Into Thin Air - Chapter Two (in progress!)

Currently in progress, folks!

Hello
I'm jumping right in so get ready!

fearlessalways13 wrote:Living in such a seemingly perfect world, it is refreshing to see something so far from perfect.

I know this makes sense but you may want to add that it seems perfect on the outside, for it is easy to see that your character doesn't feel perfect.

fearlessalways13 wrote:Thinking about it draws a grin from my lips

I think it should be:

fearlessalways13 wrote:Thinking about it brings a grin to

fearlessalways13 wrote:The Realm thinks that I only spend my days drinking tea with my smallest finger poised in the air.

Wouldn't it be 'The Realm think'? Seeing as they are made up of many people and you use think later on?
When you start talking about what drove this idea I think you need to speak in the past tense as she has already had the idea. Otherwise it can be confusing as to when things happen. Oh, and you never do explain clearly why the balloon is a secret?


I love, love, love the ending sentence!! essage me when you do the next chapter?

Oh, this is amazing! Sorry I have been procrastinating in my reviews, I regret it now that I have read this! How marvelous your work is!

This chapter is really helping me connect with the character of your story. Character building for the character, and you do a great job at it! I also love how you put a shocking cliff hanger at the end!

Update soon! Keep on writing!
-Ruth

Thanks to both of you for your kind comments! I'll be sure to get a move on reviewing your work. (:

IcyFlame, maybe you're right about my not being totally clear as to why the balloon is a secret. I guess I was trying to hint that the main reason it's secret is so that no one even suspects the idea that Corynne is considering escape..does that make sense? This is a bit of a confusing chapter, but I'm really proud of the way I portrayed Corynne. She is realizing for the first time that she actually has (absentmindedly, of course) considered escaping. The other reason her balloon is secret is because she wants a secret, in a sense; her entire life is a show for people to see, because her father is King and she is princess-to-be. Does this make the chapter less confusing? If not, that's ok! Please let me know and I will revise!