Tell a joke

23 posts1, 2
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Ardor
Gender Female
Points 130
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Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:04 pm
Ardor says... · Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:04 pm
NURSE: Doctor, doctor! The invisible man's here to see you!
DOCTOR: Well tell him I can't see him right now.
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Searria H.
Gender Female
Points 3414
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Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:07 pm
Searria H. says... · Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:07 pm
I don't know if this counts as a joke, but I found it funny. :) These are actual student answers.

What is the lowest frequency a human can register?
A Mouse

What is the highest frequency a human can register?
Mariah Carey

-Sea-
'Let's eat Grandma!' or, 'Let's eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives.

Reviews? You know you want one. :)

*Ribbit*
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ShadowKnight155
Gender Male
Points 1931
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Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:52 am
ShadowKnight155 says... · Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:52 am
Did you hear about that camping movie?

I heard it was intentsss!
By nature, all language is flawed.

"Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding," - Albert Einstein
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Yushi
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Points 1003
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Wed Nov 02, 2011 2:51 pm
Yushi says... · Wed Nov 02, 2011 2:51 pm
Why did piglet look in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh. :lol:
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LemonyIce
Gender None specified
Points 340
Reviews 74
Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:54 am
LemonyIce says... · Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:54 am
I've got one!

Teacher: Can you see God?
Class: No.
Teacher: Can you feel God?
Class: No.
Teacher: Then there isn't a God!

-Student raises his hand.-

Student: Sir, can you see your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Can you feel your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Oh, so you don't have a brain?
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest.
The trees keep the tempo and they sway in time.
Quartet of crickets chime in for the chorus.
If I were to pluck on your heart strings would you strum on mine?

~Plant Life, Owl City
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murtuza
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Points 9525
Reviews 249
Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:08 am
murtuza says... · Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:08 am
A man checks out of a hotel and sees Banta walking along the sidewalk.

Man - Hey buddy, could you please call me a taxi? I'm getting late for my appointment!

Banta - Sure. Sir, you are a taxi.
Last edited by murtuza on Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
It's not about the weight of what's spoken.
It's about being heard.
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Lava
Supporter
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Points 3888
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Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:31 pm
Lava says... · Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:31 pm
My Physics teacher back in school : demonstrates a slinky to show spring action and compressions and rarefactions. She starts playing with it like a kid, then look up and asks us : "Do you waaaaant this slinky?"

All of us : Yes ma'aaam, in hopes that she gives it to us to play with.

Her : Go buy eeet!
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.

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SisterItaly
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Points 1882
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Sun Dec 18, 2011 9:44 pm
SisterItaly says... · Sun Dec 18, 2011 9:44 pm
You want a joke? Blu team.

(*Shotdead for TF2 reference.)
"Even in the end --even in death-- I can't hate you." - Neri Hereford's last words.

"The Gods demand blood, for they... do not bleed." Jaska.

The Book.
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23 posts1, 2


I was flummoxed by fractious Franny's decision to abrogate analgesics for the moribund victims of the recent conflagration. Of course, to display histrionics was discretionary, but I did so anyways, implicating a friend in my drama to make the effect cumulative. I think a misanthrope would have a prosaic appellation, perhaps one related to autonomy and the rejection of anthropocentrism. I think they wouldn't think much of the prominence of watching the coagulation of tea to prognosticate future malevolent events, not even if those events were related to jurisprudence.
— Spearmint