Confused

I like this one. I actually wrote this because of some feelings I wasn't able to express in any other way than this. This is my story right now.

Today,
you died,
and you didn't
tell me why.
My questions
met a sigh.

You look like
you've seen Hell.
You won't talk
so I can't tell
If you'll come back
or why you fell.

Your expression
of dread;
I waved,
you just said
'Hi'. My
thoughts fled
any semblance of order. Chaos reigns, and I am confused,
bewildered. I can't even begin to wonder why
you won't even look at me anymore.

In case you didn't notice, the sudden lack of rhyme and reason in the end was symbolic of what happened. Also, do you think I should have put this in narrative poetry?

Oh a lovely poem ! I think it is just fine were you put it really Keep up the good work

I didn't like it much because I don't feel like many people will be able to relate to it, myself included. Good poetry is mostly defined by what you like, but if no one else does, you won't have much success as a writer.

I didn't really understand the meaning of the poem, however I really liked the first two stanzas. The first sentence is definitely my favorite line, as it's very easy to relate to for me. The end confused me a bit, but I like how you've changed the rhyme and rhythm to emphasize the thoughts.

Just a little nitpick:

You won't talk
so I can't tell
If you'll come back
or why you fell.

For most of the poem you put the start of sentences in capitals, but for this bit you've added a capital where a sentence doesn't begin. It's just something that annoyed me! Apart from that, the rest looks good!

Hi SassyKat!

I think it's fine where it is! You didn't really tell a story as much as you expressed feelings and such. So, I think lyric poetry fits!

As far as the poem goes, I'm really interested in what you said and I think you can describe more things! For example, one thing I thought was interesting was the way you described your friend:

You look like
you've seen Hell.
You won't talk
so I can't tell
If you'll come back
or why you fell.

Why does it look like s/he's seen Hell? That's a very vivid imagery! What are the visual clues that the narrator sees? Also, the description of being "fallen" is soooo interesting, and once more it brings up the imagery of God and the Devil, since in Genesis the serpent's temptation is known as "The Fall." And then the "you won't talk" reminds me of the Tower of Babel... and yes, I am taking a class on world religions and such where we have to do close readings on Genesis, can't you tell? XD

Anyway, so you bring up sooo many interesting images and ideas here! It's awesome! Now, the next step is to take these awesome images and to weave them together in such a way that it is interesting for the reader to explore what is happening. So, basically, layers of layers of meaning. Right now, your poem seems a little bit simple, which is fine, but you can definitely expand it into something far more reaching.

Best of luck!

I loved it. My friend's mom died just and I dont really know how he feels, but I feel really bad, I cant imaging losing someone like that when she's not that old, its gotta be hard, going through the rest of highschool and college without her. No mom-prom, nobody to give flowers to after the homecoming football game, so i feel the depth in this poem. Great job, Keep Writing!

Very nice.

The emotion was great and I saw no problems with it but I do think that it should be in Narrative Poetry. Other than that I think the end really interrupts the flow. Even though you wanted it to be that way I still think you should even it out because it's such a BANG of difference that its... not so good.
Over all a great poem though.

Keep writing,
Alzora