Hi, I'm new here. Not sure if this is the right forum...but still.
For several years now I have been trying to work on a book (with ups and downs, mostly downs ). What I have here is an example of the way I write (and describe) things, sort of a bare bones description. The character described is a god (sort of) and I would like someone to tell me whether or not it is a) a good description b) an original one...
A gigantic, black, round chamber filled with mirrors.
Thousands of them and in every single one is a reflection, a person, a life. Someone’s love, someone’s happiness, someone’s misery. Some of them shine brighter than others and some are broken and distorted. In the middle of the chamber is a pile of various objects. Teddy bears with their heads ripped off, crumpled postcards with the words “I love you” written on the front, ripped tickets to the cinema or an concert. The stuff you give to your loved one for St. Valentine’s day. All this stuff is long gone, thrown away into a trash bin by their owners. Atop this pile of rubble is a chair, constructed from pieces of various boats. The kind that once, very long ago, took you into the tunnel of love on some long forgotten state fair. The kind you maybe visited with your first girlfriend what seems to be decades past. The chair was once covered with purple velvet but that has long since rotten and ripped, leaving only the bare bones that loomed over the room as some kind of horrifying skeleton. A man was sitting in that chair. He was dressed in a black coat, all ripped and torn and full of stitches. The buttons on the coat were replaced with plastic eyes, the kind that you see on teddy bears. His body consisted of a whole variety of flowers, all crushed and pressed together. His arms were made of molten candy and his legs consisted of teddy bear filling. The most interesting part about that man was his head, a gigantic heart and in the place of eyes he had golden rings with the diamonds ripped out of them. The mouth was a silver necklace, with hearts split in two dangling from it, a twisted parody of teeth.
The man was lonely, since he has donated his love to the world. For he was the Love God.
Gender:
Points: 2085
Reviews: 48