Rainy Day

Hey.. So I'll be plain honest and say that I understood only a little bit of it.. But I liked what I understood... It would be nice to clear up the confusion, infact very helpful too...
Harshita:0

Hello there. Congrats on the featured work. ^_^

Nitpicks:

It is raining
Steady and consistent
I am alone
Safe and consistent

- Really good opening.

I lean back against the grey chain link fence

- I'm not sure with how you described the fence here. o.o

I stare through the wind and water at the melting colors of parked cars

- Nice imagery.

I close my eyes
Dripping
Cold
Alone
Happy
I am happy

- I love the way the persona 'spoke' in this poem. It's just calm. And this ending is the best. You are brilliant.


I like this poem. It's good. But you gotta keep in mind what the reviewers said. I agree with the first reviewer about the repetition of the words in the first part. I didn't notice it until I saw his review. Also, like the other reviewers said, this poem needs punctuation. When I was still new at writing, I thought that poems don't need punctuation marks at the end of the lines, but I realized that they actually do. I hope you keep learning in this site. Hehe.

Anyway, I like the structure of this poem. It's really unique, compared to most poems. I like the wording too.

Never stop writing!

I liked this poem.It really presented a strong image of a rainy day in my mind and I loved the lack of punctuation and the weird, drippy structure. I love it when writers structure the image of structure around the meaning of the poem. Lovely to read and I'm made up that it is featured because the structure of this is amazing for everyone to see.

It was kind of flat, nothing made it impressive but it had things that made in unsatisfying. "I stare through the wind and water at the melting colors of parked cars" was way too long. If you compared it to the other lines, it was a big difference. The last words were kind of awkward. They were over much simple. Plus you have forgotten punctuations. And the message was kind of, well too simple.

I liked this poem... but I agree with this one

It is raining
Steady and consistent
I am alone
Safe and consistent- It is distracting and takes away from the flow when you use the same word in the same place.
It is dry where the people are
But it is loud where the people are- Same goes for these two lines.
So I sit in the silence
My jeans stick to the grey concrete wall
I lean back against the grey chain link fence
I stare through the wind and water at the melting colors of parked cars- Loved this line. It has great imagery in just that tiny of a word.
Then I look up at the sky
The sagging grey sky- I think that the flow would be better if you combined the two sentences such as: Thenn I look up at the sagging grey sky.
I close my eyes
Dripping
Cold
Alone
Happy
I am happy

some words and phrases were repeated without making sense to the poem...

But just like what the speaker in the poem, I also prefer to be alone but not in my own world. In some other ways

This is good, I liked the message it gave. good job!

Nice poem. I just think it need a little more editing in some parts but other than that good job!
Keep up the good work.

Hmmm...
I like it, but:
Do you think you could add some punctuation? I can think of several things you could use in this piece: commas, semicolons, hyphens, periods, colons.
Also: It's all one big stanza, where I can see it needs to be at least four different stanzas. Otherwise (especially without punctuation) when you read it out loud you sound like you're just rushing through it, even like the words are running together ("ItisrainingsteadyandconsistentIamalone...").
Punctuation and seperating the poem into stanzas (which are the equivalent of paragraphs in a story) gives the poem the pauses that you're hearing in your head as you read write it. I know some of them are pretty obvious to you without all of the extra punctuation, but it isn't to us. If you want it to have the same flow to us as it has to you, you need to take special steps.