Wow, that is quite the story. Though it isn't all that short. I would have maybe put it into a short chapter book? Just giving you an idea. There are a few errors, read over your work to find them. Also you switched from past and present tense a few times. I liked the story line. Keep writing!
The hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay.
I like this. Kind of creepy, but good. Who knew those little kid fairy tales could be so scary. I don't know if you plan on making this a novel but if you are writing more you might want to shorten the chapters a little bit. I also notice a few typo,
There wasn't an old women who lived in the *show*
I think you meant *shoe* Well thats about it. Please write more soon, I'm dying to see what happens next. ~Dragongirl
"Every writer I know has trouble writing." - Joseph Heller
~ A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.~ - Bill Cosby
sometimes i'm like "I should say something quotable to make it into the quote gen" but then I feel bad because quote gen quotes are very spontaneous — theromanticchemist
