Young Writers Society

I'm actually thinking about changing the title, because I have no idea what I'm suppose to do for the title
So a feedback and a title suggestion would be nice.

The planet Draxe was created three centuries after Earth along with its fellow friends, the planet Main and planet Alois; Earth was a famous and an unknown planet that only the Creator and his men could enter. Most planets were based off of Earth and its wild imaginations, and that included Draxe. Off in the deep ocean of human fantasies, Draxe has taken the form of medieval fantasy. Dragons, wizards, magic, and kings and queens; Draxe had it all. Nevertheless, Draxe was not a planet to be visited. Inside Draxe was a world of its own; there was no knowledge of the outer space. And if the planet shares no knowledge of space, drifters and travelers were unable to leave—that was the Creator’s law. The planet was the size of Jupiter and had four large islands. And what was being focused on in the story at the moment was the Salalandra continent. This continent has three main powers, or empires if preferred to be called; the White Knight Kingdom, the Sharn Kingdom, and the Romeaon Empire. However, these weren’t the kingdoms that must be told in the story, yet. Out in the far east, away from the Sharn and close to the White Knight, was the small kingdom Exzel. It was where the rumors said barbarians lived, but no, they weren’t any barbarians at all. Exzellians lived according to human laws and fought through human tactics. Those tactics and war knowledge proved to be a powerful weapon for Exzellians due to their limited strength. The day in Draxe was 266 crean. The Exzel Kingdom has lost their recent king and was now in hope of the king’s successor, William. Age of twenty-two, William was a playful and drolly boy, unlike his ancestors, he created conflicts in his kingdom. In another term, his personality and attitude pissed the elders off. The only good thing about him was that he was effective when it came to war because of his father’s knowledge and his spent childhood on Earth. At the time he learned to understand the world around him, he was taken to Earth to visit its dark time of World War II and gain its data on war tactics. Exzel acquired human knowledge as a tribe who made a deal with the God of Time and won. What was the deal? Whoever could obtain the fairy queen inside the Frendel forest would win. Out of luck, the tribe leader outsmarted the God of Time himself and captured the fairy queen along with the finding of an abandoned castle that was now the Exzel Kingdom. With the fairy queen under control, the founding of the castle, and the won deal, heaven was singing for the Exzellians. It was a fair game and the Time of God agreed to become the Exzel’s adviser forever or until they fall; on another note, he was so amazed at the Exzel’s trickery that he decided to break the rules and allowed the Exzel’s leader and his family to Earth. After achieving human information, they build an underground town while keeping the castle and improving it anytime they could. This was back in 248 crean. The small abandoned castle soon grew to a size for a kingdom. The defenses of the castle were beyond anybody’s armies combined. The forest that surrounded the castle and the fairies that have turned to allies made it easy to fend off enemies. No one has breach into the inner forest and has returned yet, and they intended to keep it that way.

