In the Shadow of Your Wings

Spoiler

My only comment: Meh.

Can I fly with you
in the shadow of your wings,
when sky and moon are hardly quiet
and I can’t hear a thing?

Will you scream my Name
when blowing air turns stale?
Can my echoes reach your ears
before arid words can fail?

There’s a sun that’s always pulsing
in the center of your chest.
It’s the reason I’m forever afraid
to embrace you, lest

I smother it and dim the light
which you display so proudly.
Yet despite my dark you declare your love
for me so very loudly.

My tears of rain are falling upwards
as you dive with me in your arms.
The fear I’ve always kept inside
dissolves faced with your charms.

Auroras burn in my veins,
your sweet voice is right above me.
Tell me, my dear heartling
how do you still love me?

It’s a question sprung from dreams
but I’ll perceive it as reality,
for if you can accept me so
then in your eyes I must be worthy.

So let's take the rainbow you’ve been given
and I'll hold on to you tight.
We’ll soar and twirl right through the clouds
and I'll shout with all my might –

“I love you more each moment I spend
in the shadow of your wings!"

Spoiler

By the way:
Will you scream my Name
when blowing air turns stale?
Can my echoes reach your ears
before arid words can fail? <this part drives off the edge of INSANITY. I wish to change it :/

Kudos to ya.

I really like the poem. It's some kind of a vow, or promise. The contents of your poem emanates a great desire to plead for someone's promise, to beg for a favor that can mean more for your life.

I really like how you try to show your readers the beauty, tragedy, genius, love, hatred, vows and truth in only one poem, it's like an all-in-one. You get four stars for that.

By the way good luck in your entry, and, for goodness' sake, keep writing. I will be hoping to see more of your works.

I really like this poem. I liked the structure of it and the rhyme. Please keep writing,this is really good!

I liked the rhyme scheme and how you had the poem flow. I could feel the love, or whatever you were trying to convey. The poem... was good... even great... but not close to immaculate. A solid 8/10 rating, I hope you win your contest, I enjoyed reading it. Keep Writing!

I smother it and dim the light
which you display so proudly.
Yet despite my dark you declare your love
for me so very loudly.

My tears of rain are falling upwards
as you dive with me in your arms.
The fear I’ve always kept inside
dissolves faced with your charms.

I really like that part in the poem Keep up the good work
I'll be looking more into you'r upcoming poems!!