Dead End

Vile, venomous life, spun
Into a million and one dead ends,
The truth to all the
Answers are hidden in a web
That hangs high in the heavens,
Ethereal, eternal, but
Ruthless as life is; never to be found.
Murder for satisfaction, to get an
Infinitesimal glimpse of those answers! But
No, life is vicious and
Untamed - Cruel to the cracked bone.
Sending us back to loneliness and hunger for love.

Wicked unto our deathbed. I know.



Another acrostic - another poem about how I feel today.

Wow, this poem gave me chills! The tone was very dark and despairing, and you're rich choice of words emphasized this. I liked the ending as well; it was like someone was speaking from past experiance! Serious chills...good job!

I liked this poem very much. It was clear, concise and emotional without being dragged out like so many poems are to the point of being hit over the head with it. Great job. what inspired this?

Dark, deep, and with some beautiful wording. I'd work on the meter/flow of the poem, because I lost it at moments when I was reading, but that's about the only nitpick I can think of. Well done, this was rather wonderful.

Ah, yes, good ol' existential cynicism. I liked it. I like dark, depressing things---which explains the unusual sort of women I end up with at the end of a night of bar-hopping. But I digress...

Optimism is...well...too goddamn boring. Anyone can take a good day and roll with it, but it takes far more balls to embrace darkness and channel it into art.

Thanks for all the great responses guys! Really appreciate it!

This was so good, you use exceptional wordage in your poems, it brings them to life! There are no mistakes in this poem as far as i see, You write amazing dramatic poetry! keep up the good work

When writing an acrostic poem, it's good to separate out the words. Here, that would mean placing an extra line in between "Answers are hidden in a web" and "That hangs high in the heavens,".

The use of "Vita Terminus" is an interesting choice as there is a couple of ways you could translate that. The first way, and the way you chose, is to translate it as roughly analogous to "Life is a dead end." However, terminus doesn't mean dead end. Terminus just means the final point, and as such can be thought off as a beginning rather than an end. For example, the terminus point for all roads in the Roman Empire was Rome, which was the eternal city. So instead, I would think a better translation of Vita Terminus would be "Life is a beginning."

At any rate, the first seven lines are good. But beginning with the "Murder for satisfaction" line, this poem started to feel very awkward. The problem is that the seventh and eighth lines really make no sense, and the exclamation mark comes out of nowhere. Additionally, the ninth and tenth lines seem to not relate at all to the rest of the poem with the eleventh line not fitting in at all.

I think what you ran into is the same problem that many writers have with acrostic poems. That is, they let the form control the poem rather than the poem control the form. In the last five lines, it seems that you are choosing words and sentences solely for their ability to fit into the acrostic, and that's a problem. If you choose to rewrite this and develop it further, I would suggest making "Vita Terminus" merely the title of the poem and dumping the acrostic form.

It is, though, a good effort and the first seven lines were done well. Just be careful about choosing form over function.