You are doing amazing so far Blue! <33 I've really enjoyed these poems and reading through how you create them/your thought processes. Good luck with the rest of your NaPo C:
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
I love the twist on the image of the egg [I swear I'm not going to say a single thing about unclassified here] - but like in the initial reading, I thought the egg was prematurely cracked (like for cooking) -> but then as I got to the last lines -> I thought, maybe it's just the baby-bird ready to crack out of the egg. You're able to capture some of the violence/pain of birth in the changing of seasons/growing of life, and it's simple, but also elegant how you're pairing those ordinary images. Lovely imagery, and I'm enjoying reading all of your pieces of poetry so far Blue. <3
you should know i am a time traveler & there is no season as achingly temporary as now
Thanks @fraey <3 It helps me to see things all messy and it helps me to write stuff out by hand first. (But also in this case the bit of poem I sort of got yesterday and the imagery in poem format I wrote back in April are pretty far apart in my poetry journal, so now they're together, which might help when I work further.)
@alliyah my first thought was definitely more of an egg prematurely cracked or an egg damaged in the carton/dropped/etc, but you actually gave me a different direction to go - I'm not even sure my original notes were *really* meant to be all one poem, although that's the idea - so I really appreciate your comment <3
I really like version 3 of your first poem, specifically the second one in the double post - where you placed "some people" in that version seemed to feel like a natural placement to me (of course, other people might like it in other places, so this is just my opinion). Good job on getting two poems done, just two more to go - I'm sure you'll be able to meet your goal. Good luck!
-- "And I love the thought of being with you, or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone." ♡
