The One

The One with the fire,
The One with the ice,
The One who knows nothing but throwing the dice.

The One with the heart,
The One with the knife,
The One who knows nothing but paying the price.

The One with the action,
The One with the herd,
The One who wants to be free like a bird.

The One with the Life,
The One with the word,
The One who wants to be heard.

The One who stumbles,
The One Who falls,
The One who has the voice of all.

Which one are you?

The one poem that won my heart. Simplistic. I like it.

Hi there!

I really enjoyed reading this poem! When I first saw the title, I thought it was going to be another love poem, but it definitely wasn't, it was better than that. You did a great job describing each situation (I guess that's what you'd call it) or rather each personality in this. You picked five different things and made them work together. Your rhyming is solid and this flows really well. It has a definite rhythm to it making it an easy read (which is a good thing).

Overall I really loved this poem! I honestly couldn't find anything wrong with it. Keep writing!

I like your flow with this poem and the repetitiveness. It was really good. I only have two little nitpicks though:

EvensLily wrote:The One with the fire,
The One with the ice,
The One who know nothing but throwing the dice.

I think you meant to put 'knows' here.

EvensLily wrote:The One with the action,
The One with the word,
The One who wants to be free like a bird.

The One with the Life,
The One with the word,
The One who wants to be heard.

It stood out to me the fact you used word twice. Maybe you could replace it with something different in either of the verses? I'm sure there are other rhyming words.

Overall, I liked this poem and I think you did a good job.

Deanie x

Wow, I loved this poem a lot! I, like someone whoever posted before me, thought this would be the stereotypical love story poem, but instead I found myself reading a really awesome, creative, and well thought-out one! The only grammatical mistake I noticed was that you mentioned "The One with the word" twice, although I believe that's been pointed out before. But I only really noticed that once I'd read through twice. Also, "The One who wants to be heard" is a little bit off tempo, or at least the rhythm I was imagining while reading this. I feel like it needs to be a couple syllables longer, however Im not sure how you were phrasing it. Overall, excellent work! Keep writing!