Goodbye Stranger

Goodbye Stranger

They say blood is thicker than water
but not blood I never knew I had
Where were you for all those moments
when I was desperate-needing you-sad?

You failed your only task
and I have the privilege of suffering
How could you be so selfish?
My rage is sweltering

I needed you then
I don't need you now
You're a stranger to me
yet familiar somehow

We get one chance in life
as fair as it may be
Why you toyed with my heart
will always be a mystery

I've roughed it on my own
You can't recognize these scars
Don't expect to come back
When you've made yourself so far

I don't think I'll miss you
I don't really know who "you" are
I don't care what happens
This is quite bizarre

Have a safe trip down.

I don't know what brought you to write this poem, but I am touched and impressed.
The rhyming was great and the words emotionally moving.
I truly enjoyed your poem, but I think it should be in lyric poetry, but i could be wrong.
Keep writing.

This is a really good poem, I enjoyed it a lot, though it's a depressing matter. I just have a few questions about the wording I wanted to bring to attention:

when I was desperately-needing you-sad?

I'm not sure if that's what it was supposed to be, I mean, this is poetry after all, word play is entirely legal here.

This is quite bizarre

Your poem is so intense and deep and then this line kinda knocks off the serious tone you had built up in the rest of the poem. I know it's hard to get certain words to fit in poems, but I think this line could use a little altering.

I very much like this piece a lot though, regardless of the things I pointed out. Like SubjectBlue said, keep writing!

This is a nice poem. It was interesting in a depressing manner, and it had a good amount of feeling in it.
I feel that there could have been a bit more imagery, though, and some places did not flow as well as others did.

They say blood is thicker than water
but not blood I never knew I had This line kind of messed me up, it sound s a bit strange; I had to read it about three times the first time and I still couldn't really...get it.
Where were you for all those moments
when I was desperate-needing you-sad?This does not sound good, and is best to be rephrased.

You failed your only task
and I have the privilege of suffering.
How could you be so selfish?
My rage is sweltering.

I needed you then
I don't need you now;
You're a stranger to me,
yet familiar somehow.

We get one chance in life
as fair as it may be.
Why you toyed with my heart
will always be a mystery.

I've roughed it on my own,
You can't recognize these scars;
Don't expect to come back
When you've made yourself so far.

I don't think I'll miss you,
I don't really know who "you" are;
I don't care what happens,
This is quite bizarre This last line does not fit well, and it sounds like you struggled to make a rhyme.

Have a safe trip down.

So mostly punctuation.
Great poem!

That was very deep and touching! Very angsty, very teenage, but good! I'm not sure if it was based on real life experience or fiction, I won't ask, but it had a very real feeling in it. I am truely touched by this. Very good job at reaching out to people. Happy writing!