“William! How many times must I tell you?” the adviser shouted. “You need a marriage if you want your kingdom to live!”
Young William yawned, rubbing his eyes; it has been two hours of Tyrant’s lecture about the bond between kingdoms. The adviser slightly coughed and suggested, “How about we go to one of the neighboring kingdoms that previous kings and queens married. Those kingdoms surely understand that the Exzel kingdom is not what it’s rumored about.”
The neighboring kingdoms idea would work, or, it will work; the problem that needed to be fix was William’s attitude. He showed no interest of marrying or any interest of the girls from neighboring country. William sighed and asked, “You’re the God of Time right?”
“Of course I am.”
“Then you should know when I’ll marry, when I somehow find the girl of my dreams and marry her,” he theorized, “if that’s the case, what’s the point of insisting me if you already know the outcome?”
Tyrant groaned and explained, “The future can be change at any time, on what I can see right now, you’re going to marry next year; but I don’t know if you might suddenly take an interest of some other girl and change that future. And when I find out the future that I don’t like, I go back to the past and try to fix it. If I could see the exact future and the exact steps you’re going walk as a living body, I wouldn’t have lost the deal from your great grandfather years ago.”
“Then… why don’t you go back to the past and fix that past? You wouldn’t have to be here if you did.”
“It was a fair game, he won by wits and strengths, it’ll be a shame to go back to cheat.” He grinned. “Besides, I enjoy being adviser; there hasn’t been anything interesting these days.”
“Food’s ready,” the chef said and handed the plate of hog meat to the prince and looked at Tyrant. “You know, if you wanted to argue about this marriage thing, maybe you should do it somewhere that’s not in my kitchen.”
“Oh! That’s right, the marriage!” he was reminded. “William! You need to marry! It’s for your kingdom!”
He grabbed a piece of the hog and chewed on it, the prince then gulped down the whole piece and exhaled with delight. “Your cooking is good as always Hal.”
Tyrant was near to bursting his head. “Arrghhh!! Why must you be so stupid?! Marriage is the only way you can become a fully pledge king! Even if you reach the age of twenty-three, you’ll be just a queen-less king!”
“Well you know, what’s the point of having queens anyway?”
“What?” both the chef and adviser gasped.
“While I was on Earth with you, I noticed how the queens basically do nothing except sit besides the king and look good; I never see them do anything else…”
The god and chef eyed each other as they tried to answered, “William, that’s basically a queen’s main job. If you find a faithful girl, she’ll help you with many things—”
“Like what?” Young William pushed further.
“Like…” Tyrant quickly searched for the things queens do. “Like relieving stress!”
Maybe that wasn’t the best reply.
“Relieving stress? How?”
Hal snickered and tapped the adviser’s shoulder. “You got yourself in some deep trouble here, oh mighty God of Time.”
“Oh be quiet! Now, William, once you’re finish eating, we need to go to the Ein kingdom to discuss about marrying one of their princesses.”
“I still don’t understand why we need queens though.”
Tyrant needed to slap himself, he really wanted to. “Sometimes you might make too much money from taxes and sometimes making too much money is bad. That’s why you need queens because she’ll just spend those hard earned money.”
“Hey, are you taking that from my wife?” Hal growled.
“That’s all I can think of at the moment! I mean, she brought all those stuff yesterday!” he chuckled. “Wasted all your drinking riches!”
The prince finished his last piece before finally deciding to go. “Alright, I’m finish; I’ll go with you now, adviser.”
“Are you being serious or are you just going to run away like last time?”
“If it shuts you up, then yes, I am being serious.”
“Oh thank the Creator!” he smiled and quickly rushed out of the kitchen. “Julian! Julian!”

