The Window (Eye of the beholder)

Light,The warm beam of the sun shining through my bedroom window warms my soul.
The wind seeps through the open crack under my window and kisses my face with every howling breath.
The window is a clear passageway to all happiness with one glance through.
It leads you to a land of nature, flowers smiling back at me and tree’s rustling in the wind.
A land that is peaceful and undisturbed.
A place to sit and ponder in deep thought about what life is.
A window, something so small ,so insignificant that can change your whole outlook on life that’s starts with one simple object.
Through a window the sky can go on forever or it can be enclosed. It can only be what you perceive it as.
The sky can only give you what you heart allows.
The window is the glasses to help you see your life clearer.
The window can be the passageway to pain and sorrow or the passageway to hope and faith.
It is all in the eyes of the beholder.

Hi! Welcome to YWS! I'm Crafty and I shall be your reviewer for today. Corrections in green

Light,the warm beam of the sun shining through my bedroom window warms my soul.
The wind seeps through the open crack under my window and kisses my face with every howling breath.
The window is a clear passageway to all happiness with one glance through.
It leads you to a land of nature, flowers smiling back at me and tree’s rustling in the wind.
A land that is peaceful and undisturbed.
A place to sit and ponder in deep thought about what life is.
A window, something so small ,so insignificant that can change your whole outlook on life that’s starts with one simple object.
Through a window the sky can go on forever or it can be enclosed. It can only be what you perceive it as.
The sky can only give you what you heart allows.
The window is the glasses to help you see your life clearer.
The window can be the passageway to pain and sorrow or the passageway to hope and faith.
It is all in the eyes of the beholder.

Wow. I guess you really didn't need many grammar corrections. Congrats on that! I fully enjoyed your poem and I though the imagary was great. I love the concept as well. My issue falls on your stanza's. Each full line makes the poem a little harder to read and digest. If it were me I'd put it more like this:

Light, This part seems a little unnescary. It messes with the flow. If you get rid of it you can re-capitilize the 'T'
The warm beam of the sun shining through my bedroom window warms my soul.
The wind seeps through the open crack under my window and kisses my face with every howling breath.
The window is a clear passageway to all happiness with one glance through.
It leads you to a land of nature, flowers smiling back at me and tree’s rustling in the wind.
A land that is peaceful and undisturbed.
A place to sit and ponder in deep thought about what life is.
A window, something so small ,so insignificant that can change your whole outlook on life that’s starts with one simple object.
Through a window the sky can go on forever or it can be enclosed.
It can only be what you perceive it as.
The sky can only give you what you heart allows.
The window is the glasses to help you see your life clearer.
The window can be the passageway to pain and sorrow or the passageway to hope and faith.
It is all in the eyes of the beholder.

Overall, I don't see much else to correct!Try reading it aloud to help see what needs fixing. I liked this a lot so please, keep writing! If I sounded confusing please PM me. (Do this y clicking private message under my avatar.) Thanks for letting me review you!

Hi,

It wouldn't hurt to clean up the structure of this poem. You have some nice images here, but the lines are too long and there are a lot of unnecessary words that just bog down the flow and make this a mouthful to read. A lot of it feels very much like prose, and while description like this would work well in a short story, it doesn't exactly here. Take your first two lines:

Light,The warm beam of the sun shining through my bedroom window warms my soul.

First, I don't understand the meaning of the 'light' at the very beginning of this poem. Not only would the comma be grammatically incorrect, but it doesn't flow well and would probably be better without. Second, you have two instances of the word warm.

Poetry needs to be compact and the basic structures of language bent to provide rhythm and flow so as to be read easily. I think you're great at description and imagery and painting scenes -- that's the best thing this poem has. But it would definitely help to clean this up so the stanzas aren't as intimidating. Hope this helps! PM me if there's anything you need -- I hope this review wasn't too harsh.

~ Elinor

Thanks for the reviews guys, (well girls) actually I wasn't the one to write this poem, my good friend Tess wrote this, and I sort of posted it to test drive the whole system of this site I really appreciate the advice, and I think I will apply a lot of the techniques you've mentioned in my pieces later on.