Carry Me Home Chapter 16

5 posts
Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 2647
Reviews 313
Chapter Sixteen
“So.” I blushed, unsure of what exactly was going on. Jonah stood across from me, the worn wooden floor a vast expanse between us. I could still feel my mouth tingle where his lips had been. The cabin had been renovated by Jonah’s grandparents a few years ago. The walls had been dry walled, painted. And electricity ran through the whole house. In front of the fireplace lay a large soft looking rug. A large bed neatly made with numerous quilts and blankets sat ominously in the corner, staring into my soul.
Jonah examined the toe of his shoe as though it was one of the most interesting pieces of rubber and canvas that he’d ever seen.
“The bathroom is down the little hallway on the right. I bought a few toiletries,” he emphasized the word with a smile, “for your use. Pomegranate shampoo, bath sponge, body wash, etcetera.”
I blushed, confused. Then it clicked. I furrowed my brow, a smile playing on my lips. I gaped. “You planned this whole thing!”
Jonah choked back a laugh. Once. Twice. Before he exploded with laughter. He shrugged. “I guess you could say that.”
“How in the hell did you do all of this? Why did you do all of this?”
Jonah rolled his eyes and crossed the room. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him. “I thought it would be a good idea for us to get away from everything for a little while. You’ve had to deal with a lot here lately and I thought that if we fled to the middle of nowhere we’d be okay for a while. I hadn’t planned for it all to be today, which took a few extra arranging, but I wanted to bring you out here.”
I buried my face in his chest. “I swear, you are the most chivalrous, sweetest man on earth.”
I pressed my mouth against his shoulder. He smelled the earth now. Smelled like the wolves on the fountain and the moss, the trees. My eyelids fluttered. I pulled away after a few moments.
“Shower.” I reminded myself.
“Right.” Jonah said. “I’ll rustle up some food and get the TV hooked up.”
I yelped. “How do you plan on finding food exactly?” I imagined Jonah walking around outside with a spear.
Jonah eyed me speculatively, pointed to the cupboards. “I had my grandparents restock today while I was on the phone at the mall. And they hooked up the fridge. I think we’re okay. I’m not really in the mood for squirrel.”
I blushed, stuck out my tongue. I walked to the bathroom all the while Jonah bustled through the kitchen laughing at me.
I closed the bathroom door behind me, locked it. The air smelled of incense and I smiled to myself.
Jonah had gone through so much trouble to make this day perfect for us.
A knock on the door behind me made me jump and shriek.
“Yeah?” I laugh.
“Clothes. Open up.”
I unlocked the door to see Jonah standing there with a goofy grin on his face and the bag that we had brought along in hand.
“You packed my clothes?” I gaped in disbelief.
“You could say that. That’s all.” He said and spun on his heel to walk back into the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes and closed the door, made sure to lock it again after glaring in Jonah’s direction.
Goosebumps broke out over my skin. So much was happening. Jonah had kissed me. I had kissed Jonah.
His lips had tasted so sweet, so soft against mine.
I turned on the shower. The steam clouds curled around me, making my skin warm and moist.
I shimmied out of my clothes and hopped into the tub as quickly as I could. My heart was pounding in my chest.
In the three years of our friendship, never had I ever showered in the same building that Jonah was also occupying. Laynie could sit on the toilet reading off our horoscopes while I was in the shower and it wouldn’t matter at all. Testosterone freaks me out.
Jonah had a neat little row of shampoo on the shelf and I smiled to myself.
Of course Jonah would go all out in a moment’s notice.
I hummed to myself as the steam rolled around me. I felt the sweat from the day roll off of me. I tasted the salt running down my face, over my lips.
The summer was nearly halfway over. Next fall I’ll start my first year of college. I had chosen the University of Iowa to major in psychology and art. I hadn’t talked to Jonah about what college he had chosen. He had talked about wanting to go to a northern college to study music.
Soap bubbles slid down my back as I rinsed out my hair. When Laynie had first picked me up, she told me how long my hair had gotten, it now brushed my shoulder blades.
I closed my eyes thinking about the week’s events. I wouldn’t let anyone take me away from Jonah now, not after everything that’s happened.
I thought back to that first day that we had met. He’s walked in with this big smile on his face and when he had seen me on the couch his expression changed. His eyes went from joking to sincere and kind. His smile had gone from laughing hysterically to acknowledging that us, two people that had never met before, were one in the same. We saw and heard and thought the same things even before he introduced himself.
I wasn’t in love with him. Love at first sight doesn’t exist. He intrigued me, made me think. His hands pounding out three four counts while I watched, entranced at how music could grip its hold on me so steadfastly.
I thought that I had loved James then. And after over two years of being with him, and these months now without him, I know that it had never been love in the first place.
Love was supposed to bloom and grow more beautiful with each moment, not wither. It was supposed to build to great crescendos and only fall to sweet quiet moments, not harsh silence. Love was supposed to be passion and fun, not sweat and drunken murmurs.
I turned the faucet off and wrapped a towel around me, wringed out my hair.
I could hear Jonah singing to himself in the kitchen and I had to smile. Only Jonah would sing opera while making dinner out in the middle of nowhere.
I dried off and went through bag that Jonah had brought to me. Hadn’t he said that he’d brought my clothes? I scowled, only finding a long sleeved button up shirt for sleeping wear.
“You are such an ass!” I yelled, trying not to laugh.
Jonah chortled from the kitchen.
I slipped on my underwear, feeling childish while I examined the cherry patterns in the mirror. Laynie had to have helped him pack my things. Only Laynie would have had the guts to pack all of this stuff and expect me to wear it. I examined the thin lace tops, tight fitting tank tops. I scowled.
When I was dressed, I reached for the door handle but thought better of it. I examined myself in the mirror once more.
I searched through the bag again looking for useful things that Laynie might have packed. I sighed with relief. Razors, hair dryer, perfume. Laynie is such a life saver.
After blow drying my hair and brushing it straight, I tossed my head from side to side. I frowned, upset at how they gussied up the tousled look in movies and made it look great when I ended up looking like I had just crawled out of bed. I brushed my hair down again and gave it a second try. I shrugged. It was better than my first attempt.
I hitched my leg up on the sink counter and decided to shave, taking my time to lather on the shaving cream and then take slow gentle strokes with the razor. After that, I opened the door slightly and asked Jonah for his phone.
Jonah walked up to the bathroom door with his hand over his eyes, his phone outstretched in his hand.
I snatched it and closed the door quickly with a laugh.
“Thank you!” I called out to him.
“What’s taking you so long? Jeez, Laynie must really be rubbing off on you.” He laughed.
“Go away, Jonah.” I teased back.
I clicked through Jonah’s phone, searching for Laynie’s number.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Sorry to call you.” I whispered.
She laughed. “Don’t be sorry. I take it you found the goodies?”
“You call those goodies?” I yelped. “Are you trying to scare me to death?”
“Not really. I just figured that if you guys were going to do anything you needed to be prepared.”
“Wait. What? What are you talking about?”
“Oh. I packed condoms in the right pocket of the backpack.”
I screamed. “You didn’t!”
Laynie shrieked over the phone, a low cackle coming in over the receiver.
I unzipped the bag with one hand. My eyes bulged.
“See? Told you so.” Laynie said, reading my mind.
“I am absolutely god smacked.” I said mutely.
“Of course you are.”
“Are you sure you’re a virgin? I think you’re secretly a closet whore.”
“Oh, believe me. I am. If I wasn’t I would’ve saved those for myself.” She teased. “More than anything, it was just a joke. Loosen up! Let me guess. You’ve been in the bathroom for about an hour now and still aren’t ready to go out there. He packed his shirts for you to wear right?”
“You knew I was staying the night?” I yelped.
“Well. Yea.” She said bluntly. “Tide. Listen to me.”
I was hyperventilating.
“You look great. You look beautiful. In about one minute you’re going to open the bathroom door and go sit down and just chill. Now, I love you. If anything happens, you’re prepared.”
I nodded. “Okay. I love you too.”
“Of course you do.” She said. By the way that she sounded I knew that she was smiling. “Now. Remember. Safe sex!” she hung up with a laugh.
TylynTyrannosaurus<3 (tydecker777)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 130
Reviews 288
I liked the last paragraph, but I have to admit I loved the chapter. I have read chapter 17, and I think it's great. But I wouldn't say end it there. I think it has the potential to go longer. Anyway, back to this chapter. It is beautifully written, and I tihnk you have definetely improved as a writer. How hasn't this got a comment yet?! That's a crime! Perhaps it's too good to be on this site. Ciao!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1799
Reviews 365
Hi tylyn! I figured since I entered your contest I may as well review a chapter!!!!

Jonah examined the toe of his shoe as though it was one of the most interesting pieces of rubber and canvas that he’d ever seen.

hAHHAHAA. that made me laugh. :)

I buried my face in his chest. “I swear, you are the most chivalrous, sweetest man on earth.”

AMEN. I mean, I haven't even read the rest of the novel. I guess it's safe to say that he is the secret admirer?

He smelledlike the earth now.


Okay, I have no idea what going on, but I must say. BEE-YOUT-E-FUL! I loved it! I could feel the emotion. FEEL IT.

Okay, so I hardly found anything to nitpick obviously, so, I'll just leave. like I said, beautiful. Absoluteness.

Maybe that word didn't fit. But anywho, Nice job.

~Drama
hush, my sweet
these tornadoes are for you


-Richard Siken


Formerly SparkToFlame




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 187518
Reviews 1657
Good chapter and I haven't got any new nitpicks. You still hav issues with speech and tenses but the latter is improving. I'm not a particular fan of this chapter; I'd like her to freak out more and to wonder if she's doing the right thing.

The end with Laynie was good though, she's still my favourite character! I want to know how she's getting along with Bryce though, she deserves to be happy.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 32546
Reviews 739
“So.” I blushed, unsure of what exactly was going on. Jonah stood across from me, the worn wooden floor a vast expanse between us. I could still feel my mouth tingle where his lips had been. The cabin had been renovated by Jonah’s grandparents a few years ago. The walls had been dry walled, painted. And electricity ran through the whole house. In front of the fireplace lay a large soft looking rug. A large bed neatly made with numerous quilts and blankets sat ominously in the corner, staring into my soul.
Jonah examined the toe of his shoe as though it was one of the most interesting pieces of rubber and canvas that he’d ever seen.
“The bathroom is down the little hallway on the right. I bought a few toiletries,” he emphasized the word with a smile, “for your use. Pomegranate shampoo, bath sponge, body wash, etcetera.”
I blushed, confused. Then it clicked. I furrowed my brow, a smile playing on my lips. I gaped. “You planned this whole thing!”
Jonah choked back a laugh. Once. Twice. Before he exploded with laughter. He shrugged. “I guess you could say that.”
“How in the hell did you do all of this? Why did you do all of this?”
Jonah rolled his eyes and crossed the room. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him. “I thought it would be a good idea for us to get away from everything for a little while. You’ve had to deal with a lot here lately and I thought that if we fled to the middle of nowhere we’d be okay for a while. I hadn’t planned for it all to be today, which took a few extra arranging arrangings? , but I wanted to bring you out here.”
I buried my face in his chest. “I swear, you are the most chivalrous, sweetest man on earth.”
I pressed my mouth against his shoulder. He smelled [like] the earth now. Smelled like the wolves on the fountain and the moss, the trees. My eyelids fluttered. I pulled away after a few moments.
“Shower.” I reminded myself.
“Right.” Jonah said. “I’ll rustle up some food and get the TV hooked up.”
I yelped. “How do you plan on finding food exactly?” I imagined Jonah walking around outside with a spear.
Jonah eyed me speculatively, pointed to the cupboards. “I had my grandparents restock today while I was on the phone at the mall. And they hooked up the fridge. I think we’re okay. I’m not really in the mood for squirrel.”
I blushed, stuck out my tongue. I walked to the bathroom all the while Jonah bustled through the kitchen laughing at me.
I closed the bathroom door behind me, locked it. The air smelled of incense and I smiled to myself.
Jonah had gone through so much trouble to make this day perfect for us.
A knock on the door behind me made me jump and shriek.
“Yeah?” I laugh.
“Clothes. Open up.”
I unlocked the door to see Jonah standing there with a goofy grin on his face and the bag that we had brought along in hand.
“You packed my clothes?” I gaped in disbelief.
“You could say that. That’s all.” He said and spun on his heel to walk back into the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes and closed the door, made sure to lock it again after glaring in Jonah’s direction.
Goosebumps broke out over my skin. So much was happening. Jonah had kissed me. I had kissed Jonah.
His lips had tasted so sweet, so soft against mine.
I turned on the shower. The steam clouds curled around me, making my skin warm and moist.
I shimmied out of my clothes and hopped into the tub as quickly as I could. My heart was pounding in my chest.
In the three years of our friendship, never had I ever showered in the same building that Jonah was also occupying. Laynie could sit on the toilet reading off our horoscopes while I was in the shower and it wouldn’t matter at all. Testosterone freaks me out.
Jonah had a neat little row of shampoo on the shelf and I smiled to myself.
Of course Jonah would go all out in a moment’s notice.
I hummed to myself as the steam rolled around me. I felt the sweat from the day roll off of me. I tasted the salt running down my face, over my lips.
The summer was nearly halfway over. Next fall I’ll start my first year of college. I had chosen the University of Iowa to major in psychology and art. I hadn’t talked to Jonah about what college he had chosen. He had talked about wanting to go to a northern college to study music.
Soap bubbles slid down my back as I rinsed out my hair. When Laynie had first picked me up, she told me how long my hair had gotten, it now brushed my shoulder blades.
I closed my eyes thinking about the week’s events. I wouldn’t let anyone take me away from Jonah now, not after everything that’s happened.
I thought back to that first day that we had met. He’s walked in with this big smile on his face and when he had seen me on the couch his expression changed. His eyes went from joking to sincere and kind. His smile had gone from laughing hysterically to acknowledging that us, two people that had never met before, were one in the same. We saw and heard and thought the same things even before he introduced himself.
I wasn’t in love with him. Love at first sight doesn’t exist. He intrigued me, made me think. His hands pounding out three four counts while I watched, entranced at how music could grip its hold on me so steadfastly.
I thought that I had loved James then. And after over two years of being with him, and these months now without him, I know that it had never been love in the first place.
Love was supposed to bloom and grow more beautiful with each moment, not wither. It was supposed to build to great crescendos and only fall to sweet quiet moments, not harsh silence. Love was supposed to be passion and fun, not sweat and drunken murmurs.
I turned the faucet off and wrapped a towel around me, wringed out my hair.
I could hear Jonah singing to himself in the kitchen and I had to smile. Only Jonah would sing opera while making dinner out in the middle of nowhere.
I dried off and went through bag that Jonah had brought to me. Hadn’t he said that he’d brought my clothes? I scowled, only finding a long sleeved button up shirt for sleeping wear.
“You are such an ass!” I yelled, trying not to laugh.
Jonah chortled from the kitchen.
I slipped on my underwear, feeling childish while I examined the cherry patterns in the mirror. Laynie had to have helped him pack my things. Only Laynie would have had the guts to pack all of this stuff and expect me to wear it. I examined the thin lace tops, tight fitting tank tops. I scowled.
When I was dressed, I reached for the door handle but thought better of it. I examined myself in the mirror once more.
I searched through the bag again looking for useful things that Laynie might have packed. I sighed with relief. Razors, hair dryer, perfume. Laynie is such a life saver.
After blow drying my hair and brushing it straight, I tossed my head from side to side. I frowned, upset at how they gussied up the tousled look in movies and made it look great when I ended up looking like I had just crawled out of bed. I brushed my hair down again and gave it a second try. I shrugged. It was better than my first attempt.
I hitched my leg up on the sink counter and decided to shave, taking my time to lather on the shaving cream and then take slow gentle strokes with the razor. After that, I opened the door slightly and asked Jonah for his phone.
Jonah walked up to the bathroom door with his hand over his eyes, his phone outstretched in his hand.
I snatched it and closed the door quickly with a laugh.
“Thank you!” I called out to him.
“What’s taking you so long? Jeez, Laynie must really be rubbing off on you.” He laughed.
“Go away, Jonah.” I teased back.
I clicked through Jonah’s phone, searching for Laynie’s number.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Sorry to call you.” I whispered.
She laughed. “Don’t be sorry. I take it you found the goodies?”
“You call those goodies?” I yelped. “Are you trying to scare me to death?”
“Not really. I just figured that if you guys were going to do anything you needed to be prepared.”
“Wait. What? What are you talking about?”
“Oh. I packed condoms in the right pocket of the backpack.”
I screamed. “You didn’t!”
Laynie shrieked over the phone, a low cackle coming in over the receiver.
I unzipped the bag with one hand. My eyes bulged.
“See? Told you so.” Laynie said, reading my mind.
“I am absolutely god smacked.” I said mutely.
“Of course you are.”
“Are you sure you’re a virgin? I think you’re secretly a closet whore.”
“Oh, believe me. I am. If I wasn’t I would’ve saved those for myself.” She teased. “More than anything, it was just a joke. Loosen up! Let me guess. You’ve been in the bathroom for about an hour now and still aren’t ready to go out there. He packed his shirts for you to wear right?”
“You knew I was staying the night?” I yelped.
“Well. Yea.” She said bluntly. “Tide. Listen to me.”
I was hyperventilating.
“You look great. You look beautiful. In about one minute you’re going to open the bathroom door and go sit down and just chill. Now, I love you. If anything happens, you’re prepared.”
I nodded. “Okay. I love you too.”
“Of course you do.” She said. By the way that she sounded I knew that she was smiling. “Now. Remember. Safe sex!” she hung up with a laugh.



I liked this chapter too ^_^ The atmosphere is really laid back, but I’m feeling suspense at what’s going to happen once she gets out of the bathroom lol. Ever since they went to the ivy house two chapters ago, I’ve been more eager to read on. These last couple of chapters have been a good length, too. Though I wish there were more for me to read now x)

So great job with this chapter, I enjoyed reading it!

I wish I could have more to say, but you know if you were ever wondering about something all you gotta do is PM me ^_^

Can't wait until the climax happens!
On second thought, I'm wondering if you even have enough time for the climax. If you're saying you're almost done writing this, and we haven't hit the whole 'turn of events' yet, how are things going to wrap up in time? I'm a little worried!
Anyways, I'm sure you know what you're doing xD
The bad news is we don't have any control.
The good news is we can't make any mistakes.
-Chuck Palahniuk



The most important service rendered by the press and the magazines is that of educating people to approach printed matter with distrust.
— Samuel Butler