Tell a joke

23 posts1, 2
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 130
Reviews 288
NURSE: Doctor, doctor! The invisible man's here to see you!
DOCTOR: Well tell him I can't see him right now.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3414
Reviews 247
I don't know if this counts as a joke, but I found it funny. :) These are actual student answers.

What is the lowest frequency a human can register?
A Mouse

What is the highest frequency a human can register?
Mariah Carey

-Sea-
'Let's eat Grandma!' or, 'Let's eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives.

Reviews? You know you want one. :)

*Ribbit*




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1931
Reviews 72
Did you hear about that camping movie?

I heard it was intentsss!
By nature, all language is flawed.

"Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding," - Albert Einstein




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1003
Reviews 1
Why did piglet look in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh. :lol:




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 340
Reviews 74
I've got one!

Teacher: Can you see God?
Class: No.
Teacher: Can you feel God?
Class: No.
Teacher: Then there isn't a God!

-Student raises his hand.-

Student: Sir, can you see your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Can you feel your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Oh, so you don't have a brain?
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest.
The trees keep the tempo and they sway in time.
Quartet of crickets chime in for the chorus.
If I were to pluck on your heart strings would you strum on mine?

~Plant Life, Owl City




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 9525
Reviews 249
A man checks out of a hotel and sees Banta walking along the sidewalk.

Man - Hey buddy, could you please call me a taxi? I'm getting late for my appointment!

Banta - Sure. Sir, you are a taxi.
Last edited by murtuza on Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
It's not about the weight of what's spoken.
It's about being heard.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3888
Reviews 763
My Physics teacher back in school : demonstrates a slinky to show spring action and compressions and rarefactions. She starts playing with it like a kid, then look up and asks us : "Do you waaaaant this slinky?"

All of us : Yes ma'aaam, in hopes that she gives it to us to play with.

Her : Go buy eeet!
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.





User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1882
Reviews 66
You want a joke? Blu team.

(*Shotdead for TF2 reference.)
"Even in the end --even in death-- I can't hate you." - Neri Hereford's last words.

"The Gods demand blood, for they... do not bleed." Jaska.

The Book.



trust your heart if the seas catch fire (and live by love though the stars walk backward)
— E.E. Cummings