Calligraphy

I remember the film,
your hands dropping
pulse to pulse

in long, cursive fingerprints.
They stutter at my clavicle,
blot out freckles.

In morse code, you tap
.. .-.. --- ...- . -.-- --- ..-
until the ink sinks
into my hip.

Your hand hot against my navel.

I forget
if you were right
handed or left.

Spoiler

I gave this Charlie II by placing it on his wall, but I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it with everyone. For Gallyallyarous in particular, because I like showing off.

Hello there, my dear. I like this. Not as much as some of your other poetry as it is perhaps lacking in the sophistication and vivid imagery, but it's great in its own right. The simplicity works pretty well and there's a nice, soft tone to it. I would perhaps have liked more sensory description of the feel of the bodies against each other since you do have so much touching involved, but never mind! Here's a few brief comments:

I remember the film,
your hands slipping [Maybe dropping instead of slipping to get in on more of that plosive action?]
pulse to pulse [Maybe pulse by pulse?]

in long, cursive fingerprints. [Nice way to describe them. I'd not thought about it before but yes, there's something rather cursive about fingerprints. I love the way your mind works.]
They stutter at my clavicle,
blot out freckles.

In morse code, you tap
.. .-..---...-. -.-----..-
until the ink sinks
into my hip.

Your hand hot against my navel. [This is where I'd like to see more of that sensory description. Maybe add a simile? I don't think it's strong enough as a stand alone line.]

I forget
if you were right
handed or left.

Love the ending! And that is all I have for you, my love. Take care,

Heather xxx

As i have perviously said many times before, poetry is the hardest to critique because it all has to do with the writers own feelin g and 'poetic liscense' if you please. but i have to say, i quiet enjoy this! i'm not really sure what it has to do with the title, but it is really interesting. i like the three lined stanza and how you broke that up at the end having a one then three lined stanza. i'm not really sure what the morse code has to do with it and it sort of breaks up the flow of the three lined stanzas. does it mean anything in particular? but i actually really liked the emotion of it.

Hi Tangent!

I love you and your work always, so yay! I love the word play, especially the part where she says she forgets the whether that person is right handed or left... I love it because it kind of implies that this person might have had good motives or he might have left, and so on. It's just really confusing, but in the best sort of ambiguous/confusing way. Also, I love the whole writing references there too.

My main gripe with this poem is the Morse code... I actually know that language (yup... pretty geeky, I know,) so I was looking forward to reading it, but I only was able to read the first letter "I" and then I couldn't read anymore because it was all squished together and you didn't separate your letters at all. You may consider writing it like didit didadah or something like that, just so it would be easier to read for the nerds like me. Or... not. I realize that the dashes and dots are more typical of Morse code and people can easily recognize it as Morse code, so that's one good thing about it. But, it's harder to get your meaning. Maybe you can space out all your letters and we can figure out the words better? That might work really well, actually.

Anyway!

--... ...-- (73, or best regards)

and

---.. ---.. (88, or hugs and kisses)



EDIT: AHA. "I LOVE YOU." Got it... finally! But still, know that in ham radio, people usually send 88 in Morse code to each other to indicate love. Just so you know!

It’s beautiful but it still lacks. I can tell it’s not some of your best work. At one point I felt that the flow and tone of the passage was broke. It’s a nice piece, but could improve with some editing.