The Girl

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I'm considering this a free-style. I didn't edit anything during, or after I wrote it like I do with my other poetry. I just let it flow out of me. This is about a close friend of mine who was raped a couple months ago. I just emailed it to her and I hope she likes it.


Through the looking glass
You’ll see The Girl-
She’s wrapped in class,
Cursed with attraction;
A nice ass,
But they can’t see within.
Her mind, and her heart-
They spin.
Round and round,
The boys win.
The Girl’s not easy,
But they accuse sin,
And still she pushes through.
Until the day Superman came;
Until he flew.
The Girl believed him a savior,
But he already knew:
He was the predator,
She was the prey,
He was the dominator,
And she said ok.
He was the instigator,
And until that day…
She loved him.
Last edited by Kiicoh on Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"It was Cinco de Mayo
Pillow case on his head
No more breathing time
An ambulance sped
It sped round every corner
Calling out his name."
"Lemonade"- Cocorosie




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Hmm, I like it as a free-style, but I'm not seeing how the ending gives off that she was raped. Also, it should be 'prey' instead of 'pray.' But this is very deep and inciteful, I might add. Having the girl be cursed with beauty and the boys taking advantage of it. And the trickery of the "Superman" is a nice touch too. And the methaphor of him being a predator and her being his prey, I liked that touch also. But when you said 'they accuse sin' what exactly did you mean by that? They make fun of her? They say she gets around? I wasn't very sure. No major criticisms here, but I liked it. I hope your friend does too and I'm sorry that happened to her.

Grandison




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Last edited by LiesOnLies on Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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I really enjoyed your poem. Love and conpassion always wins me. I understand it. I hope that you become a great writer someday!
All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie-dust!



In the past I would definitely say who you would find inside. Not so much today. Place is bonkers …. As is everywhere
— Greg Specter