Chapter One
Jack Linsel started at the ceiling with a blank expression, letting his mind wander. He had been lying in bed doing this for little over an hour since he had awoken. He had only had a few hours sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about her; the girl that ruined his life; the girl that had lied to him and cheated on him. Used and humiliated him. Yet he somehow seemed to still love her.
In his eyes Jack saw his life as a horrible waste of space. All of his so called ‘friends’ had long since left him. They then proceeded to backstab him to such a degree that he no longer cared when people called him names or bullied and abused him. As if to make matters worse, his parents had divorced when he was very young. He didn’t get along very well with either of them.
In the past few weeks he had neglected to eat or even sleep properly. Often he made himself sick because of this. It seemed that nobody understood him anymore so he just let himself slip into the shadows and simply existed without really being all there. He was in such a great state of depression that he no longer cared what happened to him or what people thought about him.
He slipped out of bed with tears silently streaming down his face, and crept quietly into the bathroom for it was early morning and the sun had only just began to rise. Checking that the note he had prepared earlier was still tucked safely in his pocket, he stretched out a hand in the dull light and opened the medicine cabinet above the sink. He pulled out all of the tablets he could find and bundled them tightly in his arms. Into the kitchen he crept, and fetched a big glass full of water.
The collection of tablets and water were taken back into Jack’s bedroom where he silently closed the door behind himself. Once again he lied down on his bed, closed his eyes and prepared for what was to come. The only sound in the eerily silent house was that of his deep breathing.
This went on for some time while Jack began to cry uncontrollably while thinking of his family. Would they care about him once he was gone or would they be glad that their little burden was finally gone from their lives, once and for all?
Jack painstakingly grabbed a hold of himself and rose from his bed absentmindedly.
All of the tablets were tipped out and spread over his clean white sheet. White, the colour of peace and divinity. Not pain and suffering. There were about thirty or so of these pills and to Jack they looked sickly like candy. He put them in his mouth three at a time, downing them with large gulps of water until they were all gone. Now there was no going back. This move was irreversible.
People say that before you die –while on the verge of death- your life flashes before your eyes. For Jack though there were no flashbacks. His life had been so miserable that he repressed those awful thoughts, wiped his tears and lay huddled on his bed in a tight ball.
It wasn’t long before the pain came and it was excruciating. It felt as though his insides were being torn to shreds and bursting into flames. His heart rate accelerated to an impossible speed. His vision went hazy and blurry and Jack felt that at any moment he would choke and vomit up his insides. He wanted to scream in pain and agony but didn’t for he welcomed the pain; it let him know that he was still alive and could still feel something. He knew that the end was near and soon his pain would end, but the anticipation was unbearable.
If he screamed his mother would wake and come rushing into his room. She would be able to make one short phone call and then the ambulance would be on their way to rescue him. But did he really want that? And if so, would anyone really be able to save him anyway?
Deep down he knew that that he didn’t want to be saved, so remained as silent as possible while writhing in agony. He was forced to mute the sound of his pain in a pillow. He tried to think of peaceful and soothing thoughts but it was near impossible. They couldn’t soothe him anyway.
The last thought to run through his mind was: Rachael, you may have ruined my life but I don’t blame you for this. After that everything went blank and Jack lay motionless on the bed with a tortured yet dreamy expression on his young face.
#
An alarm clock sounded somewhere in the house. Anna sluggishly crept form her bed to silence it. She is however, very clumsy in the morning and so accidently knocked it from the bedside table where it landed with a soft thud on the faded purple carpet. Hastily she retrieved it and placed it back next to her favourite family photo.
Smiling from within the frame were three happy faces: Anna’s smile showed her laugh lines the way it always did in photos. Her bright red hair looked very strange next to her daughter Julie’s pale blond hair. Anna could not understand why she had dyed it. They both had green eyes and so Jack looked odd and out of place with his black hair and brown eye duo. After her divorce Anna had never remarried and so it was just her and the two children in the family. Her ex-husband had left years ago and hadn’t been heard from since.
Anna smiled at the photo before making her way to the shower before breakfast. It was school break and Julie was staying at a friend’s place, and Anna saw no need to wake Jack. After a quick breakfast of soup from the night before, she left home for the veterinary clinic where she worked.
When she came home for her lunch hour Jack’s body still lay motionless and undiscovered on his bed. That’s strange, Anna thought. Jack should be up by now. So she went upstairs to his room to find him. She climbed the stairs slowly, thinking of what to have for lunch. By the time she arrived at Jack’s door, she had decided on a salad sandwich. She knocked politely but got no response so knocked again. Still there was no reply.
“Jack, may I come in?” she said through the door. Jack’s body didn’t stir. In fact it didn’t even hear her calling his name. “Jack are you up yet? It’s two o’clock in the afternoon!” At this she knocked again before opening the door slightly. When she saw him lying there she groaned. “Get up now, Jack! This is ridiculous.”
She went over to him and shook is still body. He did not stir and felt strangely cold beneath his mother’s grasp. She started to panic now, calling his name. “Please. Wake up!” She urged checking for a pulse. She found none and checked again in utter disbelief.
“Oh Jack! No! Please, you can’t be gone! Just wake up right now. Your fine! I know you are! Jack...” she sobbed, tears streaming down her face. She shook him as if she thought that it could bring him back. She hugged him tightly, never wanting to let him go.
Downstairs she heard the faint noise of the front door opening and then closing again. “Help me!” She screamed between sobs. “Please help me!”
Julie came running up the stairs with a panic stricken face, finding her mother lying over her brother in a reckless state.