“Guess I better go get ready then,” William mumbled. “Thanks for the food, Hal!”
“No prob, now get out of my kitchen.”
Young William had no problem showing kindness back to the chef who would rather hate his guts rather than loving him. He was a good cook. William got out of the kitchen and ambled onward to his room. When he got to his royal room, he hopped to his dresser and rustled through his clothing. Inside the messy, unorganized clothes, William noticed a suit on the bottom—covered down by his new suits—and took it out. He gravely stared at the seventeen year old outfit and wondered, “Why do I still have this?”
It was a piece of memory he didn’t want to talk about, but it was something he wanted to keep to remember. It was the first Earthly outfit he ever worn, and it wasn’t a bright time when he came to Earth. Or actually, it wasn’t a happy place anywhere he went on Earth. William threw the suit to the bed and heard a voice.
“Where are you going, Will?” it was Anna, the prince’s fairy.
She was within the bird cage that Will brought to capture her. It has been ten years since that capture. Though she wasn’t trapped completely, the door to the bird cage was open and she had the freedom to leave anytime. It seemed that she liked the feeling of being fed instead of searching for food. Will smiled and picked her out of the cage, saying, “I’m going on a trip with Mr. Adviser, you want to come?”
“Outside of the forest?” she worried.
“Yeah.” Though William didn’t seem to worry.
“I can’t go with you then, outside the forest is a scary place, Will. They’ll capture me and sell me for gold!” she shivered.
“Don’t worry, Anna, I won’t let them get you; besides, as long as you stay within my breast pocket and not stray off anywhere, you’ll me fine.”
It reminded the prince; he needed to find a pair of shirt or anything for his upper body that has a breast pocket. He released Anna from his grasp and let her float. She soared next to his cheeks and leisurely rest on his shoulders. William’s face brightened when he found the one he wanted. Anna, however, pouted hers and asked, “Why do you take your time seeing which clothes you’re going to wear?”
“Is there something wrong with that?” he was oblivious.
“You’re such a girl when it comes to fashion!” she shouted out the truth.
“What’s wrong with that?” he pondered again.
“It’s just that you have a better fashion sense than most girls,” she replied with air in her cheeks, flushed.
It was hard to admit, but Anna was right. Going to Earth and seeing their fashion changed the prince. Before he went, he picked out anything he got at first grab and wore that; but after he went, it took him at least half an hour to decide. He was also the one that selected Anna’s clothes.
“Just because you got educated from Earth doesn’t mean you can use me as a dress up doll!”
“I’m not,” he rejected, “I just recommend some outfits whenever you have trouble deciding and you always agree when I evoke it. I don’t forcibly take off your clothes and shove new ones on. That would be disgusting!”
“Hm, true.”
“And I don’t even touch then, the fabric made for fairies are so hard not to tear by a single hand.”
“Yes, yes, I get you now.”
He sighed and got changed to a basic light brown peasant shirt and dark brown pants. “Look at me, Anna; do I look like a normal peasant and somewhat not a barbarian?”
She nodded and asked, “Why are you wearing that?”
“I don’t know,” he answered and shrugged. “I just feel like being a peasant today.”
He grabbed the thick strings on the end of the pants and tightened it and did the same thing with the other end of the pants.
“Where exactly are you going, Will?”
“I’m once again going to find marriage.”
“Wearing that?”
“They say that love does not rely on what you wear, unless you wanted me to wear like a barbarian instead, I have no problem with that.”
“Dressing like a barbarian seems better than wearing like a peasant. Princess don’t like touching a man who looked like he hasn’t shower in days.”
“Well you don’t get to choose what I wear! I’m sticking with this! Ah ha!” he laughed.
“Oohhh,” she growled. “Why you asked if you were going to do that?”


“Julian! Julian!” Tyrant yelled, ambling toward Julian’s room.
“You needed me?”
“Yes, I’m going with William again to try to bond with another kingdom.”
“Ah, so you’re going to be needing me to watch over the place again?”
“Yep.”
Julian sighed, taking the temporary position and said, “Alright, Pelican better come back with a queen this time.”
“He better.” Tyrant glared. “Oh, since I told you the message, I’ll be heading off to William now.”
“Nice chatting with you.” Julian went back to his paperwork. “It’s good to have a conversation once in a while, even if it’s only for a few seconds.”
“Indeed.” Tyrant nodded and left.
Julian was the commander, or first knight, which left him in the position of king if anything would ever happen to the king.


The adviser advanced to the prince’s room only to find out he decided to wear a rather odd fashion. “You’re seriously going to a kingdom and find a worthy princess in drags?”
“Not drags, peasant rags,” William corrected.
“Whatever.” He shrugged it off. “Are you ready to go?”
“One second.” The prince snatched the fairy and hid her in the compartment of his breast. “Okay, now I’m ready.”
“Why are you taking Anna with you?”
“Because I want to.”
“Fine, whatever.” Tyrant wanted to get out of the castle and outside the forest before the prince changed his mind. “Let’s go.”

William trailed behind the adviser as he took out the two horses from the stable. Handing him the one on the left and hopping onto the other, Tyrant trotted away. And like that, William tracked his adviser beside him. Anna anxiously waited for them to brisk walk out of the forest. During the departure, William turned to Tyrant and queried, “What happened to my father and his? I mean, my mother and hers are still here and yet my fathers died.”
Tyrant grimly gazed straight ahead and said, “They couldn’t handle the knowledge of Earth and ended up dying of recurring nightmares, or heart attacks if you prefer.”
“What do you when they couldn’t handle it?”
“This is a side effect when coming to Earth; humans are filled with so much sin that if anybody that isn’t human or a guardian of the Creator will be mentally tortured because of the overloading sins crawling into their skins. That’s why Drasil, the Creator, refuses to let any other of his creations travel to Earth. Your mother and grandmother never went to Earth so that’s why they aren’t dead yet. I don’t know about you, though, it seems to not have an effect just yet. Maybe it’s because I didn’t show you the battlefield as much as your fathers.”
“It might be, since most of the time, you showed me society instead of war. I had to read my father’s war tactics to learn.”
“Either way, you learned the tactics, right?” he grinned. “That also reminds me, Anna, how’s the queen been doing?”
Anna popped her head out of Will’s pocket and replied, “She’s dead.”
“What?!” Tyrant gasped. “I can’t believe that I didn’t even notice! Gosh, I need to look at the time a lot more.”
“Yeah, like… last week, her daughter took up the position. She’s a lot less grumpy than her mother, probably due to her age.”
“Ah, the queen’s daughter, what was her name again?”
“Fyre.”
“Fyre, eh?” Tyrant smirked.
The fairy glared at Tyrant and growled, “You better not mess with her like you did with the last queen.”
“Hey, you guys were captured and is in force allies with the Exzels, you have no room to complain. I can go and scare her anytime I want.”
“Oh no you don’t!” she snarled, trying to leave the resident of the pouch.
“Calm down, Anna.” Will chuckled, patting her back in the pocket. “Anyway, we’re almost out of the forest.”
When they did leave the forest, a gold encrusted white carriage caught his attention. He watched the beautiful pallid horses jogging on the dirt walk way. It was the first time he ever saw anything that was all white, except for the wheels. He smiled at the carriage, then at Tyrant as he questioned, “Whose carriage is that?”
Tyrant seemed worried as he responded, “That’s the carriage of the White Knight Kingdom.”

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Though there aren't any stories connecting to each other right now, I'll just say it anyway, I like to connect my stories together (thus meaning some other stories might say or relate with another of my story). So you might be a tad confuse about the whole planet and Earth thing, but not to worry! It will be answered... later.

Haha, yay for boring first chapters mostly about the details?

I don't think the blob is necessary at all, except for your own private notes. I mean, it's what we call an "info dump." Basically, that's when you give off this big blob of information at the very beginning. Except, rarely it's ever necessary. For example, you talk about the separation of Earth and such throughout the entire chapter. Except, with the big blob of text, it tells you everything out right (or at least a lot of things out right) without letting us ease in the subject.

If it helps you, think of writing as a kind of strip tease. You don't just take off your shirt and BAM. The goods are revealed. That's not teasing, and more often than not it's completely overwhelming. You need to do things slowly and then things get better and you can go to the next thing, whatever the next thing may be.

Speaking of which...

Okay, when you're talking about relieving stress, you're talking about sex. Everyone knows this. So, why is there all this mystique involved?

Also (and this may be the militant feminist inside me talking) aren't queens good for anything else? I mean, he uses Anna as a companion and adviser of sorts. Why is it so weird for a queen to help out her husband? I think William would understand this sort of thing... or maybe fairies and women are so different that it doesn't matter.

Anyway! With all that said, it will be interesting to William get a girl in these rags, and I'm quite looking forward to seeing that turn out. I don't know about you, but I like a well-dressed man, so I think he's going to find a little bit of difficulty...

Still, I think he should get with Anna, lol! They seem to be a good couple... albeit a weird one.