Night

This is just a super-quick poem that got rid of my writer's block a couple days ago. Any and all comments welcome!

Lying in an pool of water,
floating in a sea of calm,
I gaze at the stars
and contemplate the heavens.



Also, a quick note, as many of you have noticed this. This wasn't very long, because I actually was at the pool, and didn't have my notebook with me, so I had to keep it short. I also couldn't think of anything else for the title, so suggestions for that are welcome, too.

I think it has a nice rhythm to it. It is simple, but it is still elegant. I wonder why it's so short and my only problem with it is that I want more without having more. I hope that makes some sense at all.

Thanks for sharing

oh....I was actually expecting something very big. Well the title is good

But no...I think you could have gone all out with this. I would have written a lot more because with this, I think that you have some potential to tell a story here. I would think about it and see if it's possible.

What I will say is that it's a good but it's really a good start to something even bigger. Good luck and keep writing.

hi LooneyPandaxx here!

i really like this poem. I think this poem is short but sweet and puts an image in my head of me and my boyfriend...if i had one, lead on the grass gazing up into the heavens together. It was nice! ...

Well.. the lines you've written are very good... but as a whole this poem doesn't say much. After reading the title I was surprised at the content of this... not sure if it was a good or bad surprise though ^^ I guess... what I'm saying is that for this to have any significant meaning you need to expand it and fill it with more emotion. As it is I feel like it's just plain facts that.. yep, I'm staring at the sky... I'm lying here in my pool... but so what? I just think this has much more potential and that this is just a part of something that's bigger and more creative!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

It's very very very short. And it doesn't really say much, of anything. I guess if it got rid of writer's block it's good, but as a poem, it needs work. Add to it! You have a good start here, very good imagery and very thoughtful. Now, make it into a poem. Seriously, I think this could be great, but as it is it's just too short to do anything for me. It is very good though. I wish I had more of a review, but I think for that I would need more of a poem. So, hopefully my short review is helpful enough. Anyways, keep writing!

Well, I feel a bit wasting my time- obviously you didn't really try.
But well, I'll take a shot:

Lying in an pool of water,
floating in a sea of calm,
I gaze at the stars
and contemplate the heavens.

Okay, I honestly can't find anything to say, it's one sentence
but a nice one though.

Keep writing,
SubjectBlue