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I figured I'd review this one too before I get off! As it's pretty short I'm going to quote the whole thing

lele253isme wrote:Evealla Etherting looked into the sad eyes of the tortured creature. The fairy was big enough to sit on your lap without falling, would it fall if it was too small? why? but he looked rather small as they tore up his left wing in front of his face piece by piece. She flinched, how would it feel to have the only source of freedom snatched from you?
As she was thinking, she didn't notice the eyes that were boring into hers.If they were biring into her eyes surely she would see? They were her father's, and she knew what it was time for her to do. If she didn't notice him watching why would she suddenly know?She walked over to where he was sitting on a red velvet chair in the middle of the room, she took the knife that he held out to her. The knife dug into her hands and she flinched at the thought of it cutting her. She couldn't stand anyone else's blood, so she was sure not to stand her own.
She walked in slow, pacing steps to the fairy. She ignored the pleading look in his green eyes, she walked use a different verb as you have already used walked in this line.forward. She stopped suddenly, as she noticed the blood that surrounded the fairy's left thigh. It was a scratch wound. She looked behind her, she looked at the peircing blue eyes that belonged to Terrow. He averted his gaze from her and coughed as he examined his hands.
She turned back around and faced the fairy. She opened her mouth to talk, to conjure up the words that every one of her kind was supposed to say. But the fairy looked at her, he made a small movement with his hands that were bound with strong chains. His purple hair was gathered wildly all around his face.
"Just, do it. Do it quickly. If I am going to die, it should be short. DO IT!!," the fairy said. He shouted those last words and they echoed in Evealla's mind.
They pounded at her conscience, and she knew that she couldn't do it. She knew that she wouldn't do it. She could never take away a fairy's right for freedom, she flung the sword like she was going to plunge it into his heart. Instead, she twisted the handle and aimed it at the chains that bound the fairy. He smiled, a sweat I think you mean sweet?smile of relief. He undid his hair and he looked around at the men.
Even without a wing, the fairy flew out of an open window that had been ment to torture him more. Evealla turned around and addressed the audience she had failed to jest.
"I will not take part in this. I will not ever," she saidcomma and with those words she ran out of the room. Terrow followed her. When she got outside it was midnight.It would have been almost midnight when she was inside. Maybe state that it was pitch black apart from the stars.
Evealla looked up into the eyes of the stars that shone down upon her. She made no notice of the cat that meowed at her planted feet. The tears streamed down her eyes and the moon shone bright into them making her squint.
It was too much pressure, she thought to herself, no one could have done it. She averted her gaze and it met Terrow's. He smiled at her, weakly. She was greatful that he could even muster a small smile. She smiled back, faintly.I've already made notes on this sentence structure
Terrow walked over to her and held her hand."Anyone would have done it, Evea, anyone," Evealla nodded. Even though deep inside she knew that he had just made that up to plant a seed of no regret into her, but the seed wasn't growing, it wasn't the right season. Again - see prologue -
Terrow caught her disbelief in her eyes, he sighed knowing that nothing he could do would make the regret of failing your own family. - see prologue

Overall this set up the stroy nicely, to lengthen the chapter I would give a more in depth description of some of the characters such as Evealla, Terrow, the father and the fairy.
It was a VERY short chapter ; that isn't a problem, but I do wonder if this will make the book more disjointed if you repeatedly change chapters at such a rapid rate.
Again, contact me if you want anything
Over and out!

Evealla looked up into the eyes of the stars that shone down upon her.

I absolutely love that sentence.
Anyway, overall, it was really good and the person who reviewed before me already pointed out several things that caught my eye. I agree that you should lengthen the chapters more, unless you want to be like James Patterson when he writes Maximum Ride chapters.
But I digress. I definitely think you should continue this story. I really like it so far.

Hey Lele, I'm here to review!

H'okay, so first off I'd like to point your attention to the Formatting option below the text box when you go to post a story...you'll see the option that says Story, and if you select it, your paragraphs will automatically be spaced out and made much easier to read. Pretty nifty, eh?

All right, now to the story -- you've got an interesting start, and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. However, you do an awful lot of telling instead of showing; this is something that many writers (including yours truly!) struggle with, so don't worry, you're not alone. I'd like you to take a look at this link, which does a fantastic job of explaining how to recognize showing vs telling in your writing and how to fix it.

Another little issue I noticed was your dialogue punctuation; again, it's a common problem for writers, so here's another great link covering the rules.

Keep an eye on your grammar, too. I noticed spots like this throughout the story:

The knife digged into her dainty hands and she flinched at the thought of it cutting her.

"Digged" should be "dug."
I'd suggest just reading it aloud, and you'll hopefully hear the areas that sound a little awkward and need some revision.

Now, for what's going on in your story -- it all feels a bit fast. I didn't get a really good picture of the setting they're in, but the characters were described pretty well, so no worries there. There were also a few inconsistencies, as if you had leapt forward in time and left out an important part. For example:

His purple hair was tied around his neck, preventing him to talk. He stood there in the silence that seemed to consume him.
"Just, do it. Do it quickly. If I am going to die, it should be short. DO IT!!," the fairy said.

You just said that his hair was tied around his throat to prevent him from talking; then you follow it up by him talking to her (verbally, it seems, and not telepathically somehow).

Okay, so that's all I've got to critique. I'd say overall, it's got good potential; the mechanics seem to be giving you more trouble than of the actual storytelling. Brush up on your spelling and grammar, and remember to not just tell the reader what's going on.

Feel free to PM me if you've got any questions! Cheers! (:

Hello!
First of all I like the idea of the story, the imagery was pretty good with the descriptions of the characters and such.
The only problem is I find myself getting confused as to what is going on as you use the words "he" and "she" instead of names a lot so you don't know who is talking to who.
This will be great once you polish it up.
Good luck!
SweetMoments

Oh, how to begin this review? You did wonderful! There is a lot to say that you did great- I love your descriptions, smooth wording, etc. But there are also some things that could be worked on. Grammar is an example.

She flinched, how would it feel to have the only source of freedom snatched from you?

This is an example of a run-on sentence. It would be better to say it like, "She flinched. How would it feel to have the only source of freedom snatched from you?"
This is because with a compound sentence, you have to have a conjunction. So, another example would be, "She flinched and asked herself how it would feel to have the only source of freedom snatched from you." In this case, the and is the conjunction.
And a few very minor details such as spaces that shouldn't be there (between the last word of a sentence and its period).
Also, there's this.

"Just, do it. Do it quickly. If I am going to die, it should be short. DO IT!!," the fairy said.

When you say, "DO IT!!," there are some things that should be fixed. Firstly, there is too much punctuation. Only one exclamation point is needed, and when someone is exclaiming something, there is no need for a comma. Plus, all capital letters may or may not be good for the story. Think hard if it distracts from the story or not. So, you may want to rephrase this as...
"Just do it. Do it quickly. If I am going to die, it should be short. Do it!" the fairy said.
^^^^^^^^^
Notice how I got rid of the comma. It was misplaced. If you want your character to hesitate here, it would be better to say:
"Just... do it..." or something.
All in all, I think you should be proud of your work. You did a fantastic job, and here, we're all developing writers. I think you did a wonderful job and your work is something to be proud of. Keep on writing!