Dreamy's Insane Poetry Thread

So, here's where I plan to post all the random poetry I write in my free time. But be warned! None of these poems makes any sense. They are, for the most part, just weirdness. Often creepy weirdness. Anyway, here's the first one:



it came on like the populace
expanding human figures.
but when it all comes down to this
in lace and licourice slivers-
who here is the animal?
who knows who to blame?
this sickness spreads across the land
hide your heads in shame.


Yup, freeform! Woot woot! Makes no sense, right?

Here's another one (it's a shorty):

Equations of the Mind


Shall I spin a spider web?
Imagination’s eyes are blind
These everlasting filaments
Equations of the mind.

Hey Dreamy.

So these two poems are really good. You have insane talent, and I can only see you getting better and better. The imagery and flow of these two poems are fantastic, and it's amazing how much you were able to insert and allude to in such a short amount of space.

The first one is great because I like all of the ideas and themes you insert in such a short amount of time. My main problem here is that it's too short for you to flesh these themes out and the reader is left scratching our heads. We get what you're trying to say; but expand on that. Why are humans really the ones that are monsters? It's a great theme, so I want to know more.

The second one is cute, but a bit more confusing. I'm not quite sure what you're trying to allude to, and it makes it hard to relate to and appreciate. I know it's about solving problems, but what kind of problems? It might be good to expand and flesh out a little bit.

Hope this helps -- I really suck at reviewing poetry, so if you have any questions, shoot me a PM. Thanks for the read - can't wait for more!

-Elinor x

Thanks! Actually, half the time, even I don't know what I'm trying to say. I just sort of write the words as they come to me, and sometimes they have meaning... most times not. Is that bad? Maybe. Thanks again!

Even if nobody reads them, here's another:



how can i tell you
i really do love you
when you bleed out the words that i say?
my heart breaks
bit by bit
falling surely thus far.
as you let yourself
fall to decay.
ashes to ashes
and dust to dust.
nothing is written in stone.
blood is a fetish
for those who can’t cope.
i can’t help you-
we’re both on our own.



By the way, when I say love, I don't mean romantic love. I mean friendship-love. I don't do romance XD

These are really good, the last one...the one about love was probably my favorite. I love the emotion in it...I Loved the emotion in all of them. The one thing about the first two...they left me wanting more, which is really good in poetry! Great job

Thank you, m'dear!

Here's one I wrote for school. It's supposed to use synschodche... I think I failed at that, but I personally like how it came out.


The eye stared up
cold and dry.
The salted figure lay
opened up to the sky.
Worms ate what was.
Cards of Fate.
And the blue orb stared
though the hour grew late.
Crows came and left
feasting still.
But the eye never blinked
as most eyes will.
The moon shone down
on bleached bones.
And the skull grinned up
single eye left alone.