Los Angeles

Nic

She just walks out, and I hesitate a moment before following. The paparrazi pass her right by and flock to me, and I realize there's nowhere in public I can go with her and have an actual conversation. So I turn in the opposite direction and lead them away, giving her the space I guess she wants.

As I walk, I keep a straight face and slip into my thoughts. I ignore their accusations and questions and instead focus on the thought of being able to be like Jace was with Rayah. What do I have to do to get that?

Jackie

I go to a little cave that Rayah showed me when she was little and sit down. My eyes wonder across the stone and I let myself cry. Whatever happens, I hope she lives. I can't live without my only sister after Vanessa died. Too many people I love have disappeared and I can't have one more person pass.

But that also means Nic.

But then my mind wonders to Jace and Rayah. They have something different then we do. Something I want with Nic. But I doubt that'll happen with his job. But family comes first, right?

Nic

I duck into an alley and disintegrate before they see, ending up back at the hotel. Taking a deep breath, I collapse on my bed and stare up at the ceiling for a while. My thoughts take several different directions, but eventually end up on Jackie again.

What am I supposed to do?

She doesn't like this life of mine, so the obvious thing to do would be to retire or just change it. But do I want to give all that up?

Hell, what kind of a question is that? Between what Jace and Rayah have and the life I have now, I'd be an idiot to choose the former.

Jackie

I stay there for the whole night, not eating, and don't plan leaving at all until I pull myself together. I just stare at a wall and think about random things, still not able to pull the fact that Nic cares more about his career than me.

Nic

I change and try to disguise myself the best I can before heading out again after night falls. At first, I just wander the streets, but then I start picking out faces and trying to find the one that belongs to Jackie. Halfway down the road, the same memory from before decides to jump before my eyes, and I find myself clutching onto the anxiety it causes.

Charlie had started shouting, barely heard above the crowd. Jace had supposedly started crying, screaming for someone, but I couldn't hear that either. When Charlie finally reached me, told me what was going on, I caught sight of Jace being toted off in the opposite direction.

But then he disappeared. Time came to a slow, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Charlie tried to calm me, quickly getting security on the phone, but I didn't listen to him. I bolted out the way I saw Jace go, ran around in circles for what seemed like hours, and finally came across the kid fighting against his kidnapper the best he could.

He was surrounded by light, blinding light, but all it did was stun the figure. I didn't tell him to stop; he did when he saw me tackle the guy to the ground and punch the crud out of him. Even when his eyes were closed and blood had trickled out of his mouth, I didn't calm down. I didn't pull Jace to me right away, either.

I slapped him first, scolded him for leaving Charlie's side, pulled him into a hug, and made him promise to never do anything like that again. Somewhere along the way I stopped acting like his father, and he started acting like mine.

Jackie

Starving, I lie down and allow myself I drift into uncontiousness. I can't hear anybody but feel better than I could. I take a deep breath and let the cold infect me, causing me to shiver and hold onto someone that isn't really there.

Nic

I pass this cavern, and the heightened state of my anxiety forces me to stop. Just looking in, I think to continue on by; but then something nags at the back of my mind. I ignite my hand carefully and walk in with a makeshift blue lantern. At first, I see nothing but rock and I expect to turn around.

Then I see someone shivering, and I know in an instant who it is.

The light extinguishes on its own, and I drop beside her. I don't touch her at first, allowing myself to fully calm again. When I do, I shake her gently and proceed to take her in my arms.

"Jacks, wake up," I whisper.

Jackie

I don't wake, tired, and bite my lip before shivering more. Someone takes me in their arms and I cuddle into them.

Nic

She doesn't wake, so I stop trying to make her. Instead, I just sit with her in my arms and try to warm her up the best I can. Part of me wants to take her back to her house, check on Jace and Rayah, but the other part knows she would probably want to stay here. So I don't move her.

I slip out my phone after a while and text Charlie, tired of thinking. My decision lies in the text, and I hope it's the right one.

Jackie

I shiver once more and cover myself up, opening my eyes, "W-What are you doing?"

Nic

I glance at Jackie and flash a smile. Before I answer her, I slip my phone away and silence it so I won't know when or if Charlie replies. He'll only nag anyway.

"Making a decision," I tell her.

Jackie

I study him more, sliding out of his arms and against the wall, "What decision?"

Nic

She moves, and immediately I feel colder. I study her a few moments before clearing my throat and looking away. As I glance at the floor beneath my feet, I tap out three beats on the sole of my shoe. Then I allow myself to respond.

"I canceled tour," I say.

Jackie

"Your kidding me," I sigh, "Un-cancel it, Nic. You have lots of fans that depend on you. You can't just let them down. I'll be fine," I tell him, bringing my head to my hands.

Nic

Shaking my head, I run a hand through my hair and release a frustrated sigh. I close my eyes and ease my temper. Once composed, I allow myself to look at her again and move closer. I take her hands in mine and make her look at me, hysterically half-smiling.

"I don't know what you want from me," I whisper. "You tell me you're sick of the life I lead, so I stop living that life. I take the first step, and you tell me to turn back around. I don't... I don't understand."