The Widow Queen is not my creation. This story is entirely mine, because I wrote this for a contest. The character of the Widow Queen belongs entirely to a website called Puzzle Pirates. If you would like to see the article on her, click here.
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The night was peaceful and still. As the residents of the city slept warm in their beds, Evalynn Glass bolted through the dark and decrepit town, her deep orange hair flowing behind her like fire.
“Thomas,” Evalynn said with a laugh, “You’re really too much.”
A tall boy with unkempt dark hair smiled and grabbed her hand. “Keep quiet,” he said. “I don’t want anyone interrupting what I’m about to show you.”
Evalynn raised her eyebrow and increased her stride so she could keep up with Thomas’s fast pace. “Are you sure it’s all that grand? We certainly have to go very far to reach it!”
Thomas did not have time to answer her question. They had arrived at the edge of the town, where a small stone staircase led to the beach below. They descended it, and Thomas pointed to a section of willow trees where the branches parted to form an opening.
“In there,” he said.
Evalynn sighed and took his hand, allowing him to lead her into the tree. As the gentle ocean waves flapped behind them, Evalynn was absolutely shocked with what she saw. It was quite a large space, with rose and lily petals gracing the ground. There were two embroidered pillows lying by the trunk of three; the moonlight came through the branches, to shine perfectly upon the pillows, as if seeming to urge the two to come and sit. They obliged.
“Do you like it?”
Evalynn was on the verge of tears. “Thomas, you did this all for me?”
“What can I say? A beautiful girl like you is hard to resist. I thought you deserved a grand evening such as this. Actually, there is something else, too.”
Evalynn paused as Thomas got a wrinkled piece of paper out of his pocket. “I wrote this for you,” he said, handing it to her. Evalynn started reading it.
This girl beside me
She’s got the beauty of a goddess.
Her hair is like the sun.
Her eyes are like the forest.
I see in her, something very special.
She’s unlike other girls.
So graceful, so lovely,
Next to her, Aphrodite is ugly.
Evalynn Glass,
I love her so much.
She’s my lovely little goddess.
She smiled, tears flowing down her cheeks, and Thomas leaned forward to kiss her. Although it was their second kiss, this wasn’t just a tiny peck; it lasted for several moments, Evalynn savoring each one. She was happy to have found a boy as perfect and sweet as Thomas. She almost felt unworthy of his affection.
However, their kiss was interrupted by what sounded like a large crash in the distance.
“What was that?” Evalynn asked, worried.
“I don’t know,” said Thomas. “It’s probably nothing—there might be a storm brewing outside.”
The crash sounded again, this time much louder. “Thomas—” she said. “Please, something isn’t right.”
He laughed. “Relax, Evalynn. It’ll be okay. Just put your head on my shoulder.”
“Thomas…”
They heard the noise again. It was much louder now-followed by an indescribable smell which Evalynn recognized as smoke.
“Thomas! Let’s get out of here! I think someone is attacking the town!”
He paused for a minute, then grabbed Evalynn’s hand.
“You’re right. Let’s go.”
They bolted out of the tree, trying to find safety. However, they were stopped by an ugly man with a pistol and tattered clothing.
Evalynn screamed.
“You’re quite pretty,” he said to Evalynn, his voice gruff. He leaned forward to sniff her hair, but she slapped his hand away.
“Get off of her, you scum. She’s mine.”
“Aww,” he said, “So you’re a couple. The funny thing is that my captain has been searching for a young lady to stay aboard his vessel. Unfortunately, I can’t have you interfering.”
The man fired his pistol into Thomas’s forehead. Evalynn cried out in horror.
“Shh, my dear. Nothing we can do about it now.” He tried to place his arm on Evalynn’s shoulder, but she punched him in the face.
“YOU KILLED HIM!” She screeched.
The man simply laughed, trying to restrain her. He was able to pin her to the ground and handcuff her. She spat in his face, but this only made him laugh more.
She wanted to scream, tell him to go to hell, but Evalynn was afraid that he would gag him if she did. A monstrous vessel soon came into view. The sails were dirty and tattered, the many guns jutted out of the sides, and of course, there was the Jolly Roger, black as midnight.
The deck was deserted except for the captain.
“I told you to find me a beautiful young woman,” he said, “and you didn’t fail me.”
Evalynn scowled. “If you think you can mindlessly use me a sex puppet, you are very wrong indeed.”
The two laughed in unison.
Evalynn then decided that she had to do something. She could steal the gun and shoot the two. She saw it, in the pirate’s pocket. She tried to lunge for it, but he caught her and smacked her hand away.
She did not expect what was coming next. He took his gun and shot her in the eye. Evalynn cried out—the pain was unimaginable. Blood started pouring out of her empty socket and onto the deck.
With her last bit of energy, she was able to grab the gun and shoot the two. Smiling triumphantly, she found a cloth and dabbed it over her eye. It would work—for now. Things would change from here on out. Evalynn would gather her own crew, sailing the high seas to avenge Thomas’s death. Most importantly, she would fashion a new name for herself—The Widow Queen.
Before she left the vessel, she spoke the bodies of the pirates whom she had killed.
“"What your hold needs is a woman's touch. You'll get that at least, as we can't go about taking every bit of treasure you have without actually touching it."
I'm very interested to see where this story is going--this is a very eventful beginning and that can work well for this. It's coming along-- a lot of your dialogue is working nicely, which I'm glad to see! You seem to have a lot of interesting characters, and I'm just going to address one or two things.
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