Open arms are prison cells

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We lap ,
like dogs, the salt out of the wounds.

covering mine and your lips nearing mine,

Mine, mine, mine. Ick
I wish you could know how,
sitting in this too-small recliner with your shoulder
covering mine and your lips nearing mine,
I loved the sun and salt and even your waves

This isn't clear. I know you meant "I wish you could know how..(here)...I loved the sun and salt and even your waves." But the wordiness, especially with "even", cuts back at the flow.
in-between bubble gum kisses

valley-girl.

I loved this. At least you've written.
Carpe Diem.




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How dirty...

Still! Pretty good! Talking about the triangle thingy?
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Ah, the old Brad is back (yes that's a good thing....sort of). As long as your whininess doesn't transcend into AIM conversations, it's very pretty.




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Ah, this is good. Nice word choice and spacing. Very dirty indeed.

Incandescence wrote:sitting in this too-small recliner with your shoulder
covering mine and your lips nearing mine,
I loved the sun and salt and even your waves
as they pushed at my back --
get out!


Two 'mines' in the same sentence. Hmm, how about 'covering mine and your lips nearing my mouth'? Also, the last three sentences or so got confusing.
Gotta a find a woman be good to me,
Who won't hide my liquor, try to serve me tea.



something about rain makes you want to be in love
— canopy