Math...mwahahahah

Spoiler

So I have to take this AWFUL class over summer and it's...yeah, you guessed it! Algebra. My favorite. So anywho, this was inspired as I sat a moment ago rotting at my dreaded desk. Tell me what you think!

PS. NOT exaggerated material!!!

Oh, the intensity with which my hatred burns,
If only it’d light you on fire – I’d watch with glee
Flames consuming your dreaded self.
It’d be a sight –indeed- to see!

Functions and problems, solutions and options.
A million different ways to say the same thing!
It’s stupid. It’s pointless, it makes me loath you;
In fact, if you had a neck, of it, I’d be sure to wring.

The very thought of your endless evilness
Sends me into a state of panic –
I burst into butterfly jitters!
I assure you, I’ve become a complete manic!

The agony, oh the bitter self-pity,
I want to punch you in the face!
Watch you squirming as you make me squire.
But, alas! Mindless torment, on it races.

This heinous competition I’ll never win,
For on in life you’re always there!
Never leaving; sincerity is your excuse,
But really, I’ll pass on my share!

I kinda like math (because I'm good at it), but I liked this poem anyways. My only critic is that I think loath is spelled loathe. I'm not sure, though.

Ahhh you know, I really suck at reviewing poems, so I actually probably won't say anything helpful, I'll just compliment!

Even though I'm good at math (98 in Algebra!) I totally loved this poem and thought it was brilliant! It was so funny and definitely true (no matter how good at math I am, I still despise it with a burning passion! So kudos to you for making this ;P

P.S. I don't have anything to critique, it was awesome XD

I love this poem. I am pretty good at math but I still hate it. What makes it worse is that our math teacher talks forever expecting you to listen ALL the time in one of those really boring-makes-you-wanna-sleep-voices.... It annoys me. Well back to the poem...

Nothing I can say bad about it, but a very good and poem its very easy to relate to!

This poem is so great. I think all we Literacy-lovers on YWS can relate to this poem ( me inparticular - I scraped a C in my maths GCSE). I haven't really got much to critique with this poem: what you see is what you get, and your grammar, spelling, and punctuation is perfectly fine - no faults there! Once again, great poem, I really enjoyed it and look forward to the next one.
BTW. Congrats on the feature, and *like* XD
- Alia

This poem was great. Even though I'm kinda good at math, I still hate it. So I can empathize. I have nothing bad to say about this poem. You kept with your rhyme scheme, it had a good rhythm, and it's good content. The poem itself was quite amusing, and I like your vocabulary. Keep writing.

So is this poem about maths? That is not really what i caught from it. Anyway I enjoyed reading it, it made me laugh especially this line:

Functions and problems, solutions and options.
A million different ways to say the same thing!
It%u2019s stupid. It%u2019s pointless, it makes me loath you;
In fact, if you had a neck, of it, I%u2019d be sure to wring.

Regarding grammar I see someone already pointed one or two out to you so overall nice work

I like this poem. It made me laugh and nod my head. Honestly, I agree with EVERYTHING in this poem.
But since everyone's a critic, here's a point or two;

1) This poem does not flow. Not at all really. Maybe its just from screen-reading, but I stumbled almost every line on your wording. "Flow" is important. It's what makes a poem what it is. And since this one doesn't rhyme, it needs even more flow in the structure.
2) Your title. I get that this poem is meant to be silly, but really? "mwahahahah" ? Try naming something clever and less immature. You could just name it "math". That would add a bit of curiousity. But your current title doesn't even fit the tone of your poem, and made me, as a reader, reluctant to read your work.

Yes, I take this all WAY too seriously, and, yes, I can be a bit mean.
Just here to help
~Hopeispeace

I have no reveiw for you but I just want to say if you hate Algebra wait until you get higher up. I took Calculus last year and I suck at math (my highest grade ever was a B-) and that was the worst thing I ever had to do. Algebra was a peice of cake compared to what's in store. Good luck:)

I absolutely hate math with a constant passion, so I can totally relate to this. This was very well written, and I love the little "alas!" and "-indeed-". Those two things give it character, I do say. I really enjoyed reading this!!

Your spelling leaves a little to be desired but I really feel you captured the essence of comedic hatred without being cliche. Well done!

