Los Angeles

Nic

I pause, watching her grab a knife and lock the door behind her. Alarms go off in my head, and I turn away from the door and head for her room. Knocking lightly, I swallow and wet my lips. I close my eyes before speaking.

"Jacks, I'm sorry," I say. "That... was a*sh*lish of me."

Jackie

I don't answer and keep the door locked. I clock myself in my closet as well, just staring at the blade as I cry.

Nic

I inwardly groan and shake my head. She won't do anything, will she? She won't hurt the baby, at least. Doing anything to her would hurt the baby. She doesn't have it in her. I know so. I hope so.

"Jackie, let me in," I plead, opening my eyes, "or I'll come in myself."

Jackie

My thoughts overrun his pleads and I breathe heavily, my makeup running. I jam the blade into my thigh and my face goes pale. My eyes tear up once more and I close my eyes, surprisingly liking the pain. Something like this takes away my stress. But then there's the blood. I freak out and pull it out, trying my best to man up. I lean against the wall and close my eyes again, biting my lip to ease the pain.

Nic

I curse mentally and disintegrate. When I reappear beside her, I find her thigh bleeding and the knife discarded to the side. Swearing aloud, I grab a random article of clothing and use it to help stop the bleeding. I press it against her wound and wrap an arm around her to keep her standing.

"What the hell, Jacks?" I ask.

I made you do this?

Jackie

"Get away from me," I breathe, struggling but not having enough energy in me to push him away. My eyes are barely open and I swallow, my mouth dry.

Nic

I almost narrow my eyes at her, get angry; but the frustration seeps out of me in one breath. She did this because of what I said. I pushed her this far.

"No way in hell," I say.

My voice isn't calm. It doesn't show much emotion, at all. If anything, sadness slips past my tongue and guilt bleeds into my eyes.

"Just stay still," I order. "You'll bleed out if you don't let me help you."

Jackie

"I don't wanna be near you, so I'd...I-I...I'd rather b-bleed out," I breathe, my eyes heavy. My skin goes pale and I set a hand on my stomach, gasping and trying to get air.

Nic

I try not to wince at that, watching her carefully instead. Supporting her still, I press down harder on her wound and try to speed up the process. Slowly, I lower her to the ground and lean her against me. She doesn't have the strength to push me away, so I have no fears about that.

When this is over with, maybe then I'll leave.

"Then it wouldn't be just your life you end. It'd be the baby's too," I remind her. "You don't want that."

Jackie

"But then it's remind me of you," I wince as he presses harder and breath heavily, trying to get out of his arms. I'm crying now, frustrated, and feel like one of those cats tht can't get out of their cage. Suffocating...

Suffocating...soffocating. That's what it feels like. I gasp again and my vision blurrs. I now feel like I'm underwater and I can't breathe, so I hold my breath.

Nic

"Calm down, Jacks, please," I beg, bringing a hand to the side of her face. "I'll freaking leave once you stop this crap. Deep breaths."

I ease up on her wound, hoping maybe the pain will snap her out of it. My eyes don't move off of hers, and my heart beats heavily in my chest.

Jackie

I let myself breathe and my eyes close on me before I relax, falling uncontious.

Nic

I sigh of relief, although I still feel myself as tense as ever. It's not over, I know, but at least she's breathing. I keep pressure on her wound and lean her head on my shoulder. Cradling her almost, I set a hand on her stomach and stroke it through the fabric with my thumb.

Fathers don't do this. I can't be a father if I'm going to keep doing this to her.

She doesn't want me anyway.

Jackie

The baby kicks, and surprised because its really early. must mean that we have a early date...

I swallow and bring a hand over his, not realizing it.

Nic

The baby kicks beneath my fingers, and I can't help but smile. She moves her hand over mine, and I hesitate before switching so that my hand is atop hers. I subconsciously stroke the top of her palm with my thumb, pressing my lips against her forehead before resting my chin atop her head.

But I can still try, right?