Young Writers Society

I thought of a story the other day, and thought it would be pretty good. Can I get your opinion???

here it is:

Lucy Cavenshaw is a seventeen year old living in 19th century England. She has grown up in the sheltered life of aristocracy,as her father is a railway magnate and is very influential in the upper crusts of English society.

One day her parents inform her that they are moving across to the new colony of Western Australia, to live on a sheep station in the outback. Lucy is horrified at this thought, and doesn't want to go. She is eventually persuaded by a close friend of her father's, Sir William Cleaver Francis Robinson, the Governor of Western Australia at the time, and Lucy's sort of idol.

Once in Western Australia, Lucy finds out the hard way that life in the outback is a lot different to life at home, from the searing heat and the flies, to the people she meets. The Cavenshaws move into the homestead and sheep station of Girawheen Downs, Girawheen meaning place of flowers. Lucy finds it hard to fit in with the local children of Girawheen and those on the farm. She shuts herself up in the house, reading books and writing letters to her brother Tom, who is at university at Cambridge.

One day, while bathing in a watering hole not far from the main house, Lucy meets Edward McAvoy, the son of the head farmer. Edward challenges everything that Lucy has ever known, from her manners to her society and her choice in books. This rattles Lucy, but the pair end up realising that they are in love with each other.

After a year in WA, Lucy's father committs suicide, and the family find out that the reason they moved to WA in the first place was because Henry Cavenshaw owed lots of money to people, and was running away from his debts. He committed suicide to prevent the people looking for him to kill him and his family. Lucy's mother moves back to England before Lucy can say goodbye to Edward.

Back in England, Lucy is feeling resentment towards her father for lying to them. Not willing to admit it, Lucy is missing Western Australia and Edward in particular.

However, her mother and brother have plans for her, to introduce Lucy back into proper society so that she can find a husband. There are two prospects : Lord Mitchell Rawdon, a good friend of Tom's from university, and the handsome and ever so rich Jeremy Fischer.

However, when someone unexpectedly turns up in London, Lucy's world is turned upside down once again.

That's the main outline for the story, and I was thinking of calling something like Across the Great Divide, even though it's the name of the Silverchair/Powderfinger tour.

What do you think??

That's not bad. I usually base whether or not I'll read a book by the illustration on the cover and the summary on the back. I would read this, it seems like a good idea. One idea for a title would be...uh...I can't think of one. Your idea "Across the Great Divide" seems fitting and catchy, and again would draw me in. I forgot to mention, the title is another piece of criteria for whether or not I would read a book.

this is very nice, a good outline before u even started... i could never do that. whats odd is that i usually dont like stories like this, but urs actually intrigues me. good job!! i would read it, so start writing!!!:D

Oh, yes. Definetly! It sounds great.

Stay sweet,
Courtney -- x

That sounds really interesting, I would definetely read it if you were to write it and post it.

I hope you do, and the title is cool.

Reminds me of Darcy's Wild Life: its about a rich city girl moving to Australlia? The ending seems chaotic but pretty cool, I must admit. Its a good idea, but not my type of story.

From your explanation, you most likely have a good writing style.
But I would not read that! It sounds so cliche and folksy.
And the proper society cliche vs the nice good old farmer thing has been done so many times that by now I want to shoot a farmer.
I hope I didn't offend you--- stories like that just traumatized me at a tender age.

thanks guys, I appreciate it! yes, I know it sounds a bit cliched and everyone, but i think it's a good idea, and as soon as I finish another story, I'm going to start writing it.. I have a bit already, but i'm determined to finish my other one first!

I'm glad you like the title, cos I do too... even though Powderfinger/Silverchair would sue me for using it! It is catchy though!!

thanks alot!

i like it! at first i thought their moving to Australia was a little random, but then you explained it and i felt better about it. go for it and have fun with it!

Quick nitpicky thing! Debts do not die off when people die off in that time period. So, just because the dad commits suicide, that doesn't mean his debt is forgiven. So it might be slightly hard to go back and attract all those suitors, unless an unexpected fortune came about.

But yeah, I would definitely give the story a try.

Yep, I agree! The debts haven't been paid yet, but it is Lucy's mother is delusioned into thinking that she can get Jeremy Fischer to marry her daughter, even though there would be no way that Fischer would marry someone who didn't have money. He's a rogue, he leads both Lucy and the mother on.

However, Lord Mitchell Rawdon, Tom's university friend, is in love with Lucy, and is the type of person that would still marry a poor girl even if his family cut him off.

It's slowly coming together. I'm doing a lot of research on the history of WA, which is quite easy really considering it was drummed into us as little kids (yes, I am from WA)!

I've written about fifteen pages, which is the chapter when Lucy and her family first arrives in Perth, and stay with the Governor before they head to Girawheen Downs.

It's funny really, because I called it Girawheen Downs, without really thinking twice about it. Then last night this whole scene between Lucy and Edward came into my head, and it fits perfectly. The sheep station is situated 20km from the town of Girawheen (which is fictional) in the region we call the Mid West. Now the Mid West, especially around Morowa and New Norcia, is famous for its Wildflowers. Girawheen means place of flowers! Fits perfectly, dont you reck?