To be honest, I didn't find this poem to be that great. You chose a subject that you hate yet you don't go in depth of your feelings or emotions. You need to learn how to 'show' us what you are feeling and not 'telling' us. In the poem i noticed a lot is that you didn't really get descriptive of anything. Hopefully in the future you will learn to widen your poetry skills. Although i still think it is quite good but needs improvements in some area's.

,writingaway

Well first off I love math and I'm a programmer so I may come off a little harsher than I like. Maybe I am offended. I don't know. Well. Anyways, onto the review. I hope I'm not offended. I don't like taking offense. :/

Functions and problems, solutions and options.
A million different ways to say the same thing!
It’s stupid. It’s pointless, it makes me loath you;
In fact, if you had a neck, of it, I’d be sure to wring.

This stanza's quite... seems hypocritical? To say as a writer. It just seems so, unpoetic. It takes out everything in the poem and dries it up. So why would you like writing? If I told you to revise, it would mean nothing and it's a chore to you? Do you see the... contradiction here? It just makes it seem like this is all a chore to you with no purpose. Then what's the point of language? What I'm talking about specifically is the second line. Think about it for a minute.

And also, as Hopeiseace said, the title seems a little too immature, and the positioning of the poem is immature as well. It flows quite choppily, and the subject isn't all that creative. A large portion of the population can relate but that doesn't make it good(Wow, that just sounds WAY to mean. Sorry ). The poem seems to lack emotion and it all seems forced.

The agony, oh the bitter self-pity,
I want to punch you in the face!
Watch you squirming as you make me squire.
But, alas! Mindless torment, on it races.

This heinous competition I’ll never win,

Punching somebody in the face doesn't seem like a great idea. You get a little shock value from this line and it just breaks the flow(the second line is what I'm referring to, but when you quote a stanza I guess "this line" is a little vague :p). I don't think shock value is what you are going for. It's just a blunt, strange reaction from the rest of the poem. The third line made no sense at all really to me. And the last line [of the quote] doesn't make much sense either. How is it a competition. What are you competing with exactly?

Your poem wasn't terrible. It just needs some rethinking. Wow, I ruined all the fun. But, thats the point of the site so I did what I do. Which isn't reviewing. So I did what I wish I did more often. So again, I just want to help. I don't wanna be mean but I was. I just didn't love the poem.

-Skis

Oh, the intensity with which my hatred burns,
If only it’d (what?) light you on fire – I’d watch with glee
Flames consuming your dreaded self (the flames consume math's self?).
It’d be a sight –indeed- to see!

Functions and problems, solutions and options. (dash or comma)
A million different ways to say the same thing! (Fragment)
It’s stupid. It’s pointless, it makes me loath you;
In fact, if you had a neck, of it, (no comma) I’d be sure to wring. (Reiterated: "I'd be sure to wring of it." In this line, "of" does not fit because it introduces a prepositional phrase; and, if you desire a prepositional phrase here, then you still need to provide the direct object of "wring." Or, you could omit "of" in this line and have "it" as the direct object.)

The very thought of your endless evilness (This felt like bad alliteration when you ended both words with "ess")
Sends me into a state of panic –
I burst into butterfly jitters!
I assure you, (addressing Math or the Reader?) I’ve become a complete manic!

The agony, oh the bitter self-pity,
I want to punch you in the face!
Watch you squirming as you make me squire. (Fragment)
But, alas! Mindless torment (towards Math, or towards-you-because-of-Math?), on it races.

This heinous competition I’ll never win,
For (comma) on in life (comma) you’re always there!
Never leaving; sincerity is your excuse (for never leaving?),
But really, I’ll pass on my share (of what?) !

This piece was plagued with ambiguity, but not the good sort of ambiguity. It's plain to see that this needs a reworking of grammar, if not also structure. Some lines could be nixed, but I'd leave that to you, seeing as I'm not the best poet in the world (I'm not a poet). Other than your various infractions, I loved it and agree!

~ Happy Writing!

Great poem subject! I HATE math as well! the only concrit I have is that the poem doesn't really flow as as far as rhyming.

Functions and problems, solutions and options.
A million different ways to say the same thing!
It’s stupid. It’s pointless, it makes me loath you;
In fact, if you had a neck, of it, I’d be sure to wring.

- loathe has an e at the end.

The very thought of your endless evilness
Sends me into a state of panic –
I burst into butterfly jitters!
I assure you, I’ve become a complete manic!

- manic is an adjective, not a noun. You could say "I've become completely manic!" or use the word maniac instead.