Good Enough to Eat

This is very interesting--I loved it! It has so many different emotions in it. You're really good at poetry. The italics are wonderful too. I guess I never thought much about using it in that way. Fantastic job with this! Again, you're a really goot poet! Keep writing!!!

Thank you!

Your poem was a bit confusing, but I somewhat captured the idea of your poem.

Even though some great poems are built from confusion, it wouldn't hurt if you pointed out some of the obvious in your poems, for people who do not understand (like myself XD)

Thanks. Would you mind explaining what you found confusing so I can fix it?

And run his hands throughout my hair.

For some reason, I feel like this would flow a lot better if It were "through my hair" instead of throughout. Just a suggestion.

Why so it is, my lovely girl. You’ll be ready soon to eat.

That last line seems to have one too many beats ... I blame it on the two syllables in 'ready'. I'd suggest replacing it with a shorter word, for example "You'll soon be set to eat".

Anyways, those are just suggestions. Overall I really liked this, the imagery was fantastic. Definitely deserving of a like.

Keep writing!

You've certainly got a way with words in this poem. I loved all of them and how used them, and though most poems will have cliche rhymes you can predict, this one didn't. That was what made it even better ^^.

It is somewhat humourous. Not so much as creepy, though I don't get creeped out easily. But the words are beautiful, you wrote this wonderfully. There's not really anything I would prefer to be changed. It seems perfect to me. Keep writing them poems, :]

sachipachi1 wrote:Your poem was a bit confusing, but I somewhat captured the idea of your poem.

Even though some great poems are built from confusion, it wouldn't hurt if you pointed out some of the obvious in your poems, for people who do not understand (like myself XD)

With poems, the more it's not obvious, the better. Poems should make you have to decipher it - get you thinking. That's what's so good about them ^^

@Wolf: Thanks! I actually had it originally reading "through" but I always found myself drawing out the word to make the line flow when reading it out loud, so I changed it to throughout. But Maybe you're right, and I was right the first time.... hm.... and thanks for the last line suggestion! I might end up using something like it.

@Blackjack: Thank you very much!

This poem is quite nice, I must say. I especially like the phrase "virgin snow," it's not a description I hear often, so points for originality! It has a dark undertone, but at the same time the narrator's mood is quite light and engaging. It's well written, keep up the good work!
- SOCKS