Corrupt A Wish [4]

Granted, you are now asleep forever.

I wish... More than anything... More than life! I wish our next musical was into the woods.

Granted, but no one likes the musical you put on



I wish, the Harry Potter story was true and that I had fought in the wizarding war against Voldy.

Granted, you are now Fred Weasley.

I wish I could speak and understand every language in the world.

Granted but gibberish isn't a language! a;lkejro;uerhn.zdfvhqieruhfj.ldfhgpq9eoifkjnkdfigwoe;rfjsdiprtghlaeyhgloeriugh!
I wish society would just be realistic... For god's sake...

Granted, but now everyone acts like they're on a reality TV show, complete with the looks towards nonexistent cameras and rants in empty rooms.

I wish that I could gain the powers of an ancient deity.

Granted! You are now Bes and you scare evildoers away with all of your ugly!

I wish I could glare daggers without looking like a derp.

Granted, except you look like a nerd.

I wish I had my own printer.

Granted- But it only prints in neon hues.

I wish Slytherin and Hufflepuff didn't have misleading stereotypes.

Granted, because you drink a bunch of energy drinks, but then you drink too many, and you die.

I wish I didn't hurt all over.

Granted, but your best friend hurt so much they died.

I wish people would stop thinking I'm naive and/or creepy.

Granted. They now know for certain that you're naive and/or creepy.

I wish school would just end already.

Granted, but you now must face the world of adulthood, pay taxes, and find a job.

I wish for food.

Granted! You now own the entire collection of poisoned food from all space and time!

I wish I could focus on just one writing piece.

Granted! But you are so focused you can't eat, sleep or even breathe!

I wish for more wishes...

Granted, but now the wish-granter has poofed into thin air at the sheer unoriginality of your wish, and is no longer able to grant any subsequent wishes.

I wish I wasn't so needy.