neverending list of To Do’s. Just take a five for yourself and do sth fun. Sth you think is fun; whether that’s watching a movie, reading a book, watering your plants or reading this prose poetry. And smile :D

Spoiler! :
@WeepingWisteria thanks for the inspo of Prose Poem. I tried it out!
  





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Fri Apr 12, 2024 9:02 pm
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WeepingWisteria says...



Spoiler! :
Oh my gosh, Amaya! I'm glad I could inspire you, and honestly, it paid off ^^ You used the medium so well! I especially love the lines:
It’s Friday, my tiny Freeday (and hey it’s weekend). Let’s take a break from the neverending list of To Do’s.
She/They/Fae

“the wist i knew would never allow a straight boy in their stories” ~Omni
“Hi Omni can I request wist get the role mom friend :]" ~winter
“ah yes, fear Wist's smile :) <- speaks of layers and layers of secrets” ~mint
  








I love her dearly, but I can’t live with her for a day without feeling my whole life is wasting away.
— Miss Kenton, The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro