Dea Nana,
I have always needed you. You guided me, you helped me to understand. You lifted me up when I forgot how to stand. You taught me how to trust again. I owe you everything. Which is why I hate to see the distance forming between us. Ever since I quit church, ever since I decided to love women too. Since then you have tried to change my ways. AndI kept getting angeier and angrier, wishing you could see I was fine. I had chosen this life.
One day you told me if there was ever a song you wanted to dedicate to me, it would be the song "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne. I listened to the song, and then I understood everything. You leave me now, when I am in need. You cannot bear to help me anymore. Because years ago, when you saved me from a destruction I did not know of, you raised me for more ofmy life than my father could.
Now, I have turned on the very words you brought me up with. I turned from the bible. In your eyes, you failed to secure heaven into my future. I was destined for hell, and it was all your fault. I was pretty much your child, and every day my choices set me farther abd farther from the life you hoped for me. You can not bear to continue to help, when I turned on the life you so badly wished I would have.
I love you, Nana. I do. You have to understand it wasn't you. As someone I know once said, "why would I choose this? Being humilated and taunted and set on display? Who would EVER choose that?" This is who I am, Nana. Not what I chose. I need you most now. And I will always need you. Just remember that the perfect life you wanted for me would not be perfect for me at all. You found your way, be there for me while I find my own.
Love always,
Your Granddaughter.
this is tricky to review as I don't really know what it's meant to be. It sounds like it might be a real letter you've written? Or at least a venting exercise (which I am all for). But yeah, it's hard to review since I'm not sure of the purpose, so all I'll say is:
