~Jasmine Bells~ Peace, Love, Writing, Insanity and Chocolate
I am nothing but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's or maybe like pocket candy that's just a bit too sweet.
This is an extract from my column-based, "ranting" book (Earth And It's Contents) about life's little irratants.
This particular extract is about Indian food and I hope you'll enjoy the humour it has too offer, bearing in mind that the immaturity of the writing is the style of the book. Anyway, thankyou Ben.
It's a kind of like a twisted version of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, actually, with some things added and altered. It's similar, but then again, it's not. There are currently two installations, but I would like you to critique this one. You can access the next chapter through this lovely little link over here: viewtopic.php?t=57528
I really hope you don't mind, but I suggest you read both. I'm having a problem about revelations, erm... how to unfold the story. I'm afraid of information overload and/or too little info about the plot as I go through... also, I have a tendency to mess tenses up. I really think you can help me with all these. Thank you.
"A fish bit my hand this morning, and everything became trippy. Now with this coke and this cherry, I can beautifully rule the world!"
-Dino, @ Dino and Cake's Adventures in La-La Land (Coming Soon)
Well, I keep appearing and disappearing so this thread has never worked as well as it should have.
But now I'm here to stay, and have absolutely nothing to all day but weep at the bareness of my CV, and try and think of a good novel idea, you may as well request reviews.
Apologies to anybody I never got around to in the past. But if you do so now I promise I might do it. Unless I don't want to. But I feel in a critiquing mood for today, so take advantage.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
Title: Heaven Like Hell Genre: Fantasy Target Audience: Teenagers Description: Guardian Angels exist but they're not at all what you'd expect. They're selfish, vindictive and quite often very, very grumpy. With the girl of his dreams dead, Tobias doesn't think he has anything left to live for. He's a whiny teenager, over dramatic to the extreme and doesn't intend on living long. Vince has something to say about that. He's irritable, more than a bit selfish and isn't ready to let some idiot ruin his afterlife.
I feel far more at home writing prose but I'm trying to improve my poetry writing. Any honest helpful advice is much appreciated. Thanks a whole bunch.
If I had wings, I would have opened them. I would have risen from the ground. -Mary Oliver
Could I beg you for a review once more? I think this is one less...god-awful than the other two, heheh. In hindsight (and especially as clarified by your thoughts) those other two poems were very sophomoric, written by me months and months ago. This one's less amateurish, I think. Thanks for being brutally honest, though. It's always helpful!
Just wondering if you wouldn't mind taking a peak at my new chapter to an old story. Here is Chapter 1 for reference, I don't need it to be critiqued as I have already gotten some great reviews and am in the editing process.
I'm working on a new speculative science fiction novella, In Defense of Our Nation, and I was wondering i you would honor me with a critique or two. thanks a million.
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