God Loves You

I'm not trying to be preachy, honest. This is my heart. Well, God's heart, I think. But it needs critiques too, so... hammer away. :3
~~~~~~~~~
God loves you-- Enough to catch you when you fall
Enough to discipline you when you're wrong
Enough to test you to make you strong
And enough to break you, so you can fully know His love.
For if you were never broken, you would never
Reach for Him.

He is a radical God.
He will never forsake you, but He's waiting for you
To reach for Him.
He is a gentleman. He will never force your love--
But He wants it so badly.

He will do things that blow your mind and make you say,
Why?
Because you don't understand.
How can you?
He doesn't think like anyone else.
~~~~~~~~~

Now that I look at it, it needs a bit of help.

I love this poem. Not only does it have feeling, but truth and insight to the REAL God, the one that does not just love you, that loves you enough to discipline you when you turn away. Imagery could have been a bit better, as well as diction, but the poem flowed fairly well.

God loves you-- Enough to catch you when you fall
Enough to discipline you when you're wrong
Enough to test you to make you strong
And enough to break you, so you can fully know His love.
For if you were never broken, you would never
Reach out to Him. This last line just seems too short compared to the rest of the stanza, so it disrupts the flow.

He is a radical God.
He will never forsake you, but He's waiting,
Waiting for you to reach for Him. This format flows better in my opinion.
He is a gentleman. He will never force your love--
But He wants it so badly. So true

He will do things that blow your mind
And make you wonder why. Original did not flow at all.
Because you don't understand.
How can you?
He doesn't think like anyone else. True, but maybe you could have ended the poem differently, this sounds like something you would put in the muddle of it.

So there are somethings to work on, but I still love it! Keep on writing, and keep on believing!

*Hitting love....stinkers I guess I will have to settle for like*

I really liked the honesty of this poem! It gives a true and heartfelt message.

Keep it up,
~FW~

I'm glad you have such strong faith! It wasn't preachy at all, it was beautiful. Your imagery, flow, pacing, was all flawless. I'll say it again, its an absolutley beautiful poem. Also you show a very strong voice.

The only thing I would critique is the last line, it didn't quite seem to fit with the rest of the poem. It was sort of a shift in subject matter, and the language didn't seem to match up with the rest.

I really, really loved this poem. It has been done before, but it is the type of poem that never get old. Great poem!

(P.S. I totally write poems on my desks at school...in pencil--they're erasable )

I love the first stanza! I was free-writing the other night at an obscenely late hour (and yes, it was an obscenely late hour!) and one of the things that came out was through suffering came sacrifice and through sacrifice came love. Because it is only through suffering where these difficult choices -- such as right versus wrong, love versus hate, etc. -- come up and often the right choice is the one which is most difficult to make and so, in order to submit yourself to the truth, then you would have to suffer and sacrifice what is easy for what is hard -- but right. And, through these sacrifices, it gives you a much heightened level of what is important, because if there is no love done in any sacrifice, it is a miserable affair, but if there is love and truth in the sacrifice, it is always worthwhile.

Anyway, that's my two cents, lol.

My biggest problem with this poem (you know there had to be a critique, lol!) was that these are relatively simple ideas that can be much more expanded into something better. So, for instance, every stanza can be fleshed out into its own poem... and it would be better that way too.

But good start!

Great job. I'm a really devout christian and I felt the depth of your words, and I can say I believe every little bit is true. The first stanza was amazing but it sort of tapered off from there, it was still quality work, but not as good as those first lines.
Perfection:

God loves you-- Enough to catch you when you fall
Enough to discipline you when you're wrong
Enough to test you to make you strong
And enough to break you, so you can fully know His love.
For if you were never broken, you would never
Reach for Him.

I likes the poem and the message was just beautiful the only problem is probably the ending. The ending was too short and didn't fit the rest of the poem.But overall, the poem was simply beautiful!

I like this poem! It shows the truth about God (I believe every word of the poem). I found a few mistakes, but decided to let it slide. It was a beautiful poem, keep writing more!

No matter who you are, what you believe, what you do or what you did.. God loves you..
What an inspiring work. I liked it! Keep it up...

animekaratepup wrote:I'm not trying to be preachy, honest. This is my heart. Well, God's heart, I think. But it needs critiques too, so... hammer away. :3

You aren't seriously saying you speak for a god, are you? Review done. Over and out. Your heart needs a wake-up call before your writing merits attention.

Now that I look at it, it needs a bit of help.

Really? There might be hope for you yet pup. But with these slight omissions of help and hope and inflated senses of importance, your humility is like the facade the man at the printer shop puts on when I want to use the machines there. He'll smile, give me the key, ask if I need any questions, and then the moment I've turned my back I can hear him grumbling under his breath at how he deserved better in life.

It's simple pup. Bare down, get real, and stop asking for things to come to you. Go to them. Make things happen. The same applies for your writing.

GAAAAAH!

God loves you-- Enough to catch you when you fall
Enough to discipline you when you're wrong
Enough to test you to make you strong
And enough to break you, so you can fully know His love.
For if you were never broken, you would never
Reach for Him.

This is such a true message, I love it!
A message of hope, love, and power in a world of stress and disbelief...
God bless!

Keep Writing!
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-Jojo