Hate

Do you know how it feels?
To hate yourself
You mess everything up
You care all to much
You dump all your problems
On your friends
And you don't even deserve
That much
You don't know
Why
They care
Why they put up with you
And you hate yourself
For causing problems
For lying
Saying you're okay
When you're not
You hate that you care
About her
More than anyone else in this world
You hate that you can never have her
You hate that you cause her trouble
You hate that you love her
You hate that she could change everything
But she doesn't
You hate that you're not good enough
You hate that you never will be
You hate how they
Lie
Saying you're worth it
When you know you're not
You hate that you used to be happy
Now look at what you've become
You hate that you ask for so much
You hate how one min your okay
The next your not
You hate yourself
You hate you're life
You hate life
You hate that you're never happy
And you're always hurt
You hate that you're mad at yourself
And you hate that you hate yourself
You hate that you're writing this poem
You hate that you're caught in this cycle
It never ends
A cycle of hate and hurt
Do you know how it feels?

Yup. Mostly.

You use "your" when you should use "you're" and there was you missing its u in there somewhere. And it's writing, with one t.

Also, I don't think there should be as many line breaks, and divide this into stanzas.

And your friends are probably right, actually-I tell some of my friends they're awesome (because they really, truly are) and they don't seem to get it.

You're better than you think you are, and you can overcome this.

Thank you for the review but trust me if you met me you would realize that I'm not good or awsome and I am right about myself.

Hey I really liked this it had emotion and everything in it. But I'm not worried about this poem I'm sad for you! You cannot think of yourself like this! I'm gonna PM you!

Thank you but everything in that poem is true and please don't be sad for me. You should be happy.

I read your poem, and you already know, that most people go through these emotions, a lot. A lot more than they should but I'm not that worried about them because I'm sure that they have someone who will take of them.
I am more worried about YOU because if this is your life you are describing then you can talk to me about it if you want, seriously I'm not kidding!

Now let's get back to your poem, I agree with animekaratepup that some lines are really short and some are really long and they really don't go with the flow. You should take more care of your grammar, well, other than that it's seriously very good and damn true.

I would love more of your poems, so you inform me if you want me review anything.

You should also remember that you are the best in every possible way and it doesn't matter what people think about you. you shouldn't be sad so much or think about 'hate' or 'hurt' because it's not healthy! you can PM me anytime you want if you want to talk something....

Thanks for the review. I plan to edit it more tommorrow. I alson have onemore poem posted I would love it if you reviewed that. Thank you for your concern everyone on here is very nice and kind. I might just take you up on that offer to talk though.

it's good. But try and link up some of the...I don't know what you call them in poetry terms but some of the lines...if you get what i mean. I just feel it's too long and could easily be made shorter.

Thank you and I will. I plan to edit more tommorrow.

As the others have said, I really liked the poem. You're good at expressing your feelings and emotions, etc. Keep up the awesome writing

Hey!

Fortunately I don't know what it feels like to hate myself, but I know what it feels like to hate someone and be hated by someone. It doesn't feel too good. So I can imagine hating yourself does not give you a good feeling either. Alright, on to the poem...I didn't find any edits to this poem. I loved the way I could feel the emotions leaping out at my as I read this. The format was...interesting...but it worked well for this. Keep it up, this is great!

-Jessa

There's nothing I would recommended for this because I actually think it's fine the way it is. The rhythm gets a little strange but thats actually one of the things I like about it. The imperfections in a perfect poem.

It really did bring out a lot of emotions in me. I realize that although I've felt this way so many times, I never considered writing about it. I never thought it would be interesting enough. Things always have to be specific to me. But this was so... fabulous. Although it makes me kind of sad, I'm fine with reading it over and over again. I'm not exactly sure you care that I feel this way, but I like to know how my pieces make people feel, so I thought I'd... I don't know... yeah. I envy you for actually writing this hatred down.

Amazingly well done!

Thank you very much for all the kind reviews. I never thought this many people would like my poetry. It makes me very happy to know that most of you like my poetry. Also to everyone who has shown concern about me thank you. Everyone on here is mostly very sweet. I promise to look at people's work who has reviewed mine. Thank you for the people that said I did a good job on this or that they really liked this poem. It means the world to me.

First of all, this poem is great. My heart just split open for you! I just wanted to give you a hug, or SOMETHING! And, before I get into the grammar part of this, I will elaborate some more about the feelings behind this. I have actually never hated myself, but I know what it feels like to regret a lot of things that you have done in the past. But, I realized that life can't be perfect, and we can't go in the past and erase or change anything at all. Once we realize that, we will know that, life is really sad, and the sad things overpower the good in our daily lives. BUT, when we see that there are many more great things in our lives, which we haven't even NOTICED before, we will learn to appreciate them. Life will be easier, and much better. Also, my religion has gotten me through it, I'm not sure if you love God, but, He has gotten me through life.

Ok, now time for grammar. Yipee! At first, as I started to read this, I was looking for a period, or a comma. Then I realized ...hmm...no punctuation at all! Except in the end. I thought it was a little strange, but, then I actually got used to it. It's just different. I'm not sure if it would be any better with punctuation or not. Maybe you should try reading it both ways, to see if you want to add any punctuation. I think, if anything, you should definitely add a question mark after "Do you know how it feels to hate yourself?"

One last thing, I think the 1 should be replaced with ..one..

Thanks for writing this. I hope my review helps you a lot.

Thank you for that review. On the pucation problem, I made the choice not to use puncation. Now I've been given advice to use puncation but some people have told me that it makes the poem differrent and now I'm not sure if I should change it or not. Same thing with the stanzas. I will edit this shortly. Also thank you for the conceron your very kind. I do love god and I've tealized that I can't change things. Now I am rying to be strong and ger through this hard time in my life.