Simple, yet mysteriously complex. I love it, VEE. Bravo.
Love, lies. Wishes, whys.
Good job
Though, I think it would be AH-MAY-ZING if, since you capitalized every other line, that you changed it around a bit to make them spell something. That would be awesome!
"If you were half as funny as you thought you were, my boy, you'd be twice as funny as you are."
I absolutely adore this. It's short, sweet, and yet it has a booming effect on the reader. This is the powerful poetry that you see featured in literature books used in high schools. I hope you keep writing good work like this, because it's just so creative. I could go on forever with descriptive words for this piece, but I think I'll leave it at perfect ^.^
"But it's unlikely, because you don't like me, and I don't like me, and it's unlikely..."
Absolutely spectacular! Whether you read it in your head or out loud, the rhythym, the rhyming, the flow, the thoughts, its all just right! It's so simple, but there's definitely something really important in your words... i love that! Nothing i would i even think about changing(: My favorite lines are most definitely:
I think it talks about how we aer so apart from the ones we love. But what I like about this poem is how you used the alliteration in each pair of lines.
Only bad thing is that I don't think the "ME" and "YOU" need capital letters. I understand it's for emphasis, but I think it might look better without.
I know you wanted me to review one of your poems, but you didn't say which one, and this one is the most recent, so I'll be looking at this one!
I might be a bit strange, but I love it when I see really juicy stuff in poetry... like, all the details and the conflict unfolding on the page. I don't want to get hints of what's going on... I want to smell, taste, see, hear, touch it, all in exquisite detail. For me, poetry is a dance to a song of life, and I love my life as rich and complex as I can have it!
With that said, this poem seems to only hint at possible conflict while not really exploring it. Don't be afraid to explore it.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
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