I Do?

As each of the buttons on my dress are latched,
I feel the close of my single life.
I know in a few short minutes,
I will become your wife.

Close my eyes and take a deep breathe,
remember the life I am leaving behind.
Then suddenly I panic,
was this all in what I signed?

Are you really making me choose you over them,
so you can have me all to yourself?
What about all my memories,
Will they remain hidden on a shelf?

A tear falls from my green eyes,
and momma wipes it away.
"this is the hardest part" she says,
"but he is meeting you halfway."

I smile at the mention of you,
and try to seize my tears.
Since I know you're feeling the same way,
but stomaching your fears.

"Ready?" daddy chokes out,
"it's your turn to walk."
I only nod my head,
because I know what happens if I talk.

The giant oak doors close,
and the music changes its tune.
I feel a kick from below,
now the size of a large balloon.

With daddy on my left,
and mommy on my right.
I feel secure in the middle,
our future now in sight.

Your family sitting next to mine,
awaiting the vows we will share.
I hope they don't feel it's a mistake,
because of this small burden we bare.

There's no changing the past,
so here comes the bride.
The pedals sprinkled on the floor,
disappear with every stride.

Like whipping away the past,
so the future can unveil.
I look around - awe in my eyes,
remembering to exhale.

The church is covered in flowers,
shades of purple and green.
A dream come true for a woman,
walking at seventeen.

Spoiler

I wrote this poem on the plane yesterday. It addresses some of the things that I am fearing as well as some of the things that are frustrating me. For example...pretty much every person I have told about this wedding assumes that I am pregnant, but I'm not.
Anyways, I know this poem is rough (the flow is choppy) so if you have any suggestions or comments they are appreciated

hiii jessaaaa *glomps*
I like this poem! I'm going to keep this review short because I wouldn't know what to change..It looks all right to me! XD
Good luck on your day!
I enjoyed reading this
-qaralynn-

Hi Jessa, this is a truly beautiful poem you wrote here.

Jessa wrote:"this is the hardest part," she says,
"but he is meeting you halfway."

This is a huge step you're taking, that implies changes, but after all that's what life has the most; changes. So my congratulations. Wish you the best future! ^_^

This quote is fantastic. The line where you mention that you have to "remember to exhale" evokes understanding from the reader that this is a huge step you are about to take into your future due to the nervous feeling you exhibit.

Like whipping away the past,
so the future can unveil.
I look around - awe in my eyes,
remembering to exhale.

Congrats on a great piece!
Hopefully when the moment arises when you have to walk down that glorious aisle, you only feel the nerves due to utter joy.

Amazing, amazing, amazing!

it's very very clear of the setting, but I don't think you're settling on the main idea of the bride being jittery. it seems like you're settling on everything taking place before the actual ceremony, rather than her being nervous. nice touch, it seems to make the girl more question herself, but become stronger as she walks down the isle You did a wonderful job giving the setting a good mood though.
Best of luck with your future, and may it be a blessed, happy one !
Bravo!

Keep your happiness going
--ASH

Hello! This was a great poem. I loved it. It emoted the pre-wedding jitters that everyone faces so well. The way that you put dialogue in didn't distract from the meaning and truth of the poem; it only made it better. So great job there. My corrections will be in parenthesis'.

Jessa wrote:As each of the buttons on my dress are latched,
I feel the close of my single life.
I know in a few short minutes,
I will become your wife.
(This is one of my favorite stanza's. I loved the first line.)

Close my eyes and take a deep breathe,
remember the life I am leaving behind.
Then suddenly I panic,
was this all in what I signed?

Are you really making me choose you over them,
so you can have me all to yourself?
What about all my memories,
Will they remain hidden on a shelf?

A tear falls from my green eyes,
and momma wipes it away.
"this is the hardest part" she says,
"but he is meeting you halfway."
(You need a comma after "part,")

I smile at the mention of you,
and try to seize my tears.
Since I know you're feeling the same way,
but stomaching your fears.

"Ready?" daddy chokes out,
"it's your turn to walk."
I only nod my head,
because I know what happens if I talk.
(Capitolize the D in Daddy)

The giant oak doors close,
and the music changes its tune.
I feel a kick from below,
now the size of a large balloon.
(The last sentence confused me. I wasn't sure what you were explaining.)

With daddy on my left,
and mommy on my right.
I feel secure in the middle,
our future now in sight.

Your family sitting next to mine,
awaiting the vows we will share.
I hope they don't feel it's a mistake,
because of this small burden we bare.

There's no changing the past,
so here comes the bride.
The pedals sprinkled on the floor,
disappear with every stride.
(Great imagery here. I can see the bride walking down the aisle.)

Like whipping away the past,
so the future can unveil.
I look around - awe in my eyes,
remembering to exhale.

The church is covered in flowers,
shades of purple and green.
A dream come true for a woman,
walking at seventeen.

Great job all around. It was a heart-wrenching poem but it was beautiful as well.

Hi jess! Please don't forget about us here at young writers! Only joking - I'm so happy for you!
I thought this poem was so beautiful. I feel your passion and emotion, simply wonderful! I didn't get the bit about the baloon: that part actually implies that you're pregnant (you're not, obvs)! The last stanza was my favorite, especially the final line: it completes the poem and rounds it out nicely. Oh, best wishes! I loved your poem, and, in a few days, all those nerves will've disappeared! Enjoy yourself!
- Alia

Hi there!
This is excellent - it flows really well and is easy on the ear if you catch my meaning. I love the reference to the baby and the age - subtle but effective. The last two lines are fantastic and round the poem up wonderfully. Just one thing - you might want to check up on your spelling and grammar. Presentation is the key! The one that sticks out at me the most is in the tenth stanza - 'pedals' should be changed to 'petals'. Also, make sure you capitalize the M and D in Mommy and Daddy.
All in all, a fantastic and amazing poem!
Congrats!

Congrats! This poem flows nicely and tells a story. Don't worry though, in a couple of days you'll be ecstatic! (hopefully)

Jessa wrote:A tear falls from my green eyes,
and momma wipes it away.
"this is the hardest part" she says,
"but he is meeting you halfway."

Maybe if you take out "green" before eyes? It's not necessary and makes you slow down. Just a suggestion of course. Read it over with and without the green, decide what you like better. Either way the poem was magnificent!

Good luck, and happy wishes,
-Brie

Hey there Jessa!

I thought this was beautiful, but I'm not a poem critic.

The one thing I wanted to point out:

Close my eyes and take a deep breathe,
remember the life I am leaving behind.

breath.

Congrats on the wedding!

Tanya

First off: Congratulations on your wedding!

Second, I really enjoyed this. It's a great poem and I can absolutley picture the bride on her wedding day.

A dream come true for a woman,
walking at seventeen.

^ This is probably my favorite line. I reminds me of my mother (who was engaged at 17) and it makes me even more happier for you! So, once again congrats on your wedding and I wish you the best of luck!!

~JustMe

Hi, I thought this piece was stunning and beautiful! I could feel your pain, joy, and pre-game jitters. But unlike some stuff that the other reviewers said is that I think this poem is not all about the worries that come with marriage but also the fear of getting married and saying, "I do." At seventeen years old, I saw no errors and I loved this piece! Good luck with your future marriage and I hope you and your fiance make it through all the tough times!
Peace,
Snickerdooly

Ack, I am so excited for you!!!

Anyway, just a quick typo that I had to point out:

because of this small burden we bare. <-- "bare" should be "bear"

But that's all! Really nice stuff here. Also, I'm so excited for you!!!

This is really great! It demonstrates the huge turmoil of feelings, and I really like that.

Besides all my normal nitpicks of capitilization and such, I can see nothing wrong with this.

Keep writing!

First off, I would like to commend you on a job well done. This is a really emotional poem and I can feel everything that you're trying to convey; there's the joy and excitement but of course the fear and doubt. I loved the feel of reading it because it's really deep.

I personally think that there's nothing wrong with the flow although some bits could be edited to improve and other mistakes that I found were more on the spelling side of things.

As each of the buttons on my dress are latched,
I feel the close of my single life.
I know in a few short minutes,
I will become your wife.

Close my eyes and take a deep breathe, - Okay, let me start off with this: 'breathe' is the action so if you said 'take a deep ...' the appropriate word to us is 'breath' as in the noun.
remember the life I am leaving behind.
Then suddenly I panic,
was this all in what I signed?

Are you really making me choose you over them,
so you can have me all to yourself?
What about all my memories,
Will they remain hidden on a shelf?

A tear falls from my green eyes,
and momma wipes it away.
"this is the hardest part" she says, Next off, if you want the line to be more appropriate you could try: "This is the hardest part," she says,
"but he is meeting you halfway."

I smile at the mention of you,
and try to seize my tears.
Since I know you're feeling the same way,
but stomaching your fears.

"Ready?" daddy chokes out,
"it's your turn to walk."
I only nod my head,
because I know what happens if I talk. You're talking about the thing that will happen and not what is happening so it's better if you put "what would happen".

The giant oak doors close,
and the music changes its tune.
I feel a kick from below,
now the size of a large balloon.

With daddy on my left,
and mommy on my right.
I feel secure in the middle,
our future now in sight.

Your family sitting next to mine,
awaiting the vows we will share.
I hope they don't feel it's a mistake,
because of this small burden we bare. 'bare' usually means 'naked or something of the like. What you mean is the burden you 'carry' in this case you would use 'bear'.

There's no changing the past,
so here comes the bride.
The pedals sprinkled on the floor, 'pedals' are what you see on a bicycle. It's where you step on to make it move. Here, you mean 'petals' as in the colorful parts of a flower.
disappear with every stride.

Like whipping away the past,
so the future can unveil.
I look around - awe in my eyes,
remembering to exhale.

The church is covered in flowers,
shades of purple and green.
A dream come true for a woman,
walking at seventeen.

So, I hope this helps. I absolutely loved your poem. Happy writing!