IfTonyBlairToldTheTruthForOneDayOurWorldWouldFallApart

Ignorance is strength
For the fun of it
Time is ticking away
Only the insiders know
No more Mr. Nice Guy
Youth destroyed
Ballistic and primitve
Liars and thieves
And you will suffer too
Iraq and Afghanistan
Rules and speculation
Too he is to take the blame
Others that died
Listen to his excuses
Did it for a dare
That person ran our country
Here he is still walking
Everything is in ruins
Time is up now
Reason left in 2003
Utopia a million miles away
The man who would never shut up
He lives free and innocent
Face of idiocy
Order is not mandatory
Reign of terror
Or maybe he regrets it
No of course he doesn't
Everything about him is cruel
Do your work and they'll use the money
And spread the word of death
You should've known better
Over his dead body
Uncle Blair, what's a terrorist?
Regret is not in his vocabulary
Why is a question he cannot answer
Oh the irony of it all
Roped in by lies
Listen to him stutter
Did it for Bush
Where did he get the right?
On America's dick since day one
Under achieving snob
Laughter all over parliament
Did what he wanted for himself
Fooled everyone
All he wanted was to blow shit up
Lying for the masses
Lost the freedom of speech
Arsonist and xenophobe
Prestigious 'traitor of the decade' winner
Asshole for a generation
Retribution will never come
The war criminal is still breathing

I liked this... It was very good. I had no idea that "IfTonyBlairToldTheTruthForOneDayOurWorldWouldFallApart" would all stand for something. I loved the way it was written. The whole thing gave an insight into the world, and I enjoyed reading. It was a bit choppy, but still acceptable. Nice job!

best wishes,
Nessa

I didn't really care too much for this for 2 reasons

1. I know who Tony Blair is, but being a US citizen I don't know much about him besides what happened during the Iraq wars and most of what I've learned came from CNN and CNN is a liberal news network so all the facts may not be accurate and...
2. I'm so sick of politics and stories and poems that have a political agenda and that are One Sided.

I can't escape political mumbo jumbo on the news and such, but I can choose not to read it anywhere else..then again why the hell did I read this if I'm so against politics...oh well.

It's a solid piece told in a unique style.

I admit some points don't flow as well such as the Reign of terror. They read half life prose and half like a telling tale, and this trips the reader up. That said I liked the approach you took to telling the piece and the ultimate result is solid.

Hey Super Duper!

Okay, so! Your poem is really, really, really difficult to read. For one, it's full of gimicky bits. For example, the capitalized beginnings of each line are bolded! Do you know how hard that is to read? It's ridiculously hard! You might as well just be stuck in a Los Angeles freeway because of all the stop and go feeling of the poem. Then, your title is the acrostic, which makes it less fun to read. I mean, you could have been more subtle. I mean, what if you did this:

Ignorance is strength
For the fun of it

Time is ticking away
Only the insiders know
No more Mr. Nice Guy
Youth destroyed

Ballistic and primitve
Liars and thieves
And you will suffer too
Iraq and Afghanistan
Rules and speculation

Too he is to take the blame
Others that died
Listen to his excuses
Did it for a dare

That person ran our country
Here he is still walking
Everything is in ruins

Time is up now
Reason left in 2003
Utopia a million miles away
The man who would never shut up
He lives free and innocent

...if you did that, then the acrostic would be easier to see and you wouldn't have to bold your letters. By not bolding your letters, you remove some of that weird jerkiness so that the only time that the jerkiness was present was when you changed to a new word... and then, that would draw your attention to the words the acrostic forms and not merely the jerkiness.

Anyway, just an idea!

I wasn't going to comment on this because I know nothing about Tony Blair and I hate to critique something that I know nothing about but I just wanted to come over and wholeheartedly second Snoink's opinion. Her idea is nothing short of ingenious. Though I love the cluttered and confused title, your poem should be easier to read and make its point better.

567ajt wrote:Did it for a dare

That was amazing.

567ajt wrote:Or maybe he regrets it
No of course he doesn't

I loved that as well.

567ajt wrote:Uncle Blair, what's a terrorist?

I may just end up quoting the entire poem, bear with me.
There were a few weak lines:

567ajt wrote:Everything is in ruins

567ajt wrote:Fooled everyone

These two are just kind of vague, short, not packed with vitriol like some of the others.
Also at some moments you were needlessly repetitive

567ajt wrote:Here he is still walking

567ajt wrote:He lives free and innocent

567ajt wrote:Retribution will never come
The war criminal is still breathing

I understand that it's a big deal that this slime ball (if he is one I have no knowledge besides this poem) is roaming about but I think if you changed the first two the last two liens would have more resonance.
So I think this ended up being more constructive than I originally thought.
Keep up the great poetry (like I even need to tell you that, you post like twice a day.)

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but: before you write a poem about something, it's best that you learn some of the facts about it so that you don't come across as one of George Galloway's fruitcakes. That said, we'll take a look at the poem.

The only tone with which I leave this poem is one of desperation and arrogance; you take a winded line about Blair (a very boring, generic approach that describes him as a war criminal and a liar without any anti-populist logic) and then add nothing of your own personal views to stop it being a rant. I can't for the life of me remember what the name of this poem form is (it'll come to me, lol) but by having the start of each line making a sentence, it reads in a rambling, incoherent manner; political poems are most effective when the the lines have a strong flow to them and truly get to the heart of what you want to say - surely, that's best done by reading a lot about the subject so that you can form an honest view without the gimicky writing style that Snoink pointed out.

Anyway! So you've got an opinion, now back it up, is in essence what I'm saying. Develop the throwaway comments like "All he wanted was to blow shit up" with a sensible rhythm and more believable images (for example, this currently reads as though you think Blair wanted to make himself an incredibly unpopular man, and say nothing of his speeches in the 1990s against Saddam's vile regime). You don't want that one-sidedness. We want an evocative, but reasoned attack - if an attack is what you want.

So! Best of luck.

-Blinky