I'm really looking for a critical eyes to tell me what needs to change, what is not fluid, and what I can do better as far as descriptions, imagery, tension, and energy go.
Here's my portfolio. I've gotten reviews on the first two chapters, and I've workshopped them with my writing group and my editor as well. The third and fourth chapters, though, haven't had as much attention as the others. Would you mind skimming through the first two (you can review if you want) and get hard on the reviews on the third and fourth chapters? You can do it all if you want, I'm just looking for reviews on the third and fourth.
Thanks!
"If you really want something, no one can stop you. If you don't want something, then no one can help you." ~ James A. Owen
“I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.” — Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